I would say no. It is not healthy. However, it is why stepparents should take a step back and let bioparent do all the work.
Ah, I can't wait to see some of the answers to this one.
I would say no. I don't think a wise parent encourages their children to disrespect any authority figure or other adults in their lives. If an adult poses a problem for a child and/or makes requests that the child is uncomfortable with, either the parent can intervene or (often) they can instruct the child how to respond respectfully without inciting a problem.
With steps, you're adding issues of jealousy, insecurity, protectiveness... a lot of different emotions that cloud judgment when the other adult is in any way parental. The same BP who tells their kids to disobey a SP might flip their lid if the kids disobeyed a teacher. However, some SPs do overstep boundaries by miles. A SP asking a kid to pick up their toys should be obeyed. That's a perfectly reasonable request. A SP demanding that a kid call them mom/dad is not only overstepping the boundaries of SP but also violating the kid's comfort zone and bond with the BP. So in that case, BP can contact the other BP and complain about the SP and/or instruct the kid to hold their ground, in which it is technically disobeying but also enabling the kid to maintain their own boundaries.
Quoting savingtheworld:Wow..nope not that kind of step parent..I don't call the shots between husband an bio mom I dont do drop off or pick ups....I do go to soccer games..but I don't go to court hearings etc..but at my house I do expect kids to follow the rules..bc its my an my husband house..but apparently bio told kid that she doesn't like me an she doesn't have to listen? Seriously
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