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BM phone calls to SO

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:34 PM
  • 22 Replies

 Just wondering if we're alone on this one or not. When BM use to call  (longtime ago) half the time she didn't care if she spoke to dd or not. She spent most of the time trying to tell my SO about her horrible life and how unhappy she is and how her husband doesn't support her and even trying to give him updates on HER kids....He would always rush off the phone and told her he had no interest in talking to her unless it was about dd.
She would even start crying in hysterics about things to him and would talk about their life together way back when. SO would get really uncomfortable and irritated when ever she called and would get me to answer it just so he would have to listen to her. It got to the point where we directed any communication to e-mail unless it was an emergency.

Did any of you have to deal with stuff like that? How did you deal with it?

by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:40 PM

 yes.

BM calls SO and tells him all her business. it used to be to complain about her asshole bf, hes this and that, he said this about you (trying to get SO mad), i hate him, im gonna throw him out, blasa blasa blasa ad nauseum. SO told her "well idc as long as he leaves the kids alone thats your business, ok gotta go" and she NEVER got a clue.

there have been a few occasions where she has tried to make a pass at him using nostalgia. for example as he kisses and hugs the kids she will say "wheres my hug? wheres my kiss? do you still love me?" he says no and dont say this around the kids, gotta go bye.

BM in our case got left. she cheated on him, he tried to work it out with her but she cheated again so he left her. she reacted in anger and acted a fool with custody. she wasnt over him. she knows now that its over but i guess feels overly familiar wioth him even though he continually tells her its not his business and he has to go.

 

 
        
         

E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:45 PM
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yeah, when BM was calling it was kind of like that. She even told her lawyer to tell DH's lawyer to tell me not to answer my own phone...lol. 

It bothered me at 1st only because I felt bad for the kids. It was clear to them that she wanted to talk to dad not them. 

But she doesn't call at all anymore since DH had it put in the CO that any communication between the 2 of them is done through e-mail. Not one e-mail from her, it's been 4 months. 

To answer your question... I left the room. That's how I dealt with it. 

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:47 PM

Bm used to call DH up to ask questions about how to do stuff, like format her chart for a work presentation.  DH went with it at first, but he finally just acted uninterested and he'd just tell her, "I don't know".  Now he handles everything via email...she's the only one that will still call him for stuff.  If the kids are with us, he has them answer the phone and he'll say he's busy if they tell him that she wants to talk to him.  If they aren't with us, he answers (just in case it's about them) but then tells her he doesn't have time to help her with her things (if she's not calling about the girls) and to ask one of her friends to help with whatever it is she has going on.  Then he just hangs up.  She doesn't call any more for her stuff...or at least she hasn't for awhile.

ProudmommyJess
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 2:01 PM
Yes we went through that as well. There would be times when she had the kids and she would call "just to talk". He would tell her that if it wasn't about the kids then he didn't want to talk. She would call to talk about her day, new hair cut, being stressed ect. It was VERY annoying! But thankfully after a while she got the point and stopped calling "just to talk". Since she lost custody she has barely called at all.
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BrandiGra
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 2:11 PM

 Yes. My skids BM is an over sharer. She will tell you she is cramping, started her period, having bouts of diarreah, fighting with her SO because he wants sex all the time and her 'holes' are sore.

She will tell me, SO and the skids.

She has no filter.

DH hates to talk to her and ends up hanging up on her alot. I have worked with the skids on re-directing her and just flat out stating, "Mom, I am not interesting on hearing about that. Can we talk about something else."

Not fun.

Paige03
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 2:14 PM


Quoting BrandiGra:

 Yes. My skids BM is an over sharer. She will tell you she is cramping, started her period, having bouts of diarreah, fighting with her SO because he wants sex all the time and her 'holes' are sore.

She will tell me, SO and the skids.

She has no filter.

DH hates to talk to her and ends up hanging up on her alot. I have worked with the skids on re-directing her and just flat out stating, "Mom, I am not interesting on hearing about that. Can we talk about something else."

Not fun.


OMG!! I LOL'd so hard! I'm sorry I know it's not funny but my god that is extreme over sharing hahaha

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 2:19 PM

BM no longer makes those calls, but she does still try to remind him of their anniversary and other stuff via the kids.  DH is pretty good about shutting down those conversations with a simple reminder that he's moved on with his life.

When DH and I started dating, BM was pretty much absent.  She saw the kids when her mom took them to visit (supervised), and she never called.  It wasn't until he and I got serious and she'd left rehab that the phone calls started.  She would call to tell him how happy and in love she was with some new guy.  Then she'd call back within 24hrs sobbing about how miserable she was, how she still loved him, and begging him to take her back.    There were lots and lots of "I miss you, I love you, let's try again" phone calls.  DH handled these in phases.  In the first phase, he would listen and tell her to move on with her life.  In the second phase, he was annoyed at the calls and would fight with her about bothering him and refusing to move on.  This came to head with him screaming into the phone, "I never loved you," and her calling back about 20 times to scream at him that he was a liar, that she knew he still loved her, and so on and so forth.  It also brought about the third and final phase:  He stopped talking to her all together.  If she called and asked for the kids, he put the kids on the phone.  If she called to talk to him, he hung up.  To this day, 3 years later, he will not give her any of this time or talk to her about anything except the kids.  She got over it and has since remarried.

ShannaBee
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 5:04 PM
Yes BM uses to call about inapropriate things not related to their son.
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jlg12678
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 5:10 PM

My dh dealt with it by ending phone calls immediately when bm got personal. He is not her therapist and there is nothing to discuss when it comes to her personal life.

He now sticks to email for the most part and will not respond to anything that is not necessary/related to the kids.

LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Oct. 8, 2012 at 6:05 PM
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WTF is wrong with people!?! I have never shared tidbits of my personal life with my xh ~ ever. In fact I go to the extreme in protecting my private, personal dealings from him; not cause I'm shady but cause it's not his business!
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