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School picture time.........The order had to be in by tomorrow, BM hasnt been replying to ANY of Js calls, texts, or e-mails about ANYTHING, so I sent her a message through fb (no we're not friends).


Me:  "Hey BM, J has been trying to reach you but hadnt been able to the past 2 weeks.  Im ordering the kids school pictures online tomorrow, is there a specific size you want?  I know your mom told J that she gets a 5x7 and a keychain every year so we put that one in the order but do you want a specific size? please let me know, i need to place the order by tomorrow at 5pm". 

BM:  "Why are you paying for MY SONS SCHOOL PICTURES?  Shouldnt J be paying for it since its not your son?  Just another way that you are trying to take my son from me.  I will order them myself what is the link?"

Me:  "Who is paying for what isnt a big deal, SS, is your and J's son, a school picture doesnt change that.  I'm ordering them together because we get a discount for siblings/families so its cheaper.  And you can only place one online order per family, we already asked them because your mom wanted to order some, thats why were getting them for her.  If you want any please let me or J know by 4pm tomorrow so we can order by 5."

BM:  "What sibling dicount? Your kid and SS arent siblings.  Quit trying to be my kids mom you arent his mom and your kid isnt his sister."

Me:  Not going to argue with you again about this subject, just let me know what pictures you want if you want any.  

BM:  Send me the link so I can order my own you dont need to order pictures of MY SON.



******************************************

Im not replying again.  Im not sending her the link because you can only place one online order per family.  When I called and asked they said its a problem with the system, if we try and send more than one order it will reject it.  At this point im just going to send a couple extras along to BMs mom, and she can share what she chooses with BM.

I know BM is angry and hurt, having recently lost custody of all her kids.  But she hasnt even called SS in 3 weeks.  J has been trying to reach her for the past 2. The last time we heard from her she was mad because we wouldnt pay for her to come here to see him.  She wanted us to pay for her gas, hotel, and food.  No.  We havent heard from her since.  

This is obviously a new experience for me, what would you have done?  

by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 9:44 PM
Replies (11-20):
steffbar
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:25 PM

Your reaching out to her and are trying to be considerate. She's not cooperating. What you decided to do is perfect. If she really wants the pics she'll take the extras you send along. Hopefully next time she'll be willing to work with you guys. 

luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:25 PM


Quoting momof2ex1:

I think you are trying to be too nice. She is being a terdbag. If you feel so inclined to order an extra picture, if it were my kid, I'd like a 5x7 please. And maybe a couple wallets. :) I wouldn't respond either. She's a nut. I'd be happy for you to pay for my kids pictures if you are offering.

LOL 

luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:28 PM

Thanks ladies, I was just trying to see if maybe I should have handled it differently, glad to see the general consensus is that I did ok on this one :-)

Its hard to try and have consideration for someone that I have ZERO respect for, but Im doing my best to remember that POS or not, shes still his mom.  Honestly this feels kind of similar to what I went through learning to not be angry at my ex, it took me a few years but I figured it out, so maybe I'll get to that point with BM too?  maybe?

rebeccasmly
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:30 PM

I think you handled it well and chose wisely not respond anymore. You all are being kind by ordering extra pictures after the comments she made.

Ktina11
by Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:32 PM
You are handling it very well!! Here is a pat-on-the-back for keeping your cool and trying to be the better person! :)


Quoting luckystars2012:

Thanks ladies, I was just trying to see if maybe I should have handled it differently, glad to see the general consensus is that I did ok on this one :-)

Its hard to try and have consideration for someone that I have ZERO respect for, but Im doing my best to remember that POS or not, shes still his mom.  Honestly this feels kind of similar to what I went through learning to not be angry at my ex, it took me a few years but I figured it out, so maybe I'll get to that point with BM too?  maybe?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
2bkayleesmommy
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:36 PM
I'd order 1 8x7 for her and call it a day. She wants copies she can scan them and print any size she wants.

I HATE how some BM's say "ur kid isn't my kid's sibiling" so pathetic! They are! They're step or half sibilings!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
chasinrainbows
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:53 PM
She should be allowed to order on her own. You don't have to order online. You could order through the school and let her order online. It's nice and all what you're doing but BM has got to deal with her loss of custody in her own way.
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Armymom134
by Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:57 PM

 

Quoting luckystars2012:

 

Quoting Armymom134:

 Next time let your DH handle her. At this point I would order the pictures and be done with it.

This is off topic but why did she loose custody?

I usually do, but I was just trying to be nice honestly.  I thought shed wanta picture of her kid, shes not on the greatest terms with her mom, and she wasnt responding to J.

We spent 2 years fighting for J to have his joint custody enforced, after she spent 5 years refusing visitation.  She was in another state and hiding, J was in the military, long story.  Anyhow we got a new order worked out, and shortly after had SS here for a visit, and we saw some REALLY concerning things-shoes two sizes too small, SS talking about the roaches in his bed, crying because he didnt want to go back and BM was going to be mad at him for loving me and his dad and sissy (his stepsis, my dd).  J let the Guardian Ad Litem know, who paid BM a home visit shortly after SS's return to BM.  The conditions of the home were such that SS was immediately removed from the home by the GAL, social services, and police, along with BMs other son who is now with her mother.  

We had a hearing a few weeks later and got permanent custody of SS, BM has supervised visits for now and can work up to unsupervised if she meets certain conditions (like a clean home, job, etc) which so far she hasnt.  

 Wow, poor little man.

luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:04 PM


Quoting chasinrainbows:

She should be allowed to order on her own. You don't have to order online. You could order through the school and let her order online. It's nice and all what you're doing but BM has got to deal with her loss of custody in her own way.


I replied about that possibility on pg 1.....dont want to explain it again, but it wouldnt work out that way either.

And if she wanted to work something like that out she should have let j know in the past two weeks when hes been emailing, calling, and texting her about it instead of ignoring him and then using it as an excuse to be nasty to me.

Aurora-Dove
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:12 PM
Oh ok, probably wouldn't.be.able to get.thwarting family discount that way.though.

Quoting daddysgf:

Not what I meant..

I meant I would order them through the school (almost always thats an option, send in a form etc. etc.).. Not through the online option and let BM have the link to order them herself if she wants them.



Quoting Aurora-Dove:

This. go ahead and place the order then send her the link so she can see for herself. Tell her if she answered her phone every once and a while she might know what is going on in her sons life.





Quoting daddysgf:

I'd order them through the school and send her the link.



And let my SO deal with it.
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