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Should a parent tell there child that they don't have to obey their stepparents?
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by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 6:58 PM
Replies (31-40):
Pero1
by on Sep. 22, 2012 at 3:30 PM


Quoting sidelinesally:

 

Really? She can't ask SM for an Advil? Who gets it for her if there's no other adult around? Does she help herself and you hope she gets the dosage right? What about a bandaid if she cuts herself? Can SM get one of those for her or does she have to call you first? I think these pidly things are what send the message that SM is an incompetent idiot and can't be trusted to do right by the SK. They are the types of things that set SM up for being disrespected by SKs.

In my case SM IS an incompetent idiot, but that's neither here nor there ... SM doesn't have more rights (or less) than my nanny had, or the school nurse.The school nurse sticks bandaids on, but would not administer any medication unless she had parental consent. The same applied to our nanny, the same applies to SM and my DF.

As for the dosage ... in my case, I'd rather have DD measure the dosage, since she masters the English language, contrary to her SM.

And - as far as I'm aware - in more than 6 years there haven't been any incidents when DD disrespected SM or DF ... or the school nurse, or the nanny.

savingtheworld
by Member on Sep. 22, 2012 at 4:06 PM
Yea..skids wont pick up after there self..an throw a fit if asked to shower brush hair/ teeth they won't even change cloths! My rules are simple! An they respond with mom said we don't have to listen to u an she don't like u any way! I hate coming here! Bc I asked u to take a bath? Then they make phone calls to mom..so she sides with kids, it just makes it worse..an they are even worse the way they talk to there dad.not much punishment bc kids call mom then she calls dad then its a blow up..over taking a bath?
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Pero1
by on Sep. 22, 2012 at 5:10 PM


Quoting savingtheworld:

Yea..skids wont pick up after there self..an throw a fit if asked to shower brush hair/ teeth they won't even change cloths! My rules are simple! An they respond with mom said we don't have to listen to u an she don't like u any way! I hate coming here! Bc I asked u to take a bath? Then they make phone calls to mom..so she sides with kids, it just makes it worse..an they are even worse the way they talk to there dad.not much punishment bc kids call mom then she calls dad then its a blow up..over taking a bath?

Just out of interest ... where is dad in all this in the first place? Why on Earth would you pick up after HIS kids, why on Earth isn't HE the one who asks ... or rather tells .... them to take a shower, brush their teeth etc. etc.? I think that often SM misunderstands the situation ... it isn't so much the fact that her ex-husbands new wife tells her kids whatever, it is the fact that her ex-husband, who should be the one looking after his kids, isn't doing the heavy lifting. Personally (and I don't have this issue, since my ex always looked after DD AND now after SM's kids because she can't be arsed), if BF couldn't or wouldn't want to do whatever is required, then that would be fine ... I would do it myself, and he could take her out for dinner once or twice a week, where the waitress looks after both him and the kid.

savingtheworld
by Member on Sep. 22, 2012 at 7:49 PM
1 mom liked this
No..like I said, at my house my rules! Hygiene is required! An my husband is the one that gets the crap..from kid an bio..just bc they don't have a bed time at bios house or chooses not to give/make kids shower! An I'm sorry but I am not a short order chief, they do not eat any thing unless its junk! I provide 3 meals a day! If u don't like what's on the menu, well sorry..an by the way I always make an alternate!
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CFSTBSM27
by Bronze Member on Sep. 22, 2012 at 8:37 PM
No children should be taught to respect adults regardless of title
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ladybug999111
by on Sep. 22, 2012 at 10:36 PM

depends on what it is. the parent should be doing most things tho.  but if they are not there the step should be listened to still.

Mommy0505
by Silver Member on Sep. 22, 2012 at 10:39 PM

Should a parent tell their child that they don't have to obey their teacher?

packermomof2
by on Sep. 22, 2012 at 11:32 PM


Quoting sidelinesally:


Really? She can't ask SM for an Advil? Who gets it for her if there's no other adult around? Does she help herself and you hope she gets the dosage right? What about a bandaid if she cuts herself? Can SM get one of those for her or does she have to call you first? I think these pidly things are what send the message that SM is an incompetent idiot and can't be trusted to do right by the SK. They are the types of things that set SM up for being disrespected by SKs.

Not really.  My 11 year old gets her own ibuprofen if I leave her here when she is sick (husband works nights and is here but asleep)  and knows to get only one.  Both my kids get their own bandaids unless the wound is quite painful and they need extra help. 

I expect ANY adult who is not the parent to call the parent who knows what is going on with my child before medicating them.  That would be me.  Schools have to make sure the parent is fine with it, friends parents do also... SM is not exception to the medicating of my children. 

That isn't teaching the kids to be disrespectful.  That is teaching the kids that there are not many people who have permission to medicate them no matter what it is.  Even my best friend of years and years (and has known my kids from birth) asks me each and every time before giving my kids anything medicinal... they love her to bits even though she can't make that decision on her own.

KellyReedy
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 1:30 AM

HELL NO!  Cuz if BM did that and they came into my house and didn't obey rules....they'd have to go!  That's no way to teach a child to respect an adult person of any kind!

Pero1
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 3:50 AM


Quoting savingtheworld:

No..like I said, at my house my rules! Hygiene is required! An my husband is the one that gets the crap..from kid an bio..just bc they don't have a bed time at bios house or chooses not to give/make kids shower! An I'm sorry but I am not a short order chief, they do not eat any thing unless its junk! I provide 3 meals a day! If u don't like what's on the menu, well sorry..an by the way I always make an alternate!

Again, isn't that a DH problem that started way before your household came into existance? How did your husband view hygiene during his previous relationship with BM? How about nutrition?

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