I gew up in an intact family. mom dad 2 older sisters and a younger brother. My dad was at work usually 16 hr days to support the family. he worked at a prison when he worked normal hours he still was asleep an my mom was always "happy" when he was home.
Growing up we lived in fear of my mother we never knew what she was going to do what was going to set her off or how bad it was going to set her off. she was unperdictable to say the least. I can remember she was mad at the world for something i was maybe 7 she made us all go put on our best clothes to eat dinner. None of us ate dinner that night, we were sure she had poisoned it. She would always tell us how much we ruined her life. Her extreme behaviors are what all 4 of us kids grew up knowing was "normal" behaviors. We all had extreme behaviors like her. when i say extreme i mean EXTREME super angry and super depressed. those were the 2 moods she had and in turn the 2 moods we learned were exceptable nobody taught us different.
when i was 13 one of her "friends' broke into the house and attacked me she blamed me that he wasn't there to be her "friend" anymore. State mandated family therapy. The only thing that came out of it was finding out my mom and older sister were bi-polar. my dad died not long after finding this out. work related. there was no savior from her.
When i got out from under her controll i still didn't have appropriate behaviors or reactions. i struggled a lot in life and had to go to therapy and learn what appropriate reactions were. I had to be re-taught everything basically. I had learned behaviors of someone with mental illness and i thought that was how it was suppose to be.
I share this because i read a lot about how sk's espcially sd's are "just like thier mother". she must have a mental health issue. I just wonder how many people stop and think that maybe they are learned behaviors. Not a mental illness. Don't get me wrong i tried the learned behavior method with sd in my case and the state determined that she has a personality disorder, so i know not all cases are learned. Just thought i would share another side to what could cause a person/child to act out