DH has a question for BM's &/or Wives that can help because I can't!
DH has a 3 year old son with the most rude person I have personally ever encountered. He and SS don't have the relationship that they should because of many reasons like distance, mostly him and BM not being able to get along or have a civilized conversation, inability to get visitation at the current moment and a number of other things.
BM shows no interest since I've been in the picture for DH and SS to have a relationship. Before she found out about me it was so peaceful and I witnessed this myself. As sad as it is its true and I don't know her real reason for being so nasty now but there's def been a drastic change.
She complains that DH isn't in SS's life enough and that he comes in and out, he doesn't do anything (he pays child support), etc. After me and her had an argument last year because of her disrespecting my husband, this year for SS's birthday she decided to be the bigger person and say "we're all adults why don't you come to his birthday party"...she gave him all the details and it was in the park which unfortunately was cancelled due to rain so DH called her to meet up with her and SS to give him his birthday gifts which she gave him a hard time about but eventually they came up with a mutual place but it was so hard for us to get there that she had been waiting for us so long to find where she was and find a park that she decided to leave and DH and SS got to see each other all of 15 minutes...smh. It was no one's fault and I understood her wanting to leave because it was hectic. DH suggested maybe he could take the kids to the zoo and she said sure but then when she realized he said kids with an S she said "wait...are you bringing them?...well my birthday is next weekend so i'll have to let you know if im busy or not." (them being me and my daughter) When SS saw DH and didn't know who he was...BM didn't say..."this is your dad" she just stood there. This was also after she told DH SS calls someone else daddy.
After that DH realized he had to do more to let SS know who he was and get familiar with him. So facetime, skype, phone calls and seeing him as much as possible. Which is all fine and great IF AND ONLY IF BM is willing to help and she's not. DH has been calling consistently talking to SS asking him how was school, telling that he's gonna come and see him soon so they can hang out. SS said he wants to go to the movies so everytime they talk DH reminds him that he's gonna take him. He also told him he was his dad since BM wasn't gonna do it. BM NEVER calls DH so he can talk to SS. She prefers he call her and everytime he calls there's an issue, either she's giving SS a bath, reading to him, she's eating or something where he needs to call back in 10-15mins or so. You would think its easier for her to just call him if she knows a particular day she has a lot going on at the time she's told him to call.
BM texted and called DH last night around 11pm as if her house was on fire which pissed DH off when she calls late at night for things that can wait until the next day. Her text said "call me...we have a problem". She starts screaming and cursing about how DH hadn't called SS in a few days and that SS had been asking "where is my daddy?" and saying "I want to go to the movies". So apparently she was angry that he forgot to call SS or either he got off work at a time where he was already sleep. DH asked BM why didn't she just call him if SS was asking about him. Her response is: "That's not my fucking job." as I said before this has been her attitude since I came in the picture and it really makes things hard...she wants to control DH..he doesn't wanna deal with her attitude and I just don't even know what to think.
The reason why I am asking you all's opinion is because I've never been a BM and I know many of you have children with your spouse and also with an ex or you know some crazy BM's. My opinion is just that she's crazy. There may be some reason for a little bit of the madness but I don't know how she expects things to change when she won't. I think its partially her responsibility to help SS remember DH as long as DH is doing his part because since she got pregnant she moved away from DH but she thinks her job is to just be his mother and that has NOTHING to do with DH. It seems like if DH isn't meeting her standard of what a father should be then she's never happy.