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old timers..........

Posted by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:21 PM
  • 94 Replies
2 moms liked this

 And, I'm not just talking about time logged into CM.

It seems as though the women who have had the most time logged in as a SM have been the women most targeted as Bullies, mean people, bitter.

Do some not realize that we have already lived through it?

Do you still wipe your ass with the wisdom of what other women have to tell you?

Do you think you are so unique that your story just doesnt apply?

Well, you are wrong. Some things are universal. They are repetitive.

So.....if you cant realize it, we hear your stories.......we can.

Why make mistakes if you dont have to?

 

by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
yesmaam
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:35 PM
3 moms liked this

 I've only been a SM for going on 7 yrs, not long in comparison. But I will say I've learned the most from many of you "old timers" on how to handle, or not handle DH/BM drama ;) So thank you, and this is an important post.

ProudmommyJess
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:39 PM
7 moms liked this

Maybe they are targeted as bullies because they come across as know-it-all's. Obviously they know more about their particular situation and have some good advice about how to deal with situations others may have not encountered, but that doesn't make them an expert on everyone's step parent life. Sometimes the advice sounds more like "this is what you are doing is wrong" then "have you tried this instead? It might work better". If you are offering advice then give advice, dont pretend to be an expert in someone elses situations.

E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:41 PM
1 mom liked this

 I've been a SM for 7 years too. :)

I agree with everything you said. I wish I would have found this place 7 yrs ago. My list of mistakes wouldn't be a list.

Quoting yesmaam:

 I've only been a SM for going on 7 yrs, not long in comparison. But I will say I've learned the most from many of you "old timers" on how to handle, or not handle DH/BM drama ;) So thank you, and this is an important post.

 

yesmaam
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:42 PM

 It's no wonder many SMs don't make it very long, if you can't take honesty or constructive criticism, or hell even a little tough love from someone you don't know at all I guess its pointless anyways then right?

Quoting ProudmommyJess:

Maybe they are targeted as bullies because they come across as know-it-all's. Obviously they know more about their particular situation and have some good advice about how to deal with situations others may have not encountered, but that doesn't make them an expert on everyone's step parent life. Sometimes the advice sounds more like "this is what you are doing is wrong" then "have you tried this instead? It might work better". If you are offering advice then give advice, dont pretend to be an expert in someone elses situations.

 

You call me a bitch like it's a bad thing

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:42 PM
1 mom liked this

 With comes age comes experience.

SammyJK
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:45 PM
Im not sure how long ive been here. Can yal see that somewhere?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
SammyJK
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:48 PM
That is the God's honest truth ladies! Im only (almost) 29, been married 7 yrs, am sm (csm and ncsm), biomom, former "bm', and all.that good shit. If you asked me what my opinions were 4,5...10 years ago, youd have heard a bunch of "i know it all BULLSHIT"! Ive grown enough now that i can admit that.

Quoting baparrot2:

 With comes age comes experience.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:50 PM

  i get it. i have been in single moms forever and some of the stories are the same o same o over and over again and i admit i have gotten impatient. i do try to not respond in kind though. some people have open ears and some dont, i try to gauge that.

ginamom512
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:55 PM

I agree with all of this.

Quoting ProudmommyJess:

Maybe they are targeted as bullies because they come across as know-it-all's. Obviously they know more about their particular situation and have some good advice about how to deal with situations others may have not encountered, but that doesn't make them an expert on everyone's step parent life. Sometimes the advice sounds more like "this is what you are doing is wrong" then "have you tried this instead? It might work better". If you are offering advice then give advice, dont pretend to be an expert in someone elses situations.


pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:58 PM
1 mom liked this

I must be so wise I resemble the Buddha, Jesus and Einstein all wrapped up in one hot old lady.

I'm 50.  Mom for 19 years.  SM for 4 years.

And please take this in a loving way, because you do seem wise, but you are a baby.  It is all relative though, isn't it?  You have grown in your journey.  I wasn't even a mom at 29. 

But one thing is the same, if you had talked to me 4 years ago, I would have been a focused out blaming angry hurt SM.  

Quoting SammyJK:

That is the God's honest truth ladies! Im only (almost) 29, been married 7 yrs, am sm (csm and ncsm), biomom, former "bm', and all.that good shit. If you asked me what my opinions were 4,5...10 years ago, youd have heard a bunch of "i know it all BULLSHIT"! Ive grown enough now that i can admit that.

Quoting baparrot2:

 With comes age comes experience.


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