Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Can anyone explain....

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:01 AM
  • 11 Replies
I have two skids, ss16 and sd11. i have know these kids for almost five years. In that time ss has HATED his sister with passion that no one could understand. He would go out of his way to be mean to her, hit and pinch her, etc. If you ask him why he would just say " she is annoying or she gets all the attention." Neither of course was true. she avoided him as much as possible and we always make sure things are fair.

We put him in counseling but he wouldn't talk about it, we took ss full time last year in part hoping that more time a part would help him tolerate her more and that didn't work. We ended up taking sd full time in August and my fear was ss would think that she again was just getting her way and he wouldn't get the attention he wanted again...


.BUT the funniest thing happened...I come home and they are doing stuff together, nicely, he listens to what she did in school and actually seems to like her now...I am so happy but sooooo confused....why did it take her moving in with us to change things between them? Thoughts?
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:01 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this
I have no idea however I remember being the annoying little sister and getting crap from my brother. I moved away to dad's for 2 years and rarely saw my brother. When I moved back, he was more tolerant of me and I had matured and wasn't so annoying. 20 years later and we are tight like super glue. I think it is just sibling phases.

My kids are 6 years apart. My dd loves her little brother but she can be very mean to him at times. Hits and slaps and pushes and kicks him out of her room with a moments notice. The time she is away at her dad's for the weekend usually helps to curb the fighting for a couple of days. They are loving and play well together but then all of a sudden she is done with him and wants nothing more to do with him. Very frustrating some times and it breaks his heart because he just adores her.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
steffbar
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:23 AM
1 mom liked this

little pre teen hormones probably have something to do w it. I know me and my little brother couldnt stand each other at times. We're only a year apart. And since she's not around all the time he probably realized how much he misses her. 

amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this
My brother and I went through phases of getting along and hating each other.

As adults I couldn't imagine being without him. He's my best friend.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Derdriu
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 12:59 PM
What's the dynamic with BM?

My SD13 can be absolutely wicked toward SS8, yet is also very protective of him. He is BM's favorite kid and will kiss up for extra attention, which irritates SD. I think some of her mistreatment of him is redirected anger she feels toward her mom. But all that aside, I'm sure hormones and teenage effort to exert control and demand respect have something to do with it. SS does know how to push her buttons.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ShannaBee
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:07 PM

Maybe he was being bullied in school and lashed out on her and became a bully to her?

My sisters and I had terrible sibling rivalry. I realized one problem why I was so mean to my younger sister was because she looks so much like our bio dad and his side of the family and I hated it, I hated him, so I lashed out at her. I feel bad and terrible for it but I know that is one of the reasons I was so terrible to my sister.

jessiesluv
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:15 PM

Displaced anger is what it sounds like to me.


Raspberry393
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:23 PM
By age 16 SS has started to develop a sense of others as having some importance more so than themselves- sometimes. It's pretty typical.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
rnmom4lif
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:24 PM
1 mom liked this

no clue. but im glad things are getting better!~

zannahdeux
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:09 AM
Agreed but to what? He never told us and didn't want to work on it in therapy.....sigh


Quoting jessiesluv:

Displaced anger is what it sounds like to me.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
zannahdeux
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:18 AM
I hope this is it... He does seem a little different. We also made him spend the summer with his mom...perhaps he netter appreciated what he was going though living at moms


Quoting Raspberry393:

By age 16 SS has started to develop a sense of others as having some importance more so than themselves- sometimes. It's pretty typical.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)