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Fiance's Ex Wife is nuts!!!! Please Help before I go nuts!!!

Posted by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 7:41 PM
  • 8 Replies

Since day one that she went over to her ex husband my current fiance home to pick up her boys and saw my picture on his tv stand.....Our lives were headed down a very long road of frustration, and anger. Its been a consistant road of child allienation, control, verbal abuse on what she thinks of the kids dad as a father.

We have a bleanded family. I have 2 kids and so does he. Our kids get along great. His youngest boy of 5 is great when he is with us but when we pick him up she coddels him so bad that we end up waiting 20 min before we can get him in the car. As soon as he gets out of her sight you would think nothing ever happened. Hes laughing and playing. Up until she calls and has him crying on the phone. We have no choice in this...she got the courts to agree that she gets an open line of communication with the boys while at our house.

Any suggestion on how to deal with all the negative vibes she consitanly sends our way.

by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 7:41 PM
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Replies (1-8):
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Oct. 12, 2012 at 7:44 PM
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He's 5, and he misses his mother.  If that's the worst that she does, you should thank your lucky stars.  He'll eventually grow out of it.

babygir4638
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 7:48 PM
1 mom liked this

It ahs nothing to do with that. I respect all aspects of their relationship with their mom...as a mom myself I wld never step over the boundries of disrespecting their mom. If I felt she did this only for the true simple fact of mommy love......Then Great. She uses her childeren for her own self satisfaction to get back at her ex husband

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Oct. 12, 2012 at 7:54 PM


Quoting babygir4638:

It ahs nothing to do with that. I respect all aspects of their relationship with their mom...as a mom myself I wld never step over the boundries of disrespecting their mom. If I felt she did this only for the true simple fact of mommy love......Then Great. She uses her childeren for her own self satisfaction to get back at her ex husband

Join the club, sister.  Been there, done that with the BM in my situtation.  About all you can do is take care of your stuff in your home.  You can't control what BM does when the kid is with you, especially if she has an open line of communication with him.  He'll probably get tired of being babied by her sooner or later.  Kids eventually figure it out without us having to point it out to them.  Just tell him that you're sorry and you understand that you miss your mom, but WE'RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN RIGHT NOW!!!!  Distract him with a game or something.

Anyway, it's not for you to say that she's doing it to irritate you or your DH, that could be the way she shows she loves him and she might miss him just as much as he misses her...some folks are juvenile that way.

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Oct. 12, 2012 at 7:58 PM
3 moms liked this


Quoting babygir4638:

It ahs nothing to do with that. I respect all aspects of their relationship with their mom...as a mom myself I wld never step over the boundries of disrespecting their mom. If I felt she did this only for the true simple fact of mommy love......Then Great. She uses her childeren for her own self satisfaction to get back at her ex husband

Then someone needs to tell your BM that the best revenge is no revenge at all.  Living life to the fullest, doing waaaaay better without him, and looking DAMN FINER NOW than when she was with him is the way to get the ex's goat! LMAO

My ex HATES me btw.  Because I did just that. ;-) LOL

Emyles
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 8:24 PM
Open line of communication does not mean she has to talk to him for an hour.. Try and put a limit on the phone calls. Like Sandeeyo said ss is 5yr and he will grow out of it, distract him so him won't want to stay on the phone with her that long!
Good Luck
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dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:28 AM
1 mom liked this
Lol that's good advice ;) it really is the best way to get to guys- convince them they're missing out! :)
DF's ex missed the memo. Every time his friends comment on how trashy she looks now, he feels that he has to try to swears convince me that she wasn't as bad when they were married.
As for doing better without him- the guy shes now married to has been off house arrest for almost one year and got fired as a dishwasher. (The Jeffersons theme song is going through my head right now..... Moooooving on up! Lol)

My personal motto- living well is the best revenge


Quoting sandeeyo:



Quoting babygir4638:

It ahs nothing to do with that. I respect all aspects of their relationship with their mom...as a mom myself I wld never step over the boundries of disrespecting their mom. If I felt she did this only for the true simple fact of mommy love......Then Great. She uses her childeren for her own self satisfaction to get back at her ex husband

Then someone needs to tell your BM that the best revenge is no revenge at all.  Living life to the fullest, doing waaaaay better without him, and looking DAMN FINER NOW than when she was with him is the way to get the ex's goat! LMAO

My ex HATES me btw.  Because I did just that. ;-) LOL

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Mommyof5247
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 12:45 PM

I'm sorry about your situation. Sadly, there's not a lot you can do other than focus on your home & life & try to ignore her as best you can.

My DH's xwife is a total fruit loop. She has pulled some amazing crap & after 3 years, I've learned to laugh much of it off...it helps that she's been legally restricted & we don't have to do exchanges with her directly anymore.

But the court order states "regular phone calls with the off-duty parent" (DH has custody). So BM was calling everyday, multiple times a day & not just to talk to the kids, she wanted to talk to DH more than the kids. We didn't answer every time. She brought the phone calls up in court many times, the judge says as long as we along her to talk sometimes, it doesn't have to be daily or every other day. She finally laid off & talks to the kids 2x a week & no longer on our weekends. It's nice even though it's taken 3yrs to get here.

She's going to use her children to get to you & DH, especially since she gets a reaction.

SAHM BM of DS17, DD14, DD20mos., Baby due 2013 & CSM of SD6 & SS4

ShannaBee
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 2:37 PM

I feel for you! The first time BM found out about me she said, "this isn't going to work for me." Ummm. Then came the harassment, She started by sending DH text mesages calling me fat, a cunt, stupid, and accusing me of keeping him from his son (he got his son for EVERY visitation offered, it was BM that would not let him see his son once I came along. She would often tell DH that he'd never see his son again and to get otu of his life). Then she found my profile on Myspace and started bullying me personally instead of through DH. Things got bad.

So I feel for you. I really do! (((hugs)))

Ignore her. That's the only thing you can do.

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