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Do you think this is weird?

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Conversation, not a problem...I just want to get others opinions. 

I went to my step sisters wedding last night (it was so much fun and she looked beautiful).  My two bio sisters live in oregon and california so they flew/drove in for the wedding along with their fiance/boyfriend.  After the ceremony the photographer was taking pictures with the family.  The bride/groom and then all of their family.  My bio sisters and I were not included in any of these pictures.  It seemed kind of strange to me.  If I did that at my wedding my step mom for sure would say something to my dad and he'd call me and tell me something along the lines of "Don't tell sm but it really hurt her feelings and you need to apologize". 

I'm not upset about it because its not my wedding, but I was just wondering what your thoughts on the protocol of wedding/step wedding pictures are.  It just felt like...we weren't even an afterthought, but if my sisters or I did that ... my dad would be pissed.  But they can do that kind of stuff to us. 


by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:48 PM
Replies (11-14):
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:01 AM

How long has your dad been married to your stepmom?

It does seem strange that he would do a second dad dance but not saying anything about you and your sisters not being in the family picture.

As for your SD calling her mom's son her brother but your son by his name, that would make me wonder how she sees each sibling relationship too. On the one hand it makes sense because she spends more time at her mom's, but on the other hand, the relationships to the brothers are the same. This isn't a situation I have any experience with, but maybe there are things you could do to encourage a closer sibling relationship between the two kids when she is with you? 

Quoting lovemyfriend: was weird also because my dad was involved in all the pictures, and he even did a "2nd" first dad dance with her.  And...they're not THAT close.  Don't get me wrong it was really sweet and didn't bother me at all...but...if he is going to be THAT involved you'd think you'd care about his daughters feeling as they are part of his "new" family, too.  I'm not trying to come off rude, I don't think my step sister cared / thought about it, I'm just trying to get a feel for adult blended families.  I think its really cool that you and your step siblings feel like bios.  I hope that my sd feels like her half brother (my son) is her bio.  Because she lives with her mom 5 days out of every week she's more used to having her brother from her moms 2nd marriage(they're in the process of divoring) there, so when she talks about her brother its always her moms other child.  When she talks about her dads other child its "Kallan".  (his name).  Not  bad thing, just...something to get used to! :)  She's a great big sister.  Thanks for your reply.  Its late here, i'm a little rambly.

by Le Bonjour Chat on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:15 AM

As far as I'm concerned, if I'm not paying for it in some way, my skids can exclude me from all the pictures they want (but I know that's not going to happen).  lol 

The same thought would go for if I had step sisters or a step family.  It's the bride and grooms big day and ultimately they'll be the ones that have to look at the pics.  It's weird that she'd exclude you, but maybe she only had so much time and so many poses so she had to cut some pics in order to have others taken.  *shrug*

by Ruby Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 4:34 PM

 i have three half sisters. same dad, different mom. they are a lot older than us, and my dad did not ahve a great relationship w their mom after the divorce. as a result they were not that close to us. i dont think they hated us but werent close. but i blame my dad. my dad is nuts lol. he was an alcoholic for a long time and did not go into recovery until i was 6 years old and was a jerk to his first wife, and  he kept us away from his fam for the most part for some reason. probably beause my mom was a lot younger and from poor irish catholic stock, my grandmother never approved of her and never did anything grandmotherly for us, while she was a full hands on grandma to my dads older daughters.

i didnt know any of this until i was older because i wasnt around dads fam much and honestly wasnt a very observant kid. so it kinda sucks but it is what it is. i see my half sisters rarely but i get along with them and all. 

once as an adult, i was visiting the half sisters and got a migraine so i fell asleep. i heard one of my half sisters tell her kid i was "grampa terry's other daughter". i thought it would make more sense for her to say i was her half sister and sort of felt taken aback she didnt see me as her half sister but oh well, what can i do? 

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 4:40 PM

Quoting lovemyfriend:

honestly I don't think it was my step sister deliberately not having us in the picture.  We're close enough that like I said before, if I had done that, my dad would be upset...but he doesn't care if his wifes kids do those things to us...maybe he just holds us to a higher standard...:)  Either way...beautiful wedding!

I think you nailed it in the head, your dad probably does hold you to higher standards. And that is a blessing. Could it have been something to do with who was paying the photographer in the blended situation? Could there been a specific number of groupings allowed and did someone other than the bride choose the groupings and just truly accidentally forget your guys. I will admit if my daughter were getting married that could happen with their dad and his kids. I wouldn't do it intentionally but to us they are out of sight out of mind ya know.

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