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Documenting everything?

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:43 PM
  • 16 Replies
How should I do this?
How do you guys document?
What kind of things should be documented? And what would come across as "petty."

I thought about just starting a journal and dating all the incidents and encounters with a description. Do things like that matter in court?
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by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:51 PM

Document things that go against the CO or that can be hurtful to the child. Things that are said that are threatening or PAS. Never use the terms I think or I feel.

koprince
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:55 PM

I doument everyday. You just never know what can be inportant in court.

laughnchica
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:02 PM
We try to only discuss things they text or email so we have a paper trail. Recently we told BM that we would be recording phone calls from her since she refused to stop talking crap about SO to his daughter. Amazingly it worked and she has stopped talking shit for now but we still record everything. Just in case. A lot of people keep journals though and just document every account by date and time. It it's against the CO, it's not petty.
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SimplyLoula
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:02 PM

I keep a calendar physical calendar, a digital calendar and a journal.  I think you really just need one, though.  I'm just a bit ocd, lol.

When the OP has the child, write it down.  Same for when you have them.  Keep an exact schedule and make sure to keep track of any changes requested by you or the other parent.  If you talk about the child and agree to anything not in the CO, write it down in the journal even if the OP doesn't put anything in writing.  

I always write down any "events" or "dramatic moments" that happen and in minute detail because I know BF will lie about them.  That's why I have a calendar and a journal because I write a lot.

I think that a lot of times if you have specific dates and times in regards to a lot of things, the court will listen to that a lot more than a vague description like "well, they said this sometime that week, not sure exactly what day..."

Petty is "they gave me a dirty look."

More important might be "In front of DD the OP called me a B**** and a c*** right before they went to punch me..."


Derdriu
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:18 PM
Petty is if you don't have detailed records and rely on verbal argument instead. Keep record of the facts.

Keep a detailed journal. Save texts and emails, and record phone calls if you can. School and medical records an also be useful of dealing with excess absences or physical neglect. You can also obtain sworn affidavits from individuals who may have witnessed abuse/neglect.
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daddysgf
by and that's all on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:26 PM
We use Cozi.
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jessiesluv
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:51 PM

I documented everything in the beginning. Not much of it was used except dates & texts. Things that occur, if it's not between you and the other person are hearsay.

Sunivondea
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:52 PM
Do you think it's too late to document things that happened a few months ago? I remember the dates and times exactly.

Quoting SimplyLoula:

I keep a calendar physical calendar, a digital calendar and a journal.  I think you really just need one, though.  I'm just a bit ocd, lol.

When the OP has the child, write it down.  Same for when you have them.  Keep an exact schedule and make sure to keep track of any changes requested by you or the other parent.  If you talk about the child and agree to anything not in the CO, write it down in the journal even if the OP doesn't put anything in writing.  

I always write down any "events" or "dramatic moments" that happen and in minute detail because I know BF will lie about them.  That's why I have a calendar and a journal because I write a lot.

I think that a lot of times if you have specific dates and times in regards to a lot of things, the court will listen to that a lot more than a vague description like "well, they said this sometime that week, not sure exactly what day..."

Petty is "they gave me a dirty look."

More important might be "In front of DD the OP called me a B**** and a c*** right before they went to punch me..."


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jessiesluv
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:56 PM

You can't use hearsay in court.

For example..

"The kids didn't do their homework when they were with bm."

Judge/lawyer: "How do you know?"

"They told me".


That won't go.. it has to be

"Because I had to help them finish it."


See the difference? All the he said/she said stuff really doesn't hold up.

Sunivondea
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:56 PM
I'll be doing the writing but dh is the one telling me what to write. And I'm better with dates and grammar. His handwriting is unreadable. Lol

Will this look overbearing if it's in my writing? I'll be writing from his point of view.


Quoting jessiesluv:

I documented everything in the beginning. Not much of it was used except dates & texts. Things that occur, if it's not between you and the other person are hearsay.

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