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positive focus

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:38 PM
  • 9 Replies
So in our history there has been a lot of negative, and a lot of positive in the relationship between BM and myself. At some point I made a choice to focus my energy on the positive stuff, and to learn from the negative then let it go. She has done the same thing. Even though in different circumstances we'd probably not choose to be in each other's life, we are making it work.
I have vented and worried about BM on here and now I want to share a positive about BM.
Recently my SO's sister has been creating some issues between SD and me. BM picked up the phone and apologized to me for SD's rude behavior and to tell me she would not tolerate that behavior because I do so much for SD. I literally cried with gratitude after I for off the phone. Then the next part shocked me. She called SO's sister and told her she needed to stay out of our situation, that I am very much SD's family and if she can't respect that then she'd be extremely limited in access to SD. I just need to add, BM followed through with it too.
What are your BM/SM success stories? Do you give them as much attention and weight as you do the negative ones? This particular one for me is big but there this started with a bunch of smaller ones between us.
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by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:38 PM
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Replies (1-9):
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:00 PM
Wow thats great! My kids got a sm about 9 months ago. I guess the positive is that we havent had any issues thus far.
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by and that's all on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:05 PM
BM told my friend at a party how lucky she and her son were to have me in their lives.. I just found this out on Friday and it happened a few weeks ago.. I was so excited to hear it.
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by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:51 AM

This is wonderful and an inspiration to all

by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:12 AM

There was a situation with MIL taking SS6 every Friday night- one night he was acting up-I couldn't get ahold of DH at work so I called BM-she said she was coming to get him. (I do not physically discipline the skids and nothing else worked)

So BM showed up and then MIL showed up to get SS6 and they went at it (they HATE each other) because MIL was trying to leave with ss6 while BM was here to take him home.

MIL barged into my house-threatening me and my daughterBM got in her face-went OFF on the hag and made her cry and leave.

Later on DH came home from work and went off on me for the incident with his mother-went to BM's to pick SS up and while he was there-BM went off on DH for allowing his mother to have ss so often AGAINST her wishes. (MIL was poisoning ss6 against me and his mother)

That was the last time MIL ever got SS overnight or alone.

by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 11:41 AM
I have nothing nice to share.
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by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:26 AM
Unmarked. I babysit BM's other daughter. Does that count as a positive?
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:39 AM
Things have always been strained between bm and I until recently. I don't know what happened but I'm not going to complain. Bm and I text daily sharing little things about sd and just things in general. We have a lot in common and I actually think we could be friends !!! I like her!!! Whoa... Thinking back at our history that statement feels strange yet good to say and I truly mean it. She was very bitter and a bit nasty the first 3 years. Insignificant things really but she was dealing with a mental health issue and now I understand her behavior.
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by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:07 AM

They both stay out of my way ... that's a success!

by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:16 AM

She is completely out of my life now that SS is 18. That is a positive story.

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