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So it's almost step daughter's open house tonight.....she's is with her mother this week....My fiance said you're  going with me! I don't want to go...I don't want to see his ex wife...I don't know why i'm such a baby about it....she left him for another guy and we've been together almost two years getting married in May...Any advice other then grow some?? I just know I will be really nervous and I don't want her to see that...that's my biggest thing......but why do I react this why to her?

by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 11:39 AM
Replies (51-59):
ScarlettLetter
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:27 PM
We wear ours on our chest, hunny!! Put on the supportive one, swallow your pride and go. That little one needs you there, too. Don't allow BM to see you're scared...they can smell fear!!
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whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:43 PM


Quoting MISSYB01:

So I grew some!!! and decided to go!!! I felt that my fiance needed the support!! again he doesn't like being around a lot of people (and he doesn't have a mental illness) to the idiot that said that by the way! idk think whatever you want. So the Bm didn't even show!!! almost sd's grandparents brought her. I guess someone "broke into their house" and Bm had to wait for the police to get there and couldn't show. I wonder if the house was really broken into?? I was like I got all nervous for nothing!!!!! I'm moving forward from here...I have to start seeing her sometime...its going to happen inevitably.

I said it. I would think he had some kind of mental illness or phobia if he is afraid to go to a back to school night. Is he in counseling for that? 

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:45 PM


Quoting whatIknownow:


Quoting MISSYB01:

So I grew some!!! and decided to go!!! I felt that my fiance needed the support!! again he doesn't like being around a lot of people (and he doesn't have a mental illness) to the idiot that said that by the way! idk think whatever you want. So the Bm didn't even show!!! almost sd's grandparents brought her. I guess someone "broke into their house" and Bm had to wait for the police to get there and couldn't show. I wonder if the house was really broken into?? I was like I got all nervous for nothing!!!!! I'm moving forward from here...I have to start seeing her sometime...its going to happen inevitably.

I said it. I would think he had some kind of mental illness or phobia if he is afraid to go to a back to school night. Is he in counseling for that? 

What's that called?  When you have a phobia of crowds or people??

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:47 PM


Quoting sandeeyo:


Quoting whatIknownow:


Quoting MISSYB01:

So I grew some!!! and decided to go!!! I felt that my fiance needed the support!! again he doesn't like being around a lot of people (and he doesn't have a mental illness) to the idiot that said that by the way! idk think whatever you want. So the Bm didn't even show!!! almost sd's grandparents brought her. I guess someone "broke into their house" and Bm had to wait for the police to get there and couldn't show. I wonder if the house was really broken into?? I was like I got all nervous for nothing!!!!! I'm moving forward from here...I have to start seeing her sometime...its going to happen inevitably.

I said it. I would think he had some kind of mental illness or phobia if he is afraid to go to a back to school night. Is he in counseling for that? 

What's that called?  When you have a phobia of crowds or people??

agoraphobia. They do prescribe medication for it. I think, paxel?

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:51 PM


Quoting whatIknownow:


Quoting sandeeyo:


Quoting whatIknownow:


Quoting MISSYB01:

So I grew some!!! and decided to go!!! I felt that my fiance needed the support!! again he doesn't like being around a lot of people (and he doesn't have a mental illness) to the idiot that said that by the way! idk think whatever you want. So the Bm didn't even show!!! almost sd's grandparents brought her. I guess someone "broke into their house" and Bm had to wait for the police to get there and couldn't show. I wonder if the house was really broken into?? I was like I got all nervous for nothing!!!!! I'm moving forward from here...I have to start seeing her sometime...its going to happen inevitably.

I said it. I would think he had some kind of mental illness or phobia if he is afraid to go to a back to school night. Is he in counseling for that? 

What's that called?  When you have a phobia of crowds or people??

agoraphobia. They do prescribe medication for it. I think, paxel?

Hmm, maybe her DH just hates being sociable and around people he doesn't know?  I'm like that sometimes, and I don't like crowds, but it doesn't freak me out or anything if I have to be social or in a crowd.

I heard a lot of not so nice things about paxil...I didn't think it was perscribed anymore.  It had weird withdrawl symptoms if you took it for awhile.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 10:53 PM


Quoting sandeeyo:


Quoting whatIknownow:


Quoting sandeeyo:


Quoting whatIknownow:


Quoting MISSYB01:

So I grew some!!! and decided to go!!! I felt that my fiance needed the support!! again he doesn't like being around a lot of people (and he doesn't have a mental illness) to the idiot that said that by the way! idk think whatever you want. So the Bm didn't even show!!! almost sd's grandparents brought her. I guess someone "broke into their house" and Bm had to wait for the police to get there and couldn't show. I wonder if the house was really broken into?? I was like I got all nervous for nothing!!!!! I'm moving forward from here...I have to start seeing her sometime...its going to happen inevitably.

I said it. I would think he had some kind of mental illness or phobia if he is afraid to go to a back to school night. Is he in counseling for that? 

What's that called?  When you have a phobia of crowds or people??

agoraphobia. They do prescribe medication for it. I think, paxel?

Hmm, maybe her DH just hates being sociable and around people he doesn't know?  I'm like that sometimes, and I don't like crowds, but it doesn't freak me out or anything if I have to be social or in a crowd.

I heard a lot of not so nice things about paxil...I didn't think it was perscribed anymore.  It had weird withdrawl symptoms if you took it for awhile.

my sister takes it because she has an anxiety disorder. 

Anxiety disorder or agoraphobia is nothing to be ashamed of. If the OP's husband has such a disorder and needs her to accompany him so he can handle being at the back to school night, then she should go. Although I do hope he is also getting treatment for this disorder.

runningmom18
by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 3:21 PM
1 mom liked this

 Go - he asked  you to, which means he wants you there for support.  Been there, done that, and will be doing it for the rest of my life, and bc I adore my now husband, and all four of our children that we brought to the mix, I will always go with him.  My first outing with his ex was a birthday party for his youngest little girl, at his ex-wife's parent's house (where she lives), and it is quite possibly the most stressful thing I have ever done - and you know what? I would do it all over again because it was important to him.  Start going now, be strong and confident, no need to be nervous, and be there to love and support your soon to be husband and his children.  You will get through it, I promise :) And he will be so thankful that you put yourself out there so selflessly.  So go and have fun :)

ShannaBee
by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 3:50 PM

Just tell him that you don't want to go and how you feel. If you can't speak up, write it in a letter. He should not force you to do something you dont' want to do or force you into an uncomfortable situation.

macbudsmom
by Silver Member on Sep. 24, 2012 at 3:52 PM
Sounds like he is the one who needs to grow some. Lol


Quoting MISSYB01:

OMG!! Really?? I thought everyone would be like omg just go!!! yes i'm sure the mother is going to be there and he is planning on going.....I think he just wants me there for support....he dsn't like to be around a lot of people


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