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Just a vent/question...

Posted by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 4:06 PM
  • 9 Replies

I have three step children and we recently got custody of my SO's half brother. His brother is 13 and it sure is a challenge raising him. He has not had contact with his BM since he was 5 except for rare letters she sends. Recently she has gone to prison for prostitution for the 8th time and decided to write him. My SO says we should not give him this letter due to the fact that she always makes promises to him and we have to clean up the aftermath and his attitude goes down hill after reading such letters. I am not sure what the correct decision is to make.

My step childrens BM has been hard for me to deal with. When my SO and I got together it was hard for me because she was constantly calling me names and telling the youngest child who was 4 at the time that its ok to call me names such as "bimbo". Recently I confronted her and told her I am in this for the long run and that these children mean the world to me. The kids have recently started telling me that they love me and giving me hugs. I just dont understand why she feels the need to lie to me about little things. Such as... her car not running (when it does), or her fiance being at work and can not bring the kids to meet me half way (when he doesnt have a job). Why is she doing this?

by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 4:06 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Derdriu
by Gold Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 4:15 PM
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Re:  Letter.... Follow your SO's lead.  He knows his half-brother and probably has a better feel for this situation than you do.  Trust him.

Re: BM's lies.... Does it really matter why she lies?  She might  not even have an answer to that question.  If you know she lies, it's enough to just accept she'll have some excuse or another and go with it.  There's no need to argue with her or try to catch her in a lie.  Her issue is her issue, not something you should spent time trying to analyze.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 4:22 PM
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I don't know why she lies to you, but if you stop all communication with her and let your boyfriend handle her, then she can't lie to you anymore. Problem solved.

PINKmyfavcolor
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 1:44 PM

 Exactly.

Quoting whatIknownow:

I don't know why she lies to you, but if you stop all communication with her and let your boyfriend handle her, then she can't lie to you anymore. Problem solved.

 

kellynh
by Kelly on Oct. 4, 2012 at 1:47 PM
Quoting whatIknownow:

I don't know why she lies to you, but if you stop all communication with her and let your boyfriend handle her, then she can't lie to you anymore. Problem solved.




Ditto on the communication.

kkkaaayyyy
by Bronze Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 1:47 PM

As for the letter- If she hasn't seen the child, I would keep that letter in a file cabinet  along with the other fake promises letters for when the child is older and an adult and then possibly give it to them if they ever ask but, I would feel like if it isn't positive information being given and she is not in her right mind there is no reason for that child to get false hopes. It could be more damaging than the child not reading it.  That's just my opinion..

Secondly, she is prob lying to you because she is jealous of your life and she is a miserable person. She obviously has some mental issues if she has been in prison for prostitution 8 times. I would cut of all contact with her and go on with your life and enjoy the time you have with your family.

JacyB
by Bronze Member on Oct. 4, 2012 at 2:01 PM

At 13, you should ask if he wants the letter.

Dont have contact with BM, let your husband deal with her. Don't confront her, no good comes from that. 

ShannaBee
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 6:24 PM
I agree with all these ladies.
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angelmommy2806
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 6:28 PM
Let your SO handle it, both situations. He knows his half brother well enough and there's no reason to talk to the skids Bm.
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mamatothem
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 6:51 PM

I guess I shoved have mentioned that I am the only one that talks to the BM because my SO works for the pipeline and I get the visitation.

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