My stepmom hates me and I really don't know why. On the rare occasions I used to call my father she wold delete my messages. I've only met her a few times (my parents divorced when I was inmiddle school, I'm in my 20's now).
It wouldn't nomally bother me because I'm not very close to my father (purely due to his own dumb life decisions) but I felt she acted really inappropriately at my grandfather's 80th birthday party. Though they've been together off and on for about five years they aren't married so my grandfather referred to her as my father's special friend (I really don't think he meant anything by it) while toasting everyone. She apparently decided that dring the dinne rin front of everyone was the place to voice her displeasure, and somehow I got the blame for her being referred to as a special friend.
1. I don't get why I'm being blamed for this, we barely speak, I don't know her, I really have no interest in my father's personal life
2. Maybe the family would react morewarmly to her if she didn't get drunk at an old man's bday party and cause a scene
I don't feel its fair that family gatherings should be made awkward for me because of her, whatever situation she has with my father or grandparents has nothing to with me.
Should I explain to her I don't care? Should I say something to my grandparents about her presence 9wouldn't that jstify her hatred???)