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Sticking it to bm.

Posted by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 8:11 PM
  • 32 Replies
9 moms liked this

Earlier on in my SM journey, I was like a lot of newer SMs.

If bm was pressing for dh to do x,y,z, I wanted to stick it to her and make her follow the CO to a T.

Things she was CO'ed to do, she wouldnt. She wouldn't call dh like she was supposed to if the kiddos were sick and needed to go to the dr, she would call after the fact. She wouldn't share info with dh they brought home from school. She wouldn't have them at EC's. She would have kids call and tell dh to come get them even though she was responsible for all transportation.

The list goes on.

I would get pissed. I would get upset. She was treating my dh like crap, so why should we do anything nice for her??!

That would cause me to nag dh to say this or that to her, or make her stick to the CO.

But guess what? You can't make the other parent do squat.

Now that I look back, I realize all the time I wasted nagging, upset and pissed off at bm.

Some things aren't worth fighting over ladies.

She may be the most evil person on the planet, but you don't have to be.

Just my soapbox sermon for the day. lol


by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 8:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Manda12702
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 8:53 PM
2 moms liked this

 So your advice is to roll over and let BM call all the shots because you can't change her? Might as well let her continue to walk all over our DH's and now our lives just because she wants to? Not sure I get your point.

KellyReedy
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 8:55 PM
1 mom liked this

NICELY PUT!  We now just bitch to each other about bm and pick up her pieces!

Blend in!

KellyReedy
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 8:56 PM
2 moms liked this

No, I don't see it being this way.  There's just some things that aren't worth the excesive trouble you can do nothing about!

Quoting Manda12702:

 So your advice is to roll over and let BM call all the shots because you can't change her? Might as well let her continue to walk all over our DH's and now our lives just because she wants to? Not sure I get your point.


boysmom5
by Bronze Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:04 PM
Sometimes ya do have to pick your battles and let the little stuff go. Sometimes BM come to their senses. DH got a call today from skids BM saying she knows she can't deal with them even on the occasional weekend and they are better off with us. I kinda felt bad for her.
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jessiesluv
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:09 PM
3 moms liked this

Nope, not saying to roll over and let bm call the shots.

I'm saying pick your battles. Is 10 miles more really going to kill you? Is bm not calling you before she takes the kids to the dr important? (In some cases yes, but not all the time.)

There are more important things to spend time and energy on than fighting over a pick up/drop off spot.

Quoting Manda12702:

 So your advice is to roll over and let BM call all the shots because you can't change her? Might as well let her continue to walk all over our DH's and now our lives just because she wants to? Not sure I get your point.


PROGENITOR
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:24 PM

no, some things you have to let go...and hopefully the other side realizes this, too.

CKuse
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:25 PM
When it becomes a competition or power struggle between the parents its ultimately the children who lose.
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angelmommy2806
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:28 PM

Yep pick your battles. This is something I've had to learn and at times biting my tongue hurts, Bad.

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:41 PM
4 moms liked this

sometimes you really are better off just walking away.....saves ya bail money and the need for alibis!

ShannaBee
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:24 AM

thank you for sharing

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