Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Need input/advice/opinions, PLEASE!!

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 9:39 PM
  • 23 Replies
This is a way too long story, so I'll give the short version but would be happy to answer any questions. My DH and I have legal guardianship of my DH's daughter's baby boy (less than a year old). We took guardianship because she is mentally ill (on and off meds), living in a mutually abusive relationship (emotional and physical, not the baby's father), their house is filthy and not livable, and the baby was underweight and his doctor was about to contact CPS. His mom has supervised visitation, which we try to limit to our home, for obvious reasons. She doesn't seem very in tune with the baby, or is just lazy, because we constantly have to tell her when he needs a bottle, food, diaper change, etc. She is content to just let him cry or just to hold and try to soothe him, which doesn't work if they have a need that needs to be met. If we intercede and do what needs to be done, she gets upset. NOW, here is the problem I need advice about. She and HER mother want to take the baby several states away for a couple of days to see a friend. I have a HUGE problem with that. For one, we can't be sure that he is going to have his needs taken care of while he's with them. Secondly, this is going to be a "partying" kind of situation and her mother drinks and drives all the time. Doesn't see anything wrong with it. Thirdly, stepD and her mom fight ALL THE TIME -- screaming, physical fights. I can just see them on a multi-hour car drive getting into a fight and wrecking the car. The two of them are peas in a pod. They don't want the responsibility of the baby, but they want to be there for the milestones and holidays and love to show him off to people. So, am I overreacting to them wanting to take the baby out of state?
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 9:39 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
fancypantswife
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 9:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Dont let the baby go with them!!!!

MommySabs
by Gold Member on Nov. 12, 2012 at 9:50 PM
2 moms liked this
I would NOT let them take the baby! She can't even have visitation with her child unsupervised she should not be entrusted with this baby's care for days.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Nov. 12, 2012 at 9:50 PM
5 moms liked this

Why are you even asking???? I'd say HELL NO.

michelledavis
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 10:06 PM
1 mom liked this
You need clarification for some reason. You already know the answer and the correct one at that. Basically this is YOUR child. I do not see any parent sending their child of with some lunatic in an abusive relationship and unstable mother times 2. This child would be put into harms way double the amount. Some may think that her being with the child will bring them closer or make her take some responsibility, but they would be WRONG. There is no reason to play with the child's life like that. I would say your answer was no when you were very first presented with the idea and I would say that is an answer you need to stick with. BM has supervised visits for a reason, good luck.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
becc123
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 10:07 PM
Im asking to get confirmation for myself that I have legit concerns and am not just being "a bitch." She can see the baby if we or her mom are with her. But I even get nervous durning the few hours they have him sometimes on a weekend. MY own mother was very overprotective, to the point of being smothering, and I always told myself I would not be like that. But I just feel like this situation is over the top, and they shouldn't even be putting us in this situation by asking.
MommySabs
by Gold Member on Nov. 12, 2012 at 10:11 PM
2 moms liked this
Does the sd's bm have any sort of custody or guardianship of the baby? I don't think you are being 'the bitch'. And if you are the legal guardian that is your child to care for you get to make that call.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
becc123
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 10:23 PM
Quoting MommySabs:

Does the sd's bm have any sort of custody or guardianship of the baby? I don't think you are being 'the bitch'. And if you are the legal guardian that is your child to care for you get to make that call.



Just my DH and I are the legal guardians, but she was also listed in the court order as having rights to visitation.
Charli627
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 10:28 PM
No
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
rocknmom85
by Silver Member on Nov. 12, 2012 at 10:35 PM

Your feelings are justified and you hve the right to say NO, go with your gut, this does not sound smart.

michelledavis
by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 10:37 PM
I never meant to insinuate you being "the Bitch" I am sorry if I did, but honestly you have every right to be. You are responsible for a life. The court trusted you and your DH when they gave you custody. Like I sd before she has supervised visits for a reason and the BM's mom doesn't seem fit to be the supervisor.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN