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One thing I LOVE about This group is the different perspectives and tools you gain from reading posts and having an open mind.

Last week there was a post,sadly I don't think the poster listened even after 200+ replies but I think something good comes from everything(hopefully) and in this I came to realize how much we use our bio filters.

I feel bad I use them quite often. I don't say it outloud but I know I do. The difference I hope is I don't it outloud. I really hope to get it under control to where I don't get upset everytime I see my skids get something I feel is "undeserving". Ill let dad parent his while I do what's right for my dds. Ill work on my bio filter also.

Does it get better as you work on it? I'm only 5 years in,so I think I am getting better sometimes then bam! It (biofilter)turns on. Lol.

Is it always a bad thing? Or more like as long as you know it's there,that's good enough?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:25 AM
Replies (31-34):
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:59 AM

I call mine the spawnzillas.

Quoting jlg12678:

Same here.

Dad is responsible for his spawn as I am for mine. It makes things much easier.

And yes, I used the word spawn. :) 
leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:20 AM

She can't leave him if her child will be subject to visitation in a home where those children are, unless she can get him to agree to supervised visits with their child together, she has to battle at home with that lot.

Quoting luckystars2012:

Yes, they have a child together.

These kids have done some very horrible things including trying to molest other kids, the boy has tortured animals, been admitted for.psych issues, etc. They are both very manipulative. I.personally caught them.scheming about how to "get rid of sm" and talking about hurting their baby brother.

Dad has sole custody, a lot.of the issues stem from.when bm.had custody. But dad hasn't dealt with.the.issues properly.

I think.she will.end up leaving him, and I.hope.she does. He's a decent guy but his.kids are absolute monsters.


Quoting leegirl_jm:

Why has she become hateful? Does she have minor children who are around the stepkids?

Quoting luckystars2012:

.....

I get what youre saying though as Ive seen it in some of my friends that are SMs.  Im having an issue with a friend of mine right now over it, as she has allowed her "filter" to become a clogged and dirty mess as of late....she went from being a disengaged SM to being a pretty hateful one.  And while I agree that her SKs are horrible little children (they are the only kids I have ever banned from my home, EVER.  They have major issues including instances of sexual agression towards other kids) it is truly their BPs fault because they havent handled the kids properly.  Its a sad sitch all around.





Wife, Mother and Career Woman living in Jamaica

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:31 AM

 Good point!

Quoting leegirl_jm:

She can't leave him if her child will be subject to visitation in a home where those children are, unless she can get him to agree to supervised visits with their child together, she has to battle at home with that lot.

Quoting luckystars2012:

Yes, they have a child together.

These kids have done some very horrible things including trying to molest other kids, the boy has tortured animals, been admitted for.psych issues, etc. They are both very manipulative. I.personally caught them.scheming about how to "get rid of sm" and talking about hurting their baby brother.

Dad has sole custody, a lot.of the issues stem from.when bm.had custody. But dad hasn't dealt with.the.issues properly.

I think.she will.end up leaving him, and I.hope.she does. He's a decent guy but his.kids are absolute monsters.


Quoting leegirl_jm:

Why has she become hateful? Does she have minor children who are around the stepkids?

Quoting luckystars2012:

.....

I get what youre saying though as Ive seen it in some of my friends that are SMs.  Im having an issue with a friend of mine right now over it, as she has allowed her "filter" to become a clogged and dirty mess as of late....she went from being a disengaged SM to being a pretty hateful one.  And while I agree that her SKs are horrible little children (they are the only kids I have ever banned from my home, EVER.  They have major issues including instances of sexual agression towards other kids) it is truly their BPs fault because they havent handled the kids properly.  Its a sad sitch all around.

 




 

luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:03 AM
Given his kids history of sexual aggression/assault towards other children, being institutionalized, etc and his complete failure to do anything about it, I honestly don't think.she'd have an issue getting supervised visits.


Quoting leegirl_jm:

She can't leave him if her child will be subject to visitation in a home where those children are, unless she can get him to agree to supervised visits with their child together, she has to battle at home with that lot.

Quoting luckystars2012:

Yes, they have a child together.



These kids have done some very horrible things including trying to molest other kids, the boy has tortured animals, been admitted for.psych issues, etc. They are both very manipulative. I.personally caught them.scheming about how to "get rid of sm" and talking about hurting their baby brother.



Dad has sole custody, a lot.of the issues stem from.when bm.had custody. But dad hasn't dealt with.the.issues properly.



I think.she will.end up leaving him, and I.hope.she does. He's a decent guy but his.kids are absolute monsters.





Quoting leegirl_jm:

Why has she become hateful? Does she have minor children who are around the stepkids?

Quoting luckystars2012:

.....

I get what youre saying though as Ive seen it in some of my friends that are SMs.  Im having an issue with a friend of mine right now over it, as she has allowed her "filter" to become a clogged and dirty mess as of late....she went from being a disengaged SM to being a pretty hateful one.  And while I agree that her SKs are horrible little children (they are the only kids I have ever banned from my home, EVER.  They have major issues including instances of sexual agression towards other kids) it is truly their BPs fault because they havent handled the kids properly.  Its a sad sitch all around.







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