Last week there was a post,sadly I don't think the poster listened even after 200+ replies but I think something good comes from everything(hopefully) and in this I came to realize how much we use our bio filters.
I feel bad I use them quite often. I don't say it outloud but I know I do. The difference I hope is I don't it outloud. I really hope to get it under control to where I don't get upset everytime I see my skids get something I feel is "undeserving". Ill let dad parent his while I do what's right for my dds. Ill work on my bio filter also.
Does it get better as you work on it? I'm only 5 years in,so I think I am getting better sometimes then bam! It (biofilter)turns on. Lol.
Is it always a bad thing? Or more like as long as you know it's there,that's good enough?
Or the famous,my kids would NEVER do that. Maybe they wouldn't but its not fair for me to point out. (I don't its just an example)
The biofilter is the reason our species hasn't died out. It is the reason we tolerate our kids and forgive them time and time again.
the biofilter is a good thing. It is the result of unconditional love.
Quoting whatIknownow:The biofilter is the reason our species hasn't died out. It is the reason we tolerate our kids and forgive them time and time again.
the biofilter is a good thing. It is the result of unconditional love.
The bio-filter is one of many tools we as SM's can use when dealing with our situations. Another is recognizing what is typical behavior for a certain age, and what is typical behavior for COD. I try to use all of those tools when dealing with my kids and the skids.
I think one of the problems SM's have is that the bio-filter is a 2 way street. If SM's need to understand that, then so do our DH's. I don't think it's a case of my kids "never" do that, instead I think it's a case of "I don't allow my kids to get away with that". This has been an ongoing issue for me and DH. He will excuse and justify his kids behaviors, but when mine do the same exact thing, he blows it out of proportion. I have to explain to him over and over the concept of bio-filter, but he just doesn't get it. Or maybe he does and just doesn't want to deal with it.
It's the best way to do it IMO
Quoting Steamedpuddle30:
One thing I LOVE about This group is the different perspectives and tools you gain from reading posts and having an open mind.
Last week there was a post,sadly I don't think the poster listened even after 200+ replies but I think something good comes from everything(hopefully) and in this I came to realize how much we use our bio filters.
I feel bad I use them quite often. I don't say it outloud but I know I do. The difference I hope is I don't it outloud. I really hope to get it under control to where I don't get upset everytime I see my skids get something I feel is "undeserving". Ill let dad parent his while I do what's right for my dds. Ill work on my bio filter also.
Does it get better as you work on it? I'm only 5 years in,so I think I am getting better sometimes then bam! It (biofilter)turns on. Lol.
Is it always a bad thing? Or more like as long as you know it's there,that's good enough?
Quoting annabl1970:
It actually helps me a lot. I always put myself in DH shoes, and I know if I didn't like the " feeling":), probably he doesn't either. Too bad not everybody can do it. I have coworker who constantly complains about her Ex and his wife, who treats ( in her opinion) her kids diffrent than theirs. But based on the stories she said, I can accused her of the same behavior towards her SKs
Quoting whatIknownow:The biofilter is the reason our species hasn't died out. It is the reason we tolerate our kids and forgive them time and time again.
the biofilter is a good thing. It is the result of unconditional love.
Step kids and extracurriculars
- Steamedpuddle30
on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:25 AM