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BM's House

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:15 PM
  • 58 Replies

OK.  So I have a question.  Say that your sd (age 6 at the time) asks for pictures of her&her family here (which includes me, sm)  for her to keep in her room at her moms house.  If she herself was given about 40 pictures to choose from, and chose one of her and her dad, one of dad and sm (me), one of all of us, and one of just her dad, would it be reasonable to say that she wants those pictures there, they should stay there?  Or does BM have the right to throw them away?  (not give them back, but get rid of them).  

 

I'd just like some perspective and opinions.  Thanks! :) 

by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsMama030912
by Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:17 PM
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Bm has a right to do whatever she wants in her home. Is it nice or necessary to throw them away? No. But what can you do?
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lovemyfriend
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:18 PM

Ok.  I guess I should rephrase.  You are correct, she has the right to do anything in her own home...I meant...is it reasonable?

Quoting MrsMama030912:

Bm has a right to do whatever she wants in her home. Is it nice or necessary to throw them away? No. But what can you do?


Paige03
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:21 PM

I myself asked BM for pics of her her husband and their children for my sd (5/6 at the time) to hang in her room. Her husband refused to let her provide any. If my sd came home with some back then I would of let them be hung up or displayed in her room in someway.  However if your sending picture although yes your sd should have the right to family photos in her own room a lot of BM has issues with their ex's and their ex's partners. I think you would have to expect them to be thrown out if you didn't have your DH speak to BM before hand.

laughnchica
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:22 PM
I wouldn't say it's reasonable but you can't really stop it, can you? It's a question that i struggle with too. I want to make a scrapbook for my SO's daughter with the pictures of her, her brother and sister and all of us while he js deployed but I believe that BM will just throw it away. All you can do is try though. And eventually someday the kid will either tell the BM to stop getting rid of his/her photos.
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DDDaysh
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:30 PM

I think it would be stupid of BM to throw them away, but since it's her home, she does have that right.  

And the kid would have a right to be pissed about it.  

The SM...  not so much.  Once she lets the pictures out of her sight, she should consider them gone.  

MrsMama030912
by Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:51 PM
Whether or not its reasonable is purely a matter of opinion. You think not, while obviously bm thinks so. I'm guessing. And it also depends on your sitch with the bm. But in all seriousness I would hope a bm would allow their children to have a picture of their dad with their family in their room.


Quoting lovemyfriend:

Ok.  I guess I should rephrase.  You are correct, she has the right to do anything in her own home...I meant...is it reasonable?


Quoting MrsMama030912:

Bm has a right to do whatever she wants in her home. Is it nice or necessary to throw them away? No. But what can you do?



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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:53 PM
1 mom liked this
My dd has a framed photo of her and her dad and a pic of the four of them that is on her memo board. She also has pics of her paternal grandparents and cousins, aunts uncles. Since we were married and I was a part of that family, I have a ton of pictures of his family. I made a Photo book for dd that she has in her room.

They are her family and I am a big enough person that it doesn't bother me to see their faces in her room.
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lovemyfriend
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:57 PM


Quoting MrsMama030912:

Whether or not its reasonable is purely a matter of opinion. You think not, while obviously bm thinks so. I'm guessing. And it also depends on your sitch with the bm. But in all seriousness I would hope a bm would allow their children to have a picture of their dad with their family in their room.


Quoting lovemyfriend:

Ok.  I guess I should rephrase.  You are correct, she has the right to do anything in her own home...I meant...is it reasonable?


Quoting MrsMama030912:

Bm has a right to do whatever she wants in her home. Is it nice or necessary to throw them away? No. But what can you do?

 


In my situation the only picture that was thrown away was the picture of just me and her father.  She chose it.  The rest were kept, even the one of me, her father, and herself.  I guess I can see why she would have an issue with it...it just seems a little immature to let something that petty show through and affect your own child in that way.  What do you think?  I wouldn't do that to my kid.  What would you do?

macbudsmom
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 11:11 PM
I'd rather not have a pic of my ex dh and his new wife in my house but I guess if one of the kids wanted it I would allow it.
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jgirlme
by New Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 11:14 PM
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My Sd's BM send pics of herself, her and her other children, and pics of Sd with them and her husband. My husband hates it and I really don't like it either, but they are her family, too and we need to respect that. I finally went out and bought those big collage frames and my Sd chose a few of her 'other' family, a few of this family, one each of her maternal grandparents, maternal aunt, my mother, and cousins from my side of the family. All in one frame. It kinda weirds me out, but it is hers to do as she likes. I would hope her BM would be as accepting of it if Sd decides she wants to bring pics of us to her BM's house.
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