How and who decides that 50/50 is best for a child? Taking all harsh feelings/ fault for split out of the picture how is this decided?
Is it just because that is what is fair, we each created 1/2 the child, so we each get 1/2 the time?
Having equal time makes the parents equal parents?
Having equal time makes the child equally close to each parent?
What if both parents don't agree, not out of anger/ resentment, but because one parent honestly does not believe that it is in the best interest of the child?
My DH is a great dad to our DS, we both work full time and spend roughly the same amount of time each day with DS, we take turns doing daily tasks for DS, and I will admit that DH is "funner" than I am. But DS is closer to me. When he is hurt or sick he doesn't want DH, he will only go to me. I am the one he brings his book to each night, he will not sleep until I have read his gross alphabet book, not as in fighting sleep, as in has stayed up screaming the entire night the last time I went out of town. If DH and I are sitting together on the couch DS will always come sit in my lap first. It's "Mama" he is yelling as soon as he wakes up.
DH and I have discussed it b/c both of us are extremely close to our mothers, I come from a split family, DH comes from a traditional family. I did not choose 50/50 as a child and I don't regret it. DH has said that he would have hated 50/50, he would have chosen to stay with his mom. We both agree that 50/50 is not for our son at this point, that might change as DS gets older.
But what happens if we end badly and DH changes his mind and wants 50/50? I married someone with the same beliefs I have, that a young child should have one primary home, if DH changed his mind am I obligated to follow suit?