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Why do some bms have to.

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Be so ridiculous? I am at the end if my rope I can't stand her. She makes no sense and is hurting her child and my SS. She won't let DH see SS because its not convenient for her. She said she doesn't consider DH in any of her decisions or when making plans. And then only offers DH to see SS on days he works all day until 10pm. So basically she is making it impossible to see SS and when he asks for him on his day off he says no we made plans we are going to watch a movie that night. Or no he's out of school so I made plans. It's not true and she has him 24/7. Cant she watch a movie the next night? why does she hve to be such a bitch Why does this bm not want her child to have a relationship with his father. I'm so sick of this. I can't wait to go to court. She is just trying to control DH and make his life as miserable as possible. It's really sick to use a 5 year old as a pawn to get back at your ex boyfriend/ baby daddy. This is the second week in a row as has withheld him.
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by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 10:28 AM
Replies (21-30):
nena8790
by Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this

 Sounds like my ss mom. She is totally like this too. If it was up to her she would completely take my husbands son away from him altogether. I feel how you feel and it makes me so mad that every time they go to court she gets what she wants. They have a visitation schedule and everything but she always finds a way to get it tweeked so that she can cut his visits short. She uses my ss to get back at my husband because she knows that thats what will cut him deep. I hate seeing my husband suffer because all he wants is to see his son. My husband loves him very much and would die for him. It's funny though because when it comes to taking more money she is right there willing to except it yet she wont give him more time to spend with his son, not even 1 min extra. It's only what can benefit her and her situation. I personally hate the bitch with a passion, she is an evil ass person, but what ever. I know that 1 day she will get hers.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 1:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Would you consider editing your post?

Asking "why do some BMs have to be so ridiculous" is insulting to BMs. can you imagine the ruckus if a post started with "why do some SMs have to be so insecure?" 

Why not say "why does my stepchildren's mother have to be so ridiculous" or "why does my husband's ex-wife have to be so ridiculous?" that way it is clear you are speaking about one particular woman, and not suggesting that "ridiculous" is a trait associated with being a BM.

The behavior you're describing is egregious, and I am sure you are not suggesting that it is typical of BMs.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 2:03 PM


Quoting AmyB118:

Quoting MRLAdy:


if she left SS with BF how does she have custody? Why didn't he get a CO then?

I am curious about this too.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 2:06 PM


Quoting MRLAdy:
She is just trying to control DH and make his life as miserable as possible. It's really sick to use a 5 year old as a pawn to get back at your ex boyfriend/ baby daddy. This is the second week in a row as has withheld him.

I don't see her actions as trying to get back at BF. It seems she doesn't want her son to have a relationship with his father for some reason. But I don't see why that would be retaliatory. 

Like the others, I am baffled as to why there is no CO.

Does he pay child support?

Tracylynn100
by Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 2:49 PM

Many times when the parents were never married there is no co concerning visitation, only child support.  In our case the bm used threats of raising cs to make him do what she wanted.  She didn't answer the phone if she didn't want to let her go, etc......she is old enough now she just calls and comes over and there is a co just in case.  Another thought is my husband wasn't as good about requesting time as he should have been but expected her to give whenever he wanted.  I do see where that was probably frustrating for her.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 2:52 PM
1 mom liked this

It is up to the father to file a motion for visitation. If he doesn't do so, then BM holds all the cards, and she can allow visitation at her discretion.

Quoting Tracylynn100:

Many times when the parents were never married there is no co concerning visitation, only child support.


FresshAir
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 2:59 PM

This. 

Quoting whatIknownow:

It is up to the father to file a motion for visitation. If he doesn't do so, then BM holds all the cards, and she can allow visitation at her discretion.

Quoting Tracylynn100:

Many times when the parents were never married there is no co concerning visitation, only child support.

 


AmyB118
by NA Rocks on Nov. 13, 2012 at 3:13 PM
Quoting Tracylynn100:

Many times when the parents were never married there is no co concerning visitation, only child support.  In our case the bm used threats of raising cs to make him do what she wanted.  She didn't answer the phone if she didn't want to let her go, etc......she is old enough now she just calls and comes over and there is a co just in case.  Another thought is my husband wasn't as good about requesting time as he should have been but expected her to give whenever he wanted.  I do see where that was probably frustrating for her.




That has no bearing on a CO. There should always be one. Saves everyone a lot of headache. My CO is very specific. Says I have sole legal and sole physical and BF has supervised visits which he screwed up way back when she was 6. She's now 14. DHs CO is very vague. Says BM has custody and he gets liberal visitation. They always worked it out.

I'm very glad, especially since I've been on cm, that I've had no SM drama in my life. I wouldn't have been a fun BM to have. Especially for a sm who wanted to be hands on. I'm not a hands on SM.
MRLAdy
by Bronze Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 3:15 PM
Yes he does pay child support. No order because she would sometimes let DH see him and while SS was living with him there was no problems. Neither ever had the money to do go to court. But it got to the point that it didn't matter how much it cost it was worth it. Bm always gave just enough to keep it out of court. But she has just played games and DH doesn't want to deal with her so much anymore. She is definitely trying to get back at him she is always bad mouthing him and calling him names.


Quoting whatIknownow:



Quoting MRLAdy:
She is just trying to control DH and make his life as miserable as possible. It's really sick to use a 5 year old as a pawn to get back at your ex boyfriend/ baby daddy. This is the second week in a row as has withheld him.

I don't see her actions as trying to get back at BF. It seems she doesn't want her son to have a relationship with his father for some reason. But I don't see why that would be retaliatory. 

Like the others, I am baffled as to why there is no CO.

Does he pay child support?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MRLAdy
by Bronze Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 3:17 PM
He did over 3 months ago.


Quoting whatIknownow:

It is up to the father to file a motion for visitation. If he doesn't do so, then BM holds all the cards, and she can allow visitation at her discretion.


Quoting Tracylynn100:

Many times when the parents were never married there is no co concerning visitation, only child support.



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