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DH & I are getting tired of BM....

Posted by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 12:56 PM
  • 44 Replies

not taking care of SD and not acting like she gives two shits.... I am so frustrated right now that I just have to get it out.

Ok, this weekend is BM's weekend, just for clarification.

SD calls me this morning from school. She doesn't sound very good and I ask her what's wrong. She says she is freezing (she's shivering over the phone). She then tells me that she didn't know that when you are that cold and try to eat that you get nauseaus (sp?). I ask her if she's wearing her coat since it's quite cool here this morning. She said no, she called BM and she said she didn't know where it was. (It was a coat that we bought her last year that BM kept at her house after winter). I asked her if BM had bought her a coat to wear (she told my DH that she had bought SD a coat), she told me no. I asked her if she was wearing her hoodies, she said no. That when she talked to BM, BM didn't know where they were at either (she has 2 that we have bought and have ended up at BM's and haven't come back). She told me that she didn't feel well and asked if I could please help her since BM said she wasn't going to go up to the school. I told her of course, I'd be there in a few minutes. I then talked to the school secretary and told her I would be up there.

I got off of the phone and immediately got ahold of my DH. He was furious!! He asked me to go buy SD a coat and take it to the school. I went home, got the medicine, picked SD up a coat and then went to the school. SD was still sooooo cold when I got there. After I had helped her put the coat on and gave her the medicine, she gave me a big bear hug and thanked me for "taking care" of her. It almost made me cry...

Instead when I left, I just got pissed!! Why in the hell won't BM just go up to the school, give SD some medicine for her stomach, and buy the girl a coat or find her coat/hoodie that are already at HER house????

DH is so mad that he said when he gets off work, he's going straight to BM's house and getting together all the clothes and last years coat we have purchased (except the new coat which SD will be wearing) so that we have them at our house for when SD calls me. 

So what do you think he needs to say to BM????? What would you do????

 

by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 12:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:00 PM

To answer your question.. Nothing.


How old is SD?


kkkaaayyyy
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:04 PM

That's really sad that BM isn't properly dressing her child for a cold day. If she had an excuse as to why she couldn't go up to the school, like if she was working and needed someone else to I could understand that, but if she is just lazy and didn't want to that is a major problem.  As for DH going over to BM house and gathering up all the clothing that you guys bought for her, I don't think that would help the situtation. What I think you should do is go out and buy new things for her so when she does call you can bring them to her and have DD bring them back to you when she gets off school so you can  have them. Taking the things from her mothers house wont help that she now will not have ANYTHING if the BM chooses to put her in something warmer.  :/ Tough call.  I hope it all works out for you.  ( Also- You could also contact the school and leave a jacket and a few extra pairs of clothing there for the child to have if the mother doesn't properly dress her..)

taylamill
by Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:04 PM
What he should do is take his daughter and keep her with him. Period. If her mom is more worried about other things then her own child well maybe she just doesn't need the kid. How a parent can act so cold to their own child is just beyond me.
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Ms.Gwen
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:12 PM
1 mom liked this
At what point will you hold this child responsible for dressing herself? SS5 knows to put a coat on when it's cold outside. And all the skids know if they leave something at BMs they will be either living without it or replacing it with thier own money. At some point these kids have got to learn and understand the environment they live in. It sounds like you guys are coddling the girl cause she is a COD. You should be holding her responsible for the lost stuff, having no coat, and dressing herself appropriately for the weather.
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whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:19 PM

what medicine did you give her?

I have never heard that when you are cold and you try to eat, it makes you nauseaus. I have been in the medical field for 20 years. Sounds like an old wives tale to me.

MrsMama030912
by Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:32 PM
How old is this child ??! She should be held accountable for dressing herself. Its one thing if bm doesn't buy these things for her but if sd is of age to dress herself and keep track of her own stuff then I think you should instill these life skills in her
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MomGoingCrazy78
by Lindy Lou on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:44 PM

SD said she put her hoodies in the laundry for BM to wash, she asked BM where they were at. BM said she didn't remember where she put them. The coat is from last year. DH briefly talked to BM and she said "put it up" for the summer and now doesn't remember where she put it. It's not like SD is misplacing these items.

SD has had a major growing spurt this year. She had on jeans and a tshirt when I went to the school. She said her BM told her she didn't have the time or money to take her "winter clothes shopping" yet. She said BM told her that maybe in a month they could go. In a month??? Does she not realize how cold it gets BEFORE November????

Quoting Ms.Gwen:

At what point will you hold this child responsible for dressing herself? SS5 knows to put a coat on when it's cold outside. And all the skids know if they leave something at BMs they will be either living without it or replacing it with thier own money. At some point these kids have got to learn and understand the environment they live in. It sounds like you guys are coddling the girl cause she is a COD. You should be holding her responsible for the lost stuff, having no coat, and dressing herself appropriately for the weather.


MomGoingCrazy78
by Lindy Lou on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:47 PM

Even though DH and BM share 50/50, he still pays CS so BM can actually go out and buy SD at least a couple of items to keep at her house. WE have bought the majority of stuff and it just gets old to constantly have to replace items when DH is paying CS for BM to buy stuff for SD. Kwim?

BM usually just waits for her mom to send a box of clothes to her house when the seasons change. Bad thing about that is Gma lives in another state and doesn't send much and most of the time it doesn't even fit SD.

I have a feeling I will have to go shopping AGAIN this weekend for SD and take some things to BM's house just so SD will have clothes that are season appropriate and fit her.

Quoting kkkaaayyyy:

That's really sad that BM isn't properly dressing her child for a cold day. If she had an excuse as to why she couldn't go up to the school, like if she was working and needed someone else to I could understand that, but if she is just lazy and didn't want to that is a major problem.  As for DH going over to BM house and gathering up all the clothing that you guys bought for her, I don't think that would help the situtation. What I think you should do is go out and buy new things for her so when she does call you can bring them to her and have DD bring them back to you when she gets off school so you can  have them. Taking the things from her mothers house wont help that she now will not have ANYTHING if the BM chooses to put her in something warmer.  :/ Tough call.  I hope it all works out for you.  ( Also- You could also contact the school and leave a jacket and a few extra pairs of clothing there for the child to have if the mother doesn't properly dress her..)


MomGoingCrazy78
by Lindy Lou on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:49 PM

I had never heard of that either, someone at the school must have said it to her. SD has a very sensitive stomach, always has. We have an over the counter nauseau medicine that our docter told us to give her when she feels like that. I buy the generic and it's just called children's nauseau medicine.

Quoting whatIknownow:

what medicine did you give her?

I have never heard that when you are cold and you try to eat, it makes you nauseaus. I have been in the medical field for 20 years. Sounds like an old wives tale to me.


MomGoingCrazy78
by Lindy Lou on Oct. 5, 2012 at 1:52 PM

SD is 10. WE do (as in DH and I) instill life skills in her. The problem at BM's house is that BM is not the most organized person and doesn't put laundry in the same place when it's clean. SD says she can't hardly ever find what she's looking for and BM always tells her she doesn't remember where it's at and she'll look for it "later." So, SD has to dress herself with whatever is in her closet or drawers. If there's not a whole lot in there, then she doesn't have a whole lot of choice. I cannot tell you how many times I've had to take clothes up to the school over the years.

Quoting MrsMama030912:

How old is this child ??! She should be held accountable for dressing herself. Its one thing if bm doesn't buy these things for her but if sd is of age to dress herself and keep track of her own stuff then I think you should instill these life skills in her


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