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How to deal with a difficult stepchild?

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My boyfriend has moved in with me and my kids in my home and we have 4 kids between us.  I have 2 girls 16 and 14 and he has 2 girls 14 and 13. His 13 year old is making life extremely hard and I don't know what to do.  She is disrespectful, mean and doesn't care about anyone.  My boyfriend and I are always fighting about her and I don't know what else to do but to have them move out.  I love him and don't want to lose him but we just don't seem to be able to do this together.  I am to strick and he isn't strick at all.  HELP!

by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 5:32 PM
Replies (11-16):
newwife1
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 7:38 PM

When we were in 10th grade MANY years ago my good friend's mom married a guy with 2 kids, the daughter was our age and went to a different school. The daughter was a bitch (for real, even at school they didn't like her). She made life hell for both my friend and her mom.

So my friend's mom took my friend and moved out. They stayed married but for 2 years they lived in different houses because the daughter was a terror. Once she left for college they moved back in together.

This was almost 23 years ago and they are still married to this day:)


sadmom1969
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 7:46 PM

I am so sad because I know that this will never work.  I don't want to lose him but I can't live like this and I know the answer is for them to move.  It's so sad! 

She breaks every house rule every chance she gets.  She doesn't like any of them and lets us all know it every day. She is always looking for ways to make her dad get made at me too.  And he does.  I try to show him what's going on and he can't see it. 

 

Refurbished
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 7:49 PM

I know a couple like that.  They were my neighbors and had teenagers.  They tried to blend his daughter with her daughter and son, and the result was chaos.  They ended up moving into two separate houses but didn't break up.  She lived across the street from me, and every weekend he'd come over and mow her lawn, and when his daughter was at her mom's, he'd stay the weekend.  Once the kids were all out of the house, they sold their two houses and bought another one for themselves.  And now they are very happily married.

Quoting newwife1:

When we were in 10th grade MANY years ago my good friend's mom married a guy with 2 kids, the daughter was our age and went to a different school. The daughter was a bitch (for real, even at school they didn't like her). She made life hell for both my friend and her mom.

So my friend's mom took my friend and moved out. They stayed married but for 2 years they lived in different houses because the daughter was a terror. Once she left for college they moved back in together.

This was almost 23 years ago and they are still married to this day:)



sadmom1969
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 7:53 PM

If he moves out I am done.  This little girl will have gotten what she wanted and I am not staying around so that she can push it in my face that she got her way YET again.  If her dad can't stand up to her and show her the real way of life which is that we don't always get our way then I will just have to move on and find a man that has a real back bone. 

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:23 PM


Quoting sadmom1969:

I am so sad because I know that this will never work.  I don't want to lose him but I can't live like this and I know the answer is for them to move.  It's so sad! 

She breaks every house rule every chance she gets.  She doesn't like any of them and lets us all know it every day. She is always looking for ways to make her dad get made at me too.  And he does.  I try to show him what's going on and he can't see it. 


buy what are these rules she is breaking?

this is actually the third time I have asked.

DDDaysh
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:23 PM

Did she have any say in the house rules?  Studies show that adolecents are more likely to follow rules they have input in.  Considering all the change in her life, it may be a time to re-evaluate rules and see if there's a different way to manage the house.  

Or have them move out.  That may well be the only solution.  The child is showing real signs of emotional trauma and Dad's ignoring it.  

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