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This is my Life

Posted by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 5:21 PM
  • 23 Replies
I am sorry if I seem negative but the past 4 yars of my life has been dedicated to my step kids and I am about fed up with bull. When my husband now and I got together the boys were 3&4 and their mother was no were to be found, no custody agreement. Then a year after being together I moved in with him, then she started wanting the kids once a month. In Feb. of 2009 the BM went to a psychiatric ward where you must have opiants in your system to be admitted. The weekend she was released she showed up at the house demanding she wanted the children for the weekend. my husband did not let this happen because it felt it was unsafe she offered to let her take the day to her mother's. This was not to her satisfactory, she also noticed this day (which was a Wednesday) that I was wearing an engagement ring. Well then she decided to file for custody Friday. Asking the court to give her every other weekend and one day in between.

Now for a little background.....my husband rides race horses, in the winter horses head south to Florida only a few stay up North mainly Maryland because that's the only place where the track is tended to in the winter

Well winter of 2008 was extremely difficult for my husband and he had explained to me back in spring that he was considering moving if we could go together. So we had decided that in order for us to come together and be able to afford life the best would be to relocate from Maryland to Florida. He had planned on discussing this with the BM but then she had her break down and filed for custody and we weren't sure what to do in regards to telling her.
So we were scheduled to leave November 1st, and we sent her a letter letting her know our new address and when we were leaving and new phone numbers on October 1st. In between this month we received a notice from the court we received a notice we had a court date November 28 so we figured as long as we're returned for this court date we would be ok. We left as planned and 5 days after moving into our home on a Friday the Marion County police showed up at our home with paperwork explaining to pack the children up and that their mother was here with a court order giving her full custody of the children. Needless to say we were crushed. Later we flu d that the way she received emergency custody was by saying we were on a boat sailing to places unknown and she was fearful she would never see her children again. We don't own any boat.
So for the next 6 months we did not see and barely spoke to the boys. The only way we could see the children was to have supervised visits by her or her parents in Maryland. Then we spent the next year in a custody battle up and down the coast for every holiday or time the boys could come back to Florida we met at south of the border exchanged and drove home. My husband only get Sunday off so we often spent 12 straight hours driving.
Last spring my grandmother past away and with the funeral happening so fast and the financial toll the battle was taking on us we were forced to move in 3 days. We packed up what would fit in our two cars put the rest in storage and left. By the way I was 6 months pregnant by now. As soon as we arrived we began a week on week off schedule with the kids. Then last August after my daughter was born we filed for joint custody and in February were granted and relieved of all child support because at this point we we 5000 behind and they w ere threatening to take my husbands license. We had been providing everything for the kids new clothes shoes school supplies glasses everything and paying 600 a month in child support. Thankfully the judge saw that we we trying.

So since February we have had joint custody and She has dumped the kids with us whenever she could without making it look to bad. This past summer out of 8 weeks they spent 2 weeks with her. My recent problem is that my oldest step son has begun to fail 3rd GRADE! My husband has tried to speak with her in regards to doing something different for him with BM but she seems to think things are fine. At the beginning of this year we emailed the teacher and nothing good then asked to have him considered for an IEP well once they decided he needed it and called us and her and sent home the packet to both of us. She then wrote a letter insisting I the step. Other have no right to be involved that I can no longer talk to teachers attend meeting or anything. The principle personally called me at home to let me know this. I was furious. I went to the school and she explained to me about this letter she wrote and this puts them in a bad legal position so if I was to attend the IEP meeting this Friday I cannot speak. I do not understand this. The school is just going on with her. Doesn't seem right? Anyone else have some thoughts on this I know theres a lot and no one will probably even read this but I really need some help staying sane.

Well that's for now. Im tired
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 5:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Ms.Gwen
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 5:29 PM
Why can't your DH handle everything at the IEP meeting?
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Miranda721
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 5:32 PM
They only make the IEP meetings before noon and unfortunatly with horse riding there are no days off no half days no holidays even....and he works most days from 5am until 11am .... This appt. is unfortunatly at 9:15
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Sep. 25, 2012 at 5:49 PM
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Quoting Miranda721:

They only make the IEP meetings before noon and unfortunatly with horse riding there are no days off no half days no holidays even....and he works most days from 5am until 11am .... This appt. is unfortunatly at 9:15

That's a poor excuse.  Can't your DH take a couple hours off of work for the sake of his son???

Miranda721
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 5:52 PM
The horse business doesn't work that way if you aren't there to get on your clients horse they get someone else....there are 2-3 riders ready to take your place at anytime. They go from barn to barn everyday waiting for someone to not show up you get paid by the horse....I have no job I'm a law student so he supports 3kids and me
Ms.Gwen
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 5:55 PM
1 mom liked this
Your DH is at what appears to be a long coming crossroads... He must choose between his career and being a parent. Can't you see that this has been the issue all along? That is in fact why he lost custody! Don't blame BM for not letting you take his place. It is not your place to take.
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Miranda721
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 5:58 PM
We lost custody because she lied he didn't neglect anything and he does stay involved its just on things like this lots of people can't take off work that doesn't make the, bad parents and I think when your married your spouse is an extension of you. If I couldn't take my daughter to her doctors appt my husband would you work around these things.
sidelinesally
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 6:00 PM

DH will have to make the time or the school will have to reschedule the IEP meeting - it really doesn't make sense that it has to be before noon. I don't want to come down hard on you, but it really isn't your place to be at the IEP meeting if BM doesn't want you there - regardless of how much you want to help the child. If your presence is needed by DH, but not accepted by BM, don't fuel the fire and give yourself any unnecessary grief - coach your husband on what needs to be covered before he goes. Good luck - hopefully an IEP will help your SS!

Ms.Gwen
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 6:01 PM
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Sure thing dear. Keep telling yourself that. It's been working SOOOO well for you thus far! Right?


Quoting Miranda721:

We lost custody because she lied he didn't neglect anything and he does stay involved its just on things like this lots of people can't take off work that doesn't make the, bad parents and I think when your married your spouse is an extension of you. If I couldn't take my daughter to her doctors appt my husband would you work around these things.

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Miranda721
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 6:06 PM
Ok i didnt join and put myself put there to be attacked honestly. I apologize if I feel some need to be involved, my husband set the IEP meeting up because my SS progress report shows four fs 3 ds and one c. I have taken the kids to every doctors appt. gotten them glasses bought all school supplies everything BM should do and is more than capable of doing but won't. All I want is to be viewed as an equal. Is that too much to ask?
Miranda721
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 6:07 PM
Considering everything that she says is a lie I think so. My husband is not perfect but he tries.
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