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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

School picture time.........The order had to be in by tomorrow, BM hasnt been replying to ANY of Js calls, texts, or e-mails about ANYTHING, so I sent her a message through fb (no we're not friends).


Me:  "Hey BM, J has been trying to reach you but hadnt been able to the past 2 weeks.  Im ordering the kids school pictures online tomorrow, is there a specific size you want?  I know your mom told J that she gets a 5x7 and a keychain every year so we put that one in the order but do you want a specific size? please let me know, i need to place the order by tomorrow at 5pm". 

BM:  "Why are you paying for MY SONS SCHOOL PICTURES?  Shouldnt J be paying for it since its not your son?  Just another way that you are trying to take my son from me.  I will order them myself what is the link?"

Me:  "Who is paying for what isnt a big deal, SS, is your and J's son, a school picture doesnt change that.  I'm ordering them together because we get a discount for siblings/families so its cheaper.  And you can only place one online order per family, we already asked them because your mom wanted to order some, thats why were getting them for her.  If you want any please let me or J know by 4pm tomorrow so we can order by 5."

BM:  "What sibling dicount? Your kid and SS arent siblings.  Quit trying to be my kids mom you arent his mom and your kid isnt his sister."

Me:  Not going to argue with you again about this subject, just let me know what pictures you want if you want any.  

BM:  Send me the link so I can order my own you dont need to order pictures of MY SON.



******************************************

Im not replying again.  Im not sending her the link because you can only place one online order per family.  When I called and asked they said its a problem with the system, if we try and send more than one order it will reject it.  At this point im just going to send a couple extras along to BMs mom, and she can share what she chooses with BM.

I know BM is angry and hurt, having recently lost custody of all her kids.  But she hasnt even called SS in 3 weeks.  J has been trying to reach her for the past 2. The last time we heard from her she was mad because we wouldnt pay for her to come here to see him.  She wanted us to pay for her gas, hotel, and food.  No.  We havent heard from her since.  

This is obviously a new experience for me, what would you have done?  

by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 9:44 PM
Replies (21-30):
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:27 PM

DH and I have been purchasing SD #1 & #2's pics for the last couple years.  School and swim pics.  In the past, DH scanned the pics and sent 'em over to her digitally.  He figures that if she wants hard copies, she'll call and ask.  This year I told SDs that if mom wanted to split the pack with us, that I'd buy the biggest pack they had and she can pay me back later.  Know what SD #2's response was?  "Yeah, like THAT'S ever gonna happen!" Meaning that if BM got any pics, she's want them for free. Oh well...

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 7:38 AM

J should have just sent her the link in the first place. She probably felt harrassed by all the emails from J and then the PM in facebook from you. Why do you have to be in this woman's face. Leave her alone already.

chasinrainbows
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 7:49 AM
So let J deal with her. She doesn't want to deal with you and if you keep trying to make her (even if you're just being nice), she is going to be nasty to you. Send her the link and let her figure out that she cannot order that way.

Quoting luckystars2012:



Quoting chasinrainbows:

She should be allowed to order on her own. You don't have to order online. You could order through the school and let her order online. It's nice and all what you're doing but BM has got to deal with her loss of custody in her own way.





I replied about that possibility on pg 1.....dont want to explain it again, but it wouldnt work out that way either.

And if she wanted to work something like that out she should have let j know in the past two weeks when hes been emailing, calling, and texting her about it instead of ignoring him and then using it as an excuse to be nasty to me.

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luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:36 AM
Sending a courteous email is hardly being "in her face", but ok. It's the first time I've allowed any contact between bm and myself in over a year. God forbid I thought maybe she'd like a picture of her son. What a terrible person I am.

