Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Where is their mom through all this??

Posted by on Sep. 22, 2012 at 6:48 PM
  • 15 Replies

Im very new on here, but my step parenting issues arent. Im wondering if anyone has input to some frustrations of mine. I have 3 children, two which are in college and one in high school. My husband has four, ages 10, 8, 5 and 3. He hasnt worked in almost 2 years because he constantly has his kids!  picking them up from school, sports, friends, weekends, weekdays, holidays, 5 days a week! His two ex wives are now remarried both employed, big fancy houses with their new men. My husband is struggling to feed them and take them to school. When we first met, he only had them 3 days a week. I feel like theres no room for me in this at all! his ex wives are constantly texting him or at our door. He doesnt have these issues with me as my kids are in college. When I bring up the issue and ask " where are their moms through all this?" he gets mad and things go bad! its a sore subject so I left, my kids are pretty much all grown and I feel that if I have to take on this huge responsibility of taking on his, at least their mothers can pitch in.  

by on Sep. 22, 2012 at 6:48 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Pero1
by on Sep. 22, 2012 at 6:53 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting CaliChic:

I feel that if I have to take on this huge responsibility of taking on his, at least their mothers can pitch in.  

Did they tell you that you "have to take on this huge responsibility of taking on his kids" ... or is that your very personal choice?

chanizen
by Platinum Member on Sep. 22, 2012 at 6:54 PM
I woulda left too. If he has full custody, he should get cs from bm. Especially if he cannot work. 4 kids under 11 is a lot.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
CaliChic
by on Sep. 22, 2012 at 6:58 PM

Thats exactly why I left. When we first met he only had them 3 days a week. He hasnt worked which made me the sole provider and put so much stress on me. He says he cant work because his exes have to and they dont have child care. It just out a huge strain on our relationship, especially knowing that his exes are remarried with 6 bedroom model homes, and he just applied for foodstamps. All i was trying to get across to him was for their mothers to help out some

Pero1
by on Sep. 22, 2012 at 7:26 PM

I have to smile now ... what would the forum have said about a BM with four kids from two different BFs, not working and on foodstamps?

chanizen
by Platinum Member on Sep. 22, 2012 at 7:35 PM
1 mom liked this
Lol. They'd screw her to the wall. Four kids is a lot. We have 4. But one is out of the house. And all parents work.

I do know moms who are unable to work because they have kids in school and one or more is trouble.

Idk, I've worked full time since I was 23. It is really hard sometimes when you have little ones. Grrrr. I worked 60 hours this week and barely slept. Luckily, I can work from home.

But (back on topic and off my pity wagon) this dad needs to either get cs, open a daycare or head on back to work.

Living off sm isn't ok unless she says it is.

:)


Quoting Pero1:

I have to smile now ... what would the forum have said about a BM with four kids from two different BFs, not working and on foodstamps?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
savingtheworld
by Bronze Member on Sep. 22, 2012 at 8:05 PM
Yea its rough..he's dad y does mom have to do it? I'm sure he feels like he needs to support them? Trust me my hubby had to get a new job bc ex wants more money..so now I never see him! He has saved an has put hes oldest in college but now ex wants him to pay the rest? He's 19! An every text or call is money! It's just not there to give! Ex is remarried an tells kids dad is a dead beat!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Sep. 22, 2012 at 8:25 PM


Quoting CaliChic:

Thats exactly why I left. When we first met he only had them 3 days a week. He hasnt worked which made me the sole provider and put so much stress on me. He says he cant work because his exes have to and they dont have child care. It just out a huge strain on our relationship, especially knowing that his exes are remarried with 6 bedroom model homes, and he just applied for foodstamps. All i was trying to get across to him was for their mothers to help out some

I would have left too.  Sounds to me that he's using the kids as an excuse not to work.  I wouldn't put up with that.

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Sep. 22, 2012 at 8:29 PM
2 moms liked this

You ever wonder why he has 2 exes?  I think you're finding out first hand since you're about to be #3!

trebelcleff
by on Sep. 22, 2012 at 8:29 PM
2 moms liked this

If he has them a majority of the time the mothers should be paying child support... if they aren't he should be filing for it... if he's on state aid they might make him file for it (states usually hate paying out if there is something that can be done about child support).  If he is watching them so their moms can work then the moms need to be compensating him because he isn't working so he can watch the kids.  What a mess!  What does the custody arrangement look like (if there is one)

HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Sep. 22, 2012 at 8:31 PM
I have no problem with him being a stay-at-home if - IF - he and SM agreed it was a viable choice for their household and if the BMs both paid support. Some couples believe that a patent should be home with the kids for as long as it is needed and financially viable. However, this is something that should have been discussed with SM and financial plans made long before things became so bad that food stamps were needed.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN