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School picture time.........The order had to be in by tomorrow, BM hasnt been replying to ANY of Js calls, texts, or e-mails about ANYTHING, so I sent her a message through fb (no we're not friends).


Me:  "Hey BM, J has been trying to reach you but hadnt been able to the past 2 weeks.  Im ordering the kids school pictures online tomorrow, is there a specific size you want?  I know your mom told J that she gets a 5x7 and a keychain every year so we put that one in the order but do you want a specific size? please let me know, i need to place the order by tomorrow at 5pm". 

BM:  "Why are you paying for MY SONS SCHOOL PICTURES?  Shouldnt J be paying for it since its not your son?  Just another way that you are trying to take my son from me.  I will order them myself what is the link?"

Me:  "Who is paying for what isnt a big deal, SS, is your and J's son, a school picture doesnt change that.  I'm ordering them together because we get a discount for siblings/families so its cheaper.  And you can only place one online order per family, we already asked them because your mom wanted to order some, thats why were getting them for her.  If you want any please let me or J know by 4pm tomorrow so we can order by 5."

BM:  "What sibling dicount? Your kid and SS arent siblings.  Quit trying to be my kids mom you arent his mom and your kid isnt his sister."

Me:  Not going to argue with you again about this subject, just let me know what pictures you want if you want any.  

BM:  Send me the link so I can order my own you dont need to order pictures of MY SON.



******************************************

Im not replying again.  Im not sending her the link because you can only place one online order per family.  When I called and asked they said its a problem with the system, if we try and send more than one order it will reject it.  At this point im just going to send a couple extras along to BMs mom, and she can share what she chooses with BM.

I know BM is angry and hurt, having recently lost custody of all her kids.  But she hasnt even called SS in 3 weeks.  J has been trying to reach her for the past 2. The last time we heard from her she was mad because we wouldnt pay for her to come here to see him.  She wanted us to pay for her gas, hotel, and food.  No.  We havent heard from her since.  

This is obviously a new experience for me, what would you have done?  

by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 9:44 PM
Replies (31-40):
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:08 AM
1 mom liked this
I would stay far away from any communication with her. She will not see anything you do as being nice. It will only rub in her face that you are with her children.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:37 AM


Quoting luckystars2012:

Sadly, yes they are. It just amazes me, we went through all this bs for 2 years while she tried to deny j even having his own parenting time, claiming that he is such a bad person and horrible parent. And now that she's lost custody due to her own shitty parenting she doesn't want anything to do with ss. Unless we pay for everything of course.

Just seems like she only wanted him as long as she was getting money for him.


Quoting tiredmama42:

I ordered the biggest package and we both got a 8x10 and split the rest.  I never even asked.  When they came in, I gave her the envelope that had the info on it so she can go online and order more if needed.  She seemed happy.   Some peopleare just difficult no matter what you do. 



My SD is older but its the same situation.  We got custody in June and the BM hasnt had time for her since. Everyone said it was the money thing too.  The only one that hurts is the child.  My SD was going to a dance and I invited the BM and she came.   I dont want her left out of her daughters life. My DH was not thrilled at first but we had plenty of people there so they didnt have to talk much.  You have to love your child more than your hatred for a ex.   The BM said thank you to us both and my SD said her mom thought I was sweet.   My SD was so happy all day it was priceless.  Been years since both her parents were in the same place at the same time and got along.   Those special days, special moments I feel kids really deserve both parents.   My ex dh's ex wife is also my dearest friend.  We raised one whos grown into the most amazing young man and couldnt be more proud of him.   I give you credit for trying, she is angry and sounds like she will blame everyone else before taking responsibility for her own actions. 

BluDog
by Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:58 AM
I would not have contacted her. If she can't call her kids or respond to previous communication regarding the matter it's probably not a priority in her world. I would've given her mom an extra sheet or two to pass along and left it at that. Now I maybe would send the link after you place your order so she can see for herself it won't work and send her mom an extra sheet or two...maybe a wallet and an 8x10 or 5x7. In the future, I would steer clear of contacting her.
ShannaBee
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 11:37 AM
You did all you could do. She is unpleasant!
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ramita
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 11:38 AM
If it were me i wouldnt buy anything extra. If the link accepts the first bought but none after it buy yours and then email her the link. If it just rejects them all then i wouldnt bother with it. And next time if ur dh doesnt get a hold of her or atleast get a response then i'd let it go. You cant be nice to someone who's jus a bitch...anything u do will get thrown back in ur face...
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luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 6:08 PM
The line you made bold is basically what I try to live by when it comes to my own ex, so I get what you're saying. It took me a while to get there with bm, and my ex was pretty horrible. We do ok now though. Most if the time. Lol.

I ordered the pictures today. After I ordered J sent her the link so she could see herself that it wouldn't work. She's called my phone 3x since then, I'm not answering. She can call J to talk to ss or bitch about whatever.


Quoting tiredmama42:



Quoting luckystars2012:

Sadly, yes they are. It just amazes me, we went through all this bs for 2 years while she tried to deny j even having his own parenting time, claiming that he is such a bad person and horrible parent. And now that she's lost custody due to her own shitty parenting she doesn't want anything to do with ss. Unless we pay for everything of course.

Just seems like she only wanted him as long as she was getting money for him.



Quoting tiredmama42:


I ordered the biggest package and we both got a 8x10 and split the rest.  I never even asked.  When they came in, I gave her the envelope that had the info on it so she can go online and order more if needed.  She seemed happy.   Some peopleare just difficult no matter what you do. 




My SD is older but its the same situation.  We got custody in June and the BM hasnt had time for her since. Everyone said it was the money thing too.  The only one that hurts is the child.  My SD was going to a dance and I invited the BM and she came.   I dont want her left out of her daughters life. My DH was not thrilled at first but we had plenty of people there so they didnt have to talk much.  You have to love your child more than your hatred for a ex.   The BM said thank you to us both and my SD said her mom thought I was sweet.   My SD was so happy all day it was priceless.  Been years since both her parents were in the same place at the same time and got along.   Those special days, special moments I feel kids really deserve both parents.   My ex dh's ex wife is also my dearest friend.  We raised one whos grown into the most amazing young man and couldnt be more proud of him.   I give you credit for trying, she is angry and sounds like she will blame everyone else before taking responsibility for her own actions. 


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MomGoingCrazy78
by Lindy Lou on Oct. 8, 2012 at 7:30 PM

I think you did the right thing. You can only do so much, kwim? Just give her whatever sizes are left and if she doesn't like them, then maybe she'll be a little nicer next time and tell you what she wants.

angelmommy2806
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:13 PM

I would Not have sent a message. BM is an adult, if she doesn't respond to your DH in the time given then she's out of luck.

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:45 AM

I wouldnt bother either.  Maybe in more time she will realize she will get a little farther with some honey than tainted vinegar.    I really am thankful most my kids and step kids are older and I am almost past alot of this.  Some of the stuff these BM's and SM's have to deal with is exhausting.  It shouldnt have to be so damn hard.    When I dated and was a single mom there were so many they would not want anything to do with a womans kids.. also when I had the same attitude I didnt want to take on little kids.  I love kids but the thought of all those years dealing with the drama scared the crap out of me.  So when someone steps in and is willing to accept the entire package it takes a hell of a person to do so, not hated by a ex.  Just my view point... Im too old to deal with it..lol

Quoting luckystars2012:

The line you made bold is basically what I try to live by when it comes to my own ex, so I get what you're saying. It took me a while to get there with bm, and my ex was pretty horrible. We do ok now though. Most if the time. Lol.

I ordered the pictures today. After I ordered J sent her the link so she could see herself that it wouldn't work. She's called my phone 3x since then, I'm not answering. She can call J to talk to ss or bitch about whatever.


Quoting tiredmama42:

 


Quoting luckystars2012:

Sadly, yes they are. It just amazes me, we went through all this bs for 2 years while she tried to deny j even having his own parenting time, claiming that he is such a bad person and horrible parent. And now that she's lost custody due to her own shitty parenting she doesn't want anything to do with ss. Unless we pay for everything of course.

Just seems like she only wanted him as long as she was getting money for him.



Quoting tiredmama42:


I ordered the biggest package and we both got a 8x10 and split the rest.  I never even asked.  When they came in, I gave her the envelope that had the info on it so she can go online and order more if needed.  She seemed happy.   Some peopleare just difficult no matter what you do. 




My SD is older but its the same situation.  We got custody in June and the BM hasnt had time for her since. Everyone said it was the money thing too.  The only one that hurts is the child.  My SD was going to a dance and I invited the BM and she came.   I dont want her left out of her daughters life. My DH was not thrilled at first but we had plenty of people there so they didnt have to talk much.  You have to love your child more than your hatred for a ex.   The BM said thank you to us both and my SD said her mom thought I was sweet.   My SD was so happy all day it was priceless.  Been years since both her parents were in the same place at the same time and got along.   Those special days, special moments I feel kids really deserve both parents.   My ex dh's ex wife is also my dearest friend.  We raised one whos grown into the most amazing young man and couldnt be more proud of him.   I give you credit for trying, she is angry and sounds like she will blame everyone else before taking responsibility for her own actions. 



TempestRayne
by Donna on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:51 AM
I don't order any other pics from school but the group pics. So I would not have this problem.
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