I am a bio mother of two girls 10 til November and just turned 7.. I am a step mother of 4 kids (1M 3F). I am 29 for a couple more months yet and my Step Son is 23, Step Daughter one is 21 with two boys 3 &1 and 99% sure with another on the way *sigh. Then there is the 17yr old daughter, ugh TEEN *head desk*, and the 10 year old daughter. So if you haven't figured it out yes my husband is several years older then I am, but I am so crazy in love it's sickening.
I have been made on several occasions to understand that I am not part of the family. The older three kids have made sure I feel like I don't belong. It is a total bummer because I have tried for the last 6 years to let them know I love them and I will be a friend, with all attempts ReJeCtEd. Any advice on how not to feel resentful? The oldest daughter only calls when she needs something ie free babysitting. The son he is better about calling just to chat with his dad and ask advice.
Then there is the teenager, who until she started high was a great kid and we were close, now I am made to feel like I am evil stepmom.I am the more authoritive parent and my hubby's lack of authority totally makes me look like the bad guy.
Wait there is more too...I was paying for the teenager's cell phone service in return having her babysit my kids on Saturay and Sunday while my husband and I were at work. I found out that she was a very mean individual yelling in my kids faces to the point that spittle would land on their faces. Ripping the television remote violently out of their hands and making them her personal servants. ( I addressed this once when I found out thought I had nixed it, thought wrong). This summer I caught her smoking, literally right in the act. Well her phone got smashed and she now has to pay for a Straight Talk phone and minutes. I have found different babysitters for my 7 year old because my 10 year old moved 1500 miles away to live with her bio dad and his wife. Now the teen and I don't even act like the other is living in the same solar system, but she lives under the same roof. I simply am trying to rein in my hurt feelings of having her drive my daughter away (yes I was told she is the main reason my oldest wanted to move). I don't know what the heck to do?! This child is either in a coma state on the couch watching television or hiding in her room. She goes to her mother's house every chance she gets because her mother isn't a mother. When she is told to do a chore it is half done...dishes put away and dirty dishes load but the counters don't get wiped down and the sink don't get rinsed, she'll take the trash out but not take two seconds to replace the bag, she made cookies from scratch but left the mess in the end my husband finishes everything (irritating).
So here I am trying to figure out what the hell to do, I know that my huband is placed in the center of this mess. I don't want this to ruin our marriage. I never dreamed that I would be the evil step mother.