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So it's almost step daughter's open house tonight.....she's is with her mother this week....My fiance said you're  going with me! I don't want to go...I don't want to see his ex wife...I don't know why i'm such a baby about it....she left him for another guy and we've been together almost two years getting married in May...Any advice other then grow some?? I just know I will be really nervous and I don't want her to see that...that's my biggest thing......but why do I react this why to her?

by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 11:39 AM
Replies (11-20):
Derdriu
by Gold Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 12:28 PM
2 moms liked this

You don't have to go because you're not the child's parent. 

You should go because:

  • your fiance asked you to
  • you will have an influence over the child's schoolwork
  • you are almost part of her family, and family supports one another

This is open house.  It's a not a parent-teacher conference or anything confidential.  It's the school's night to say, "Hey, look how awesome we are!"  Attending merely shows interest in stbSD's daily life.

E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 12:56 PM


Quoting MISSYB01:

OMG!! Really?? I thought everyone would be like omg just go!!! yes i'm sure the mother is going to be there and he is planning on going.....I think he just wants me there for support....he dsn't like to be around a lot of people

It may just be that, but what would he do if you weren't around?

I'm not trying to diss on your DH

My DH has social anxiety, but I don't enable him. If he can't parent without me, then he shouldn't have his kids.

TempestRayne
by Donna on Sep. 20, 2012 at 12:57 PM


Quoting Derdriu:

You don't have to go because you're not the child's parent. 

You should go because:

  • your fiance asked you to
  • you will have an influence over the child's schoolwork
  • you are almost part of her family, and family supports one another

This is open house.  It's a not a parent-teacher conference or anything confidential.  It's the school's night to say, "Hey, look how awesome we are!"  Attending merely shows interest in stbSD's daily life.


LexRi0709
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 1:00 PM
1 mom liked this
You need to stop thinking of her as the ex wife, and think of her as your step childs mother. Be happy that your so wants you involved. my stepmom was very involved in everything for me. I don't see anything wrong with going.
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AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 2:01 PM

 If you don't want to go... don't go.

I'm pretty sure mom and dad can handle it without you there... and if dad can't: HE NEEDS TO GROW SOME.

momof2cuteboys
by Silver Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 2:27 PM
1 mom liked this

My DH does homework with my son almost every night and he just started going to open houses ... because DH and I's son just started kindergarten.  So we went to his open house and then walked over to my DS's open house.  That was the first time. 

I just don't get why BF can't go on his own.  Maybe he needs to grow a pair. LOL

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 2:31 PM
Why is it a big deal that she left him for another man? Is he nervous about the other man being there?
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MISSYB01
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 2:49 PM
1 mom liked this

I wanted to throw that in in case someone thought he left her for me..(incase someone implied the reason I might be nervous)...I just don't know why I feel so uncomfortable in these situations.....I don't want to see or speak to her....she's a b**ch...nothings good enough

Quoting momof2ex1:

Why is it a big deal that she left him for another man? Is he nervous about the other man being there?


justhavingfun.
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 3:01 PM
I would think because its the right thing to do. As another poster says, family supports each other.


Quoting WifeyC:



Quoting MISSYB01:

I know deep down I have to go.....I just have to do it

Why do you have to go?


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meerkat101
by Member on Sep. 20, 2012 at 3:14 PM

sorry to say - but yes, you should go

why? because your fiance asked you to please go with


why do you feel this way - that is the thing you must explore. maybe deep down you have some self-doubt (as you say "nothing is good enough").

you MUST sort out this feelings you have - as it is one of the things that may ruin your marriage later.


I'll probably get some interesting replies on this one, but yes - I did feel inferior to BM before I met her. I was scared becaused SHE left HIM, so I was unsure whether he was still hung up on her (he wasn"t or isn"t, they married because she fell pregnant after telling him she couldn't have children). I was scared that she was prettier or more clever or or or than me.

I had to become sure of myself and our relationship - otherwise all of those doubts would have killed us!!

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