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As a BM on this board...what drives you crazy to see an SM post? And as an SM how about BM posts that ruffle your feathers?

This post might be feeding the drama llama but it will only be an interesting topic if you're honest!
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by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 7:41 PM
Replies (21-30):
Derdriu
by Gold Member on Oct. 25, 2012 at 8:40 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm not a BM, but as a wife and CSM, it really frustrates me when SMs complain about all the favors they do for BM. You did not marry BM. You did not vow to honor or obey BM. You are your husband's helper, and his children are his children 24/7/364, regardless of whose house they're at. Quit confusing helping him with his kids for some form of favor to BM.
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AmyB118
by NA Rocks on Oct. 25, 2012 at 8:42 PM
2 moms liked this


Quoting ProudmommyJess:

I find it upsetting when SM's who do everything for the skids (this only applies to CSM) and are told that because they aren't "mom" they shouldn't try to play the "mom role", that they are no different than a babysitter. I am a SM who does the "mom things", BM is only allowed 2hrs per week supervised visit (she was a no show for the visits so far). I am a daughter who grew up with a SM, and she is the woman that raised me. I know that no amount of love a SM has for a child will ever replace a BM, and I don't think it should, but I think the CSM's who step up and are in the "mom role" shouldn't be discredited.

That really wasn't what the post was about, was it?  I DO find it annoying when SMs feel the need to scream from the highest mountain that they are aaahhhhhhh-mazing and should be considered Mom since they do MOM things.  I do MOM things for DD's friends but it doesn't make me their mom....

packermomof2
by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 8:42 PM

It annoys me most, as a mom, to see that a Sm should be seen as a mom or mom figure because she does "mom things"

After that, and in no particular order: "I love them like my own", "why isn't mom looking out for the best interest of her child" (normally in the same post that you find out that mom just isn't doing what SM wants or thinks is best), the victims (I didn't know what mom was like or "you can't help who you fall in love with"... you most certainly can if you don't date a man with kids), the ones who think they equal to the parents, the "what rights do I have to other people's kids", and when mom is "crazy" and wrong and bitter and insecure and all sorts of other insults just because she doesn't feel Sm needs to be uber involved.

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Oct. 25, 2012 at 8:42 PM


Quoting AmyB118:


Quoting ProudmommyJess:

I find it upsetting when SM's who do everything for the skids (this only applies to CSM) and are told that because they aren't "mom" they shouldn't try to play the "mom role", that they are no different than a babysitter. I am a SM who does the "mom things", BM is only allowed 2hrs per week supervised visit (she was a no show for the visits so far). I am a daughter who grew up with a SM, and she is the woman that raised me. I know that no amount of love a SM has for a child will ever replace a BM, and I don't think it should, but I think the CSM's who step up and are in the "mom role" shouldn't be discredited.

That really wasn't what the post was about, was it?  I DO find it annoying when SMs feel the need to scream from the highest mountain that they are aaahhhhhhh-mazing and should be considered Mom since they do MOM things.  I do MOM things for DD's friends but it doesn't make me their mom....

You must be doing it wrong.....

sunshinedaisy75
by Bronze Member on Oct. 25, 2012 at 8:43 PM
I meant vice versa as in what drives SMs crazy to hear from BMs as well


Quoting whatIknownow:



Quoting dukegirl01:

Yeah, that pic is great! But, first why are BM' s responding on " stepmom central"? Yes, I understand some of us ( as myself ) are also bms but, this is a group set up to talk about the STEPMOM side of things!

Because she asked the question to BM's. Most of us are SMs and BMs. But this particular poster asked people to think about the question from the BM side. Even as a SM, it is helpful to keep a balance of perspective.


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runinpinkshoes
by Silver Member on Oct. 25, 2012 at 8:45 PM
3 moms liked this

I agree with proudmommyjess, and to answer your question, whatIknownow, by equal adult, I meant equal caregiver or something along those lines. I don't expect the kind of unconditional love that is automatically granted to a bio parent. I know gaining my SKs trust and closeness is something I will always need to strive for and never be able to take for granted. And I know it will never come close to what they feel for their real mom. But I feel confident that my presence does not take away from, nor in any way diminish, what they feel for their mom. 

My ideal situation would simply be that, in a scenario where I am caring for the kids, making them dinner, taking them to school, and spending time with them, that I would be acknowledged as a member of the family, and not just a visiting friend.

I don't know anyone who would say that being a SM is an ideal situation. I would love it if I had my own kids, and had the comfort that comes along with that kind of bond. But I don't, so I am just trying to make the best of the situation and fit in as well as I can in a family that existed long before I came into the picture.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Oct. 25, 2012 at 8:45 PM
3 moms liked this


Quoting packermomof2:

After that, and in no particular order: "I love them like my own", "

I absolutely HATE the SMs who say they love them like their own, but as soon as the child is disrespectful (like all teenagers are) or prefers mom to SM, the SM turns her back on the kid and wants nothing more to do with him.

Those SMs are nothing more than posers. And posers suck.

liltigersmom
by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 8:45 PM
They're funny, but I also don't take them seriously.

But fun to poke at.


Quoting whatIknownow:



Quoting liltigersmom:

The whiners, let me bitch, I don't want any help, but I want to complain. Than they make a million posts about it.



Those posts are just funny, admit it.

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AmyB118
by NA Rocks on Oct. 25, 2012 at 8:46 PM


Quoting WifeyC:


Quoting AmyB118:


Quoting ProudmommyJess:

I find it upsetting when SM's who do everything for the skids (this only applies to CSM) and are told that because they aren't "mom" they shouldn't try to play the "mom role", that they are no different than a babysitter. I am a SM who does the "mom things", BM is only allowed 2hrs per week supervised visit (she was a no show for the visits so far). I am a daughter who grew up with a SM, and she is the woman that raised me. I know that no amount of love a SM has for a child will ever replace a BM, and I don't think it should, but I think the CSM's who step up and are in the "mom role" shouldn't be discredited.

That really wasn't what the post was about, was it?  I DO find it annoying when SMs feel the need to scream from the highest mountain that they are aaahhhhhhh-mazing and should be considered Mom since they do MOM things.  I do MOM things for DD's friends but it doesn't make me their mom....

You must be doing it wrong.....

Apparently....cuz SSs don't want to call me MOM...just Amy....maybe I'm not "good enough"...or maybe BM says bad things about me.....sigh.

leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Oct. 25, 2012 at 8:46 PM
4 moms liked this
I hate when BMs post blaming SMs for things that are clearly BF's responsibility.
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