Sending her the link wouldn't have fixed anything. Even if you order online you still have to put the confirmation number on the form and send it in to the school. The online system is just a means of paying with a card vs a check or money order. And since you can only submit one online order per family, it would have meant that we couldn't use the family discount to get bothkids pictures, and we would have had to go get a money order since we don't use checks, all on the chance that BM might decide to call the school, get a form mailed to her, order online, and mail the form back in. Given that she hasn't even tried to talk to her son in 3 weeks, the chance of her following through ordering online was pretty slim, even if we were willing to go through the added inconvenience of payingmore for the pictures and getting a money order.

The pictures aren't the only reason j has been trying to reach her- her son kind of wanted to talk to his mom the past few weeks.




Quoting whatIknownow:

J should have just sent her the link in the first place. She probably felt harrassed by all the emails from J and then the PM in facebook from you. Why do you have to be in this woman's face. Leave her alone already.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:38 AM
I don't normally deal with her at all. Yesterday was the first time I had any communication with her in over a year. But after we order this evening J is just going to email her the link so she can see for herselfthat it won't work.

And heck even if it would work, the pics don't go to her they come home with the kids.


Quoting chasinrainbows:

So let J deal with her. She doesn't want to deal with you and if you keep trying to make her (even if you're just being nice), she is going to be nasty to you. Send her the link and let her figure out that she cannot order that way.



Quoting luckystars2012:




Quoting chasinrainbows:

She should be allowed to order on her own. You don't have to order online. You could order through the school and let her order online. It's nice and all what you're doing but BM has got to deal with her loss of custody in her own way.








I replied about that possibility on pg 1.....dont want to explain it again, but it wouldnt work out that way either.

And if she wanted to work something like that out she should have let j know in the past two weeks when hes been emailing, calling, and texting her about it instead of ignoring him and then using it as an excuse to be nasty to me.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:39 AM

So then you dial the phone and hand it to her son. No need for multiple PM's about pictures. That was just you trying to be in her face. Leave the woman alone already. She doesnt' want to hear from you. Stop imposing yourself on her. That is so obnoxious. 

Quoting luckystars2012:


The pictures aren't the only reason j has been trying to reach her- her son kind of wanted to talk to his mom the past few weeks. 
luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:54 AM
2 moms liked this
J has done that, ss has left her messages, j has left her messages, etc. The "multiple" PMS from me are a figment of your imagination. The above exchange is the only one I took part in, which hardly qualifies as being "in her face".

Funny how you're the ONLY one here who seems to think I was so far in the wrong.


Quoting whatIknownow:

So then you dial the phone and hand it to her son. No need for multiple PM's about pictures. That was just you trying to be in her face. Leave the woman alone already. She doesnt' want to hear from you. Stop imposing yourself on her. That is so obnoxious. 


Quoting luckystars2012:




The pictures aren't the only reason j has been trying to reach her- her son kind of wanted to talk to his mom the past few weeks. 

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tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:55 AM

I ordered the biggest package and we both got a 8x10 and split the rest.  I never even asked.  When they came in, I gave her the envelope that had the info on it so she can go online and order more if needed.  She seemed happy.   Some peopleare just difficult no matter what you do. 

luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:01 AM
Sadly, yes they are. It just amazes me, we went through all this bs for 2 years while she tried to deny j even having his own parenting time, claiming that he is such a bad person and horrible parent. And now that she's lost custody due to her own shitty parenting she doesn't want anything to do with ss. Unless we pay for everything of course.

Just seems like she only wanted him as long as she was getting money for him.


Quoting tiredmama42:

I ordered the biggest package and we both got a 8x10 and split the rest.  I never even asked.  When they came in, I gave her the envelope that had the info on it so she can go online and order more if needed.  She seemed happy.   Some peopleare just difficult no matter what you do. 


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kellynh
by Kelly on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:01 AM
It was nice of you to want to include her, but timing wise... Probably not the best thing to do. Losing her kids is pretty raw right now, and she might be distancing herself to be protect herself. It's not healthy or fair.

That being said, I'm all for discounts. I'd get a few extra and send them. Good Luck.
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