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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Do you think this is weird?

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:48 PM
  • 14 Replies

Conversation, not a problem...I just want to get others opinions. 

I went to my step sisters wedding last night (it was so much fun and she looked beautiful).  My two bio sisters live in oregon and california so they flew/drove in for the wedding along with their fiance/boyfriend.  After the ceremony the photographer was taking pictures with the family.  The bride/groom and then all of their family.  My bio sisters and I were not included in any of these pictures.  It seemed kind of strange to me.  If I did that at my wedding my step mom for sure would say something to my dad and he'd call me and tell me something along the lines of "Don't tell sm but it really hurt her feelings and you need to apologize". 

I'm not upset about it because its not my wedding, but I was just wondering what your thoughts on the protocol of wedding/step wedding pictures are.  It just felt like...we weren't even an afterthought, but if my sisters or I did that ... my dad would be pissed.  But they can do that kind of stuff to us. 

Thoughts?

by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
runinpinkshoes
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:06 PM

I think it would depend on the kind of relationship you have with your step sister, but my first thought in reading your post is that it was weird to not include you and your sisters in the picture, particularly since your dad would think it was weird if the situation was reversed.

I have 5 step siblings, and they've been my siblings for 28 years so I think of them like my own. I also think of my step parents like parents. So any family pictures would involve everyone, and it would be far more strange and awkward to leave someone out of a picture.

SammyJK
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:15 PM
Yeah, i think it depends on the relationship between all of you.
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needsupport100
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:34 PM

depends on relationship, my step sister wouldn't even get an invite let alone be in the pictures.. hell right now, my own brother wouldn't be invited

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:37 PM

I think it depends on the relationship between the siblings. My older sister (technically my step-sister) didn't invite me to either of her weddings. But, we don't have a close relationship. She's cut ties with our dad, and all of our family (our younger 2 siblings as well)/ She's crazy, and we don't talk much. She didn't come to my wedding either though, but if she had, I'd have definitely included her in the pictures. 

lovemyfriend
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:43 PM

honestly I don't think it was my step sister deliberately not having us in the picture.  We're close enough that like I said before, if I had done that, my dad would be upset...but he doesn't care if his wifes kids do those things to us...maybe he just holds us to a higher standard...:)  Either way...beautiful wedding!

LittleMama2012
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:35 PM
Maybe he does hold you to a higher standard. It depends on the relationship. But also I think k for them to travel to come, they would be included. I guess it was just one of those things. At least u were there for her and had a good time


Quoting lovemyfriend:

honestly I don't think it was my step sister deliberately not having us in the picture.  We're close enough that like I said before, if I had done that, my dad would be upset...but he doesn't care if his wifes kids do those things to us...maybe he just holds us to a higher standard...:)  Either way...beautiful wedding!


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Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:21 AM
Are you or you sister offended at all?
Would you're step sister have been offended in the reverse or just your SM?
Eh maybe your dad will be giving her a call without letting you know. Or maybe he knows you aren't offended


Quoting lovemyfriend:

honestly I don't think it was my step sister deliberately not having us in the picture.  We're close enough that like I said before, if I had done that, my dad would be upset...but he doesn't care if his wifes kids do those things to us...maybe he just holds us to a higher standard...:)  Either way...beautiful wedding!

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lovemyfriend
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:31 AM

In all honesty, no.  Neither of my sisters nor I were offended.  I don't know if my step sister(s) would have been...I think I was just a little surprised.  Also, I don't think my step sister actually knew...she was too focused on having fun on her day.  I just wanted to see what other peoples adult step lives were like.  mine has been...interesting... :)

Quoting Polkadotted:

Are you or you sister offended at all?
Would you're step sister have been offended in the reverse or just your SM?
Eh maybe your dad will be giving her a call without letting you know. Or maybe he knows you aren't offended


Quoting lovemyfriend:

honestly I don't think it was my step sister deliberately not having us in the picture.  We're close enough that like I said before, if I had done that, my dad would be upset...but he doesn't care if his wifes kids do those things to us...maybe he just holds us to a higher standard...:)  Either way...beautiful wedding!


lovemyfriend
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:40 AM

well...it was weird also because my dad was involved in all the pictures, and he even did a "2nd" first dad dance with her.  And...they're not THAT close.  Don't get me wrong it was really sweet and didn't bother me at all...but...if he is going to be THAT involved you'd think you'd care about his daughters feeling as they are part of his "new" family, too.  I'm not trying to come off rude, I don't think my step sister cared / thought about it, I'm just trying to get a feel for adult blended families.  I think its really cool that you and your step siblings feel like bios.  I hope that my sd feels like her half brother (my son) is her bio.  Because she lives with her mom 5 days out of every week she's more used to having her brother from her moms 2nd marriage(they're in the process of divoring) there, so when she talks about her brother its always her moms other child.  When she talks about her dads other child its "Kallan".  (his name).  Not  bad thing, just...something to get used to! :)  She's a great big sister.  Thanks for your reply.  Its late here, i'm a little rambly.

Quoting runinpinkshoes:

I think it would depend on the kind of relationship you have with your step sister, but my first thought in reading your post is that it was weird to not include you and your sisters in the picture, particularly since your dad would think it was weird if the situation was reversed.

I have 5 step siblings, and they've been my siblings for 28 years so I think of them like my own. I also think of my step parents like parents. So any family pictures would involve everyone, and it would be far more strange and awkward to leave someone out of a picture.


AtillaTheHun
by facta, non verba on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:44 AM

It would hurt my feelings, I gotta say that. It would probably cross my mind that this is a clear statement that I am not considered "family." This being said, that would make a few people less on the invitation list of MY wedding. 

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