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Update for BM crossed line

Posted by on Sep. 8, 2012 at 10:06 PM
  • 71 Replies
1 mom liked this

Bm called the other day and I didn't know the number so I answered it. She demanded to talk to SD. I said No, that BF had to be here when she talked to her. She told me that it was wrong for me to keep her from her child and I had no right. My answer to that was tell me one thing about your child. When was she baptized..into what faith..in what church? When and what kind of surgery has she had? Where does she go to school? What is her teachers name? What is her favorite subject? What position does she play and in what sport? What team is she on? Who is her best friend? Anything!? Tell me anything that she has told you, that I have posted or told you! Anything that any of my friends or family could tell me about her!  She couldn't!  I told her that until she took a little more interest in being a mom to her oldest child then she could live by the rules that BF set forth since that is what the court papers say! I let her know she would be getting a letter from our attorney about the situation and that if she had a problem with any of this we would be happy to meet her in front of a judge! But that until a judge changes the court order she would follow the rules the BF set forth!

So she calls tonight and it is on her mothers phone so my SD answers it thinking it is Grandma. She starts in on her and I can hear it across the room. SD tells her God Bless and hangs up. I have to say I was proud. She showed alot of courage. She crawled up in my lap and cried until she fell asleep. I called the bio Grandmother back and let her know that our number was changing and she would not be getting it. If she wanted to talk to SD she could call BF and that thanks to her allowing BM to pull her crap her grandbaby cried herself to sleep. She tells me that it is all my fault! That I am the problem! I tell her it is no wonder BM can't take responsibility for her actions. It truly floors me. So I get to call the phone company on Monday and change the number! Whoopie! But I have managed to block her everyway else! The only way to get to SD is through BF! My job is done!!

Anyway we are taking her to the therapist and it is helping, our pastor came over and we had a wonderful talk. So we are going to keep it civil and just let God handle it. and our lawyer. Thank you all for the wonderful advise! I don't discuss this with many people in my life due to not wanting to embarrass or hurt SD.

by on Sep. 8, 2012 at 10:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MRLAdy
by Bronze Member on Sep. 8, 2012 at 10:10 PM
What's the situation with BM?
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GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Sep. 8, 2012 at 10:13 PM
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I agree that you are a problem. She isn't your child to block her mother from her. If I were her I would be contacting an attorney Monday while you are changing your number. Maybe if you hadn't gone off on you tirade tell me something about your kid then BM could have just talked to your SD without making her cry. That was a complete bullshit move on your part.
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MonkeysMomma42
by on Sep. 8, 2012 at 10:13 PM


Quoting MRLAdy:

What's the situation with BM?


Many issues..but the other morning she called and started alot of drama by threatening SD with forcing her to live with her. She has no custody and limited visitation. SD had a horrible reaction, something that I have never seen in 5 years. She came completly unglued, hid in closet, clunk to me and begged her father to leave work and come take post at our home because she was convinced her BM was going to come kipnap her!

MRLAdy
by Bronze Member on Sep. 8, 2012 at 10:17 PM
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Oh yeah I remember that post. Therapy, court, and protection is what sd needs! Good luck!
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MonkeysMomma42
by on Sep. 8, 2012 at 10:17 PM
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Quoting GlockMom:

I agree that you are a problem. She isn't your child to block her mother from her. If I were her I would be contacting an attorney Monday while you are changing your number. Maybe if you hadn't gone off on you tirade tell me something about your kid then BM could have just talked to your SD without making her cry. That was a complete bullshit move on your part.


You have no idea what you are talking about. I raise my SD and her BM has almost no contact with her by her own doing. She threatened to come to my house and take the child away. Sending my SD into a reaction that wound us up at the hospital. Our attorney told us to file a motion to revoke rights. Bio Dad had already set the rules for communications and her trying to circumvent them an then attacking a 9yr old child over the phone is the issue. So when anyone places a child that you raise and love and are devoted to places them in harms way you can let them have all the contact you want but for my family we chose to follow the advise of a child therapist and lawyer. God Bless.

spykgurlcom
by on Sep. 8, 2012 at 10:18 PM
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I think you handled it well. Bf instructed you what to do, and you did it. SD is strong and has a loving person protecting her. Good for you. Let bf, lawyers and god handle it, and do what you're doing.
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MonkeysMomma42
by on Sep. 8, 2012 at 10:21 PM
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Quoting MRLAdy:

Oh yeah I remember that post. Therapy, court, and protection is what sd needs! Good luck!


We are doing that. She has seen the therapist twice and she has written a report for the court and suggest monitered communications. Lawyer is laying out the court order for her to follow and we are trying to protect her from all directions. Thank you!

MonkeysMomma42
by on Sep. 8, 2012 at 10:23 PM


Quoting spykgurlcom:

I think you handled it well. Bf instructed you what to do, and you did it. SD is strong and has a loving person protecting her. Good for you. Let bf, lawyers and god handle it, and do what you're doing.


Thank you! I am trying to do exactly as I was told. She is doing ok just want to keep it that way!

luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Sep. 8, 2012 at 10:24 PM
In this sitch, I believe bf has sole custody, so these decisions are his to make, and bmhas been told what channels she must use to contact her dd(going through bf only, not sm). Sm is not "blocking" bm from her child, she is carrying out the boundaries set by the child's custodial parent.

Maybe sue didn't need to go off on bm, but she was under no.obligation legally or morally to put her sd on the phone.

My SS's bm is not allowed to contact ss through me either. She is only allowed to call Js phone. If ss is with me, she has to wait till j is around. Those are the boundaries set by myself and J in order to minimize the conflict and negativityin our lives and for our children.

OP, I'm with you for the most part, but you really should have just told bm to call your dh, and hung up.


Quoting GlockMom:

I agree that you are a problem. She isn't your child to block her mother from her. If I were her I would be contacting an attorney Monday while you are changing your number. Maybe if you hadn't gone off on you tirade tell me something about your kid then BM could have just talked to your SD without making her cry. That was a complete bullshit move on your part.

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angelmommy2806
by on Sep. 8, 2012 at 10:27 PM
I would have done the same thing! Sounds like Bf needs to start talking to the attorney about her rights. That poor girl has been through enough and Bm keeps traumatizing her.
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