I joined this forum because I wanted some support from other women who are SM's. At first I was a bit skeptical and kinda hung back...just read a bunch of posts before I started posting comments. I found overall that many of the SM's on here are truly trying to get and give advice. Lord knows at some point in time we've all needed some guidance. Some advice has been good, some maybe not as helpful. I've also seen a number of posts where there's been a tremendous amount of venting. Venting is typically the first step on the road to change. Venting is like the release valve...until the tension and frustration gets out it's almost impossible to really look at a situation with a calm, rational, and reasonable perspective.
I truly believe that almost every member of this forum has the goal of trying to do what's in the best interest of the kids (bio and step). It's hard to be a BM, and it's just as hard to be a SM. Many of us struggle with what to do, or how to make things more functional for everyone involved. What did or didn't work for me may help someone else. That doesn't mean that I'm right or that you (plural) are wrong. Every situation is different, no two are the same, just like snowflakes. Some SM's have a great situation and haven't (yet) dealt with some of the more unpleasant aspects of step-parenting. Some SM's have had a really tough go of it. Some SM's overstep, yes that's true. But there are some BM's that are unreasonable. Who are we to judge? Only God can judge us. We don't live the life someone else does. We only live our own. Recognize and respect the differences, that's how we as role models grow and become better. Just because I don't agree with someone else's opinion doesn't give me the right to call her names, or be hateful.
Fact: there are some members who have many years of experience, some don't. There are some members who love to stir the pot, others don't. Some members like to bash and trash, some don't. Some have really good advice, some don't. I see way to much anger and animonisty which detracts from the purpose of this forum....to help all of us find a way to handle our issues being a SM
So, ladies please....can we try to remember that the majority of us are really trying to do the right thing? It's about the kids...bio and step. It's about trying to keep a marriage together in the face of all the drama and angst. Do we really want to perpetuate all the name calling and wishing certain members would leave? How is that helping anyone, let alone ourselves? How is that demonstrating mature, reasonable, rational adult behavior? Let's try to work together for the sake of all these kids!