When her two little step brothers call me mom. Tips on making this easier on her?!? Im all they know as a mom and shes not about to share her mom...shes 7 and the boys are 3 and 2.
Thanks!
Taking your daughter's feelings into consideration isn't a bad thing. I've always wondered what people who allow Sks' to refer to them as "mom" or "dad' would do if their own kid wasn't happy with that set up...
If they must call you mom, maybe try to get them to call you momma miss?
I donno, i wouldn't want to hurt my skid's feelings, but if my kid had a problem with it, I'd pick something different for them to call me. I'd sure as hell hate for my kid to call his SM "MOM", especially if I'm an active mom in his life.
Shes not an active mom and hasnt been since the youngest was three weeks old. She was last we heard addicted to meth. and living in a half way house. Her counselor called to tell us and said that she shouldnt see the kids until she is more established and can prove she is sober, shes done this before. She talked to them once after the counselor called and that was a month ago. We have been living in the same house now for 5 months. We never had them sit down as say you have to call me mom, I think its just because my kids call me mom, thats what they see and hear. I have explained it to my dd and even said she is lucky to have a mom since they do not and we should be thoughtful of them and can share, just like they share their dad. Usually they call me "my kim" but occasionally they will say mom. we used to correct but I am the only thing close to a mom to them and would hate to have them thinking they dont deserve to have a "mom" in their life so we just dont even make it an issue unless dd is around. When she yells she is not your mom she is my mom. its heart breaking and a tough situation. We realized we would go through this as a blended family of young children, just thought maybe someone else would have gone through this and have some advice.
You're telling your daughter that she needs to share her mom with kids who have a mom, just not a good one?
Yeah, no, that shoudn't ever backfire on you.
Quoting packermomof2:
You're telling your daughter that she needs to share her mom with kids who have a mom, just not a good one?
Yeah, no, that shoudn't ever backfire on you.
how is this advice?
she might think she is loosing you, so you should do some mommy daughter activities, she needs some extra time to show that she is not loosing a mom but gaining brothers, tell her that they are her new brothers and your sons, and that she is your own very special daughter.
Quoting miss.k:
Quoting packermomof2:
You're telling your daughter that she needs to share her mom with kids who have a mom, just not a good one?
Yeah, no, that shoudn't ever backfire on you.
how is this advice?
It's actually very good advice.
having/letting your SK's call you mom is going to backfire on you.
I'm a CSM with an absent BM. She is everything bad you can think of, however she is still their MOM. She comes around when she is doing good. Last time she was gone for 10yrs. So, remember this....Just because she is "gone" at the moment, does not always mean she is going to be gone forever.
How would you feel if you where in a coma for 2 yrs, then woke-up to your daughter calling someone else mom? Their BM is sick. I know it's hard to think of a drug addict that way, but it is what it is.
Having a mom that is absent due to drugs is going to be hard on them forever! She may not be gone forever, but it will effect them forever. Having/letting them call you mom is not a fix to having an absent one, it's just adding more confusion to the situation.
Now to your own daughter. Just wow. You straight up know she HATES it. Your daughter should always be #1.
How do you know she hates it? What do you say to her about it?
Chores- how much is too much.
- miss.k
on Sep. 19, 2012 at 5:30 PM