Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

OMG!!! Ladies, please.......

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 11:37 AM
  • 14 Replies
5 moms liked this

I joined this forum because I wanted some support from other women who are SM's.  At first I was a bit skeptical and kinda hung back...just read a bunch of posts before I started posting comments.  I found overall that many of the SM's on here are truly trying to get and give advice.  Lord knows at some point in time we've all needed some guidance.  Some advice has been good, some maybe not as helpful.  I've also seen a number of posts where there's been a tremendous amount of venting.  Venting is typically the first step on the road to change.  Venting is like the release valve...until the tension and frustration gets out it's almost impossible to really look at a situation with a calm, rational, and reasonable perspective. 

I truly believe that almost every member of this forum has the goal of trying to do what's in the best interest of the kids (bio and step).  It's hard to be a BM, and it's just as hard to be a SM.  Many of us struggle with what to do, or how to make things more functional for everyone involved.  What did or didn't work for me may help someone else.  That doesn't mean that I'm right or that you (plural) are wrong.  Every situation is different, no two are the same, just like snowflakes.  Some SM's have a great situation and haven't (yet) dealt with some of the more unpleasant aspects of step-parenting.  Some SM's have had a really tough go of it.  Some SM's overstep, yes that's true.  But there are some BM's that are unreasonable.  Who are we to judge?  Only God can judge us.  We don't live the life someone else does.  We only live our own.  Recognize and respect the differences, that's how we as role models grow and become better.  Just because I don't agree with someone else's opinion doesn't give me the right to call her names, or be hateful. 

Fact:  there are some members who have many years of experience, some don't.  There are some members who love to stir the pot, others don't.  Some members like to bash and trash, some don't.  Some have really good advice, some don't.  I see way to much anger and animonisty which detracts from the purpose of this forum....to help all of us find a way to handle our issues being a SM

So, ladies please....can we try to remember that the majority of us are really trying to do the right thing?  It's about the kids...bio and step.  It's about trying to keep a marriage together in the face of all the drama and angst.  Do we really want to perpetuate all the name calling and wishing certain members would leave?  How is that helping anyone, let alone ourselves?   How is that demonstrating mature, reasonable, rational adult behavior?  Let's try to work together for the sake of all these kids!

by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 11:37 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
SammyJK
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 12:38 PM
OMG! Were there not enough posts with this jist already?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Nov. 12, 2012 at 12:40 PM

why not just ignore the posts that don't apply to you, or don't interest you?


SammyJK
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 12:43 PM
Well then we wouldnt have 4 million repitive posts! Gawd get with it wikn!

Quoting whatIknownow:

why not just ignore the posts that don't apply to you, or don't interest you?


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Nov. 12, 2012 at 12:51 PM

oh I know. These drama posts are actually really good for Cafemom's business. 

Quoting SammyJK:

Well then we wouldnt have 4 million repitive posts! Gawd get with it wikn!

Quoting whatIknownow:

why not just ignore the posts that don't apply to you, or don't interest you?



sassy711
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 1:47 PM
2 moms liked this

OK...well ladies, I was only trying to get everyone to acknowledge that trash n bash, sarcasm, selective editing, and name calling really serves no purpose on this forum and truly undermines the goal of this group.  While I respectfully disagree with your points of view and opinions, I do acknowledge your right to voice them. 

TempestRayne
by Donna on Nov. 12, 2012 at 1:53 PM
Ain't it the truth?


Quoting whatIknownow:

oh I know. These drama posts are actually really good for Cafemom's business. 


Quoting SammyJK:

Well then we wouldnt have 4 million repitive posts! Gawd get with it wikn!



Quoting whatIknownow:

why not just ignore the posts that don't apply to you, or don't interest you?




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Nov. 12, 2012 at 2:39 PM
3 moms liked this

I think you'll notice that the "trash and bash" only gets out of control when certain "fly by nights" hit the forum, spend a couple days egging everyone on with their hatred, picking on the "old timers" here because maybe they got their feelings hurt at one point or another (or called out on their shit), and then leave again for another month or so. 

Other than that bit of monthly nonsense, this forum is pretty much what you'd expect from an open forum, lots of debate, lots of different opinions, maybe an argument here or there, etc.

chasinrainbows
by Gold Member on Nov. 12, 2012 at 2:59 PM
1 mom liked this
Geesh! How many of these whiny post am I going to be tricked into reading?!? There should be a rule thatt requires all whiny posts to so state in the TITLE.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Nov. 12, 2012 at 3:12 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting chasinrainbows:

Geesh! How many of these whiny post am I going to be tricked into reading?!? There should be a rule thatt requires all whiny posts to so state in the TITLE.

Sadly I am memorized by it today. Not many people are posting anything else. I have already cleaned kitchen from lunch. Done laundry. DD and DSS are napping.

This is my only source of amusement today.popcorn

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children. Do you understand? ~The Crow

sassy711
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 3:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think it was whiny, but that's my opinion, your opinion differs. Should I post negative comments about you because you disagreed with me?  No.  I respect your right to your opinion and I expect others to have the same respect for me.   I put that post up to remind everyone why we're here.  There is always going to be differences of opinion. There is always going to be a certain level of arguements that occur.  That's fine, but sometimes it just goes to far.   I believe in common courtesy and respect for others.  We're all adults here and we should try to observe some sense of civillity.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)