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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Kinda hating the stepparenting thing

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:02 PM
  • 86 Replies
3 moms liked this

  I just dont know what to do anymore... Im 25 and a full time student. I have a 4 year relationship with a 39 yr old. He has three girls...7,9, and 11. I take care of the girls all the time. They wont do anything but play mind games with the dad, trying to start fights between us. And no matter how hard I try or how much I love him- I always get the shit end of the stick! I have no friends, and I feel all alone here.  I feel like the only step parent that actually hates being one. But its not always supposed to be this hard is it? I just dont know what to do... AAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!   I see all the women who say that they love their stepchildren so much... it makes me feel horrible. Am I the only stepmom who wishes the other parent would get custody?

by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AtillaTheHun
by facta, non verba on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:06 PM
1 mom liked this

What kind of mind games are they playing? The most important thing is that your partner realizes what is going on, which means you should sit down with him and tell him exactly how you feel and why. I am not saying for him to pick sides but he needs to lay down some ground rules with his children. He is the parent, he needs to make them mind the rules in your house, and if need be make them deal with the consequences if they do not follow the rules or try to cause problems. 

nikkiblueeyes87
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:15 PM

 Mind games being that they cry to him saying Im so mean (( because I caught them in lies)) so he picks them up and yells at me, and they smile at me behind his back!!! He is 200 percent on their side no matter what.. They cant do any wrong.. everything is my fault.. I have begged him to lay ground rules.. But he allows them to disrespect me as long as they dont do him that way.

E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:22 PM
6 moms liked this

 Disengage or leave.

 

nikkiblueeyes87
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:37 PM

disengage?

Troubleswife
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:47 PM
9 moms liked this
You are young and have so many good years ahead. I hate to say it but I'd leave. This is a hard road and is likely not choose it under your circumstances.
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Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:50 PM
11 moms liked this

Dude, I may get some flack for this, but  he shouldn't let his kids treat his girl friend/wife like that. Hell, he shouldn't be letting his kids treat ANY adult like that.

I would put my foot down about it, either he makes his kids respectful, or I walk. 

E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:55 PM
4 moms liked this

 meaning...Don't tell on the kids. Let them do whatever they want. Don't babysit. Don't do anything.

However, I'm leaning towards you leaving. I never tell anyone to leave..ever.

You are so young, you don't need that BS!

Quoting nikkiblueeyes87:

disengage?

 

SammyJK
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:17 AM
2 moms liked this
Have you considered leaving and moving on? To me, if he lets someone...anyone disrespect you, hes disrespecting you. Especially considering its HIS kids doing it and hes the parent!
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nikkiblueeyes87
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:36 AM

I wish it were wasy to just leave,,  i am a full time student with no money, job, or even a vehicle, so I just have to deal with it. But it sucks because I also love him so much...

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:49 AM
12 moms liked this
If you loved him that much, your first reason to not leave would have been because you love him, not because you have nowhere to go. You should find a roommate or someone you can move in with.

If the only reason you 'deal' with it is because you have no money and nowhere to go, I'd suggest getting yourself a Job and finding a way to support yourself.
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