Earlier on in my SM journey, I was like a lot of newer SMs.
If bm was pressing for dh to do x,y,z, I wanted to stick it to her and make her follow the CO to a T.
Things she was CO'ed to do, she wouldnt. She wouldn't call dh like she was supposed to if the kiddos were sick and needed to go to the dr, she would call after the fact. She wouldn't share info with dh they brought home from school. She wouldn't have them at EC's. She would have kids call and tell dh to come get them even though she was responsible for all transportation.
The list goes on.
I would get pissed. I would get upset. She was treating my dh like crap, so why should we do anything nice for her??!
That would cause me to nag dh to say this or that to her, or make her stick to the CO.
But guess what? You can't make the other parent do squat.
Now that I look back, I realize all the time I wasted nagging, upset and pissed off at bm.
Some things aren't worth fighting over ladies.
She may be the most evil person on the planet, but you don't have to be.
Just my soapbox sermon for the day. lol