I'll start by giving a few details about the CO between DF and his ex.
Here the court orders are not incredibly specific. You can specify a few things but most stuff is laid out in a general pamphlet that covers parenting topics. One of these things is Holiday parenting time. It states which holidays are considered Children's holidays and that they are to be alternated yearly. it also states that "parenting time supersedes the normal schedule and is seperate from the regular schedule". I called Friend of The Court and asked to make SURE I was right and asked "So if the non custodial parent's Christmas Eve parenting time falls on the custodial parent's weekend does the custodial parent get a makeup weekend?" And the case worker said "No, the Holiday weekend overrides the normal schedule for that weekend, the custodial parent does not get a make-up weekend and the schedule returns to normal after that weekend." ok, just as I suspected.
DF and BM have an amendment in their CO stating that because of DF's military drill weekends often falling on his EOW with his daughter, that if his drill date falls on his weekend with his daughter, that BM must give him one of her weekends in exchange for the drill weekend.
When making the schedule for next year BM decided which weekends she wanted to give in exchange for DF's drill dates. In January she wanted to give him the first weekend in January in exchange for his January 12th drill date. He agreed to it. In december DF's every other weekend falls on the weekends of December 1st, December 15th, and December 29th. In addition to that He also gets to have her from Saturday December 22nd at noon until December 25th at 10 a.m. That falls on BM's weekend but because it is holiday parenting time it supercedes her scheduled weekend and she does NOT get a make up weekend to replace it.
Well, DF got a text this morning from BM saying "I was told to 1st try to talk to u about dec sched & try to civilly work it out amongst ourselves 1st. Cuz ur takin my weekend of Dec 22nd and will have her 4 weekends in a row cuz I had to switch sched for ur nat guard in jan. So I would need either weekend of 14th or 28th. Doesn't matter to me which one"
Um, fuck no.
If she doesn't want him to have their child 4 weekends in a row then she needs to give him a different weekend in january other than the first weekend. He does not HAVE to give her a "make up" weekend just because his holiday falls on her weekend and because SHE decided she wanted to give him the first weekend in January instead of the 3rd weekend because she has "plans" that weekend. The fact that she came into this acting like an entitled jerk pissses me off. Not to mention She already gets "SD" a significant amount of time more than DF does. He gets "SD" about 100 nights per year as opposed to BM's 265 so why would he want to give up one of his weekends with her just so BM doesn't have to go 4 weekends in a row with out seeing her? Maybe BM should try to see what it's like going 11 days at a time all the time without seeing your own child!
****UPDATE**** So DF and I talked about it and he gave her three options
1. He would give her the last weekend in December in exchange for two nights of his choosing during the week during Christmas break.
2. She can give him the third weekend in January in exchange for his drill weekend instead of the first weekend and just reschedule the plans that she had that weekend.
3. We looked at the calender and there is one weekend in March (because March has 5 weekends next year, I didn't take that into account), the 3 weekend, that she could give him in exchange for the last weekend in December. He said he would be willing to give her the last weekend in december in exchange for that weekend.
So I guess we'll see what she says. I think we've give her some fair options.
***2nd update*** She responded "Not going to change anything. Your family wont see SD for Christmas and that's on you" Ahhhhh, the truth comes out. DF does not speak with his mother or his two sisters. They are toxic people and have stabbed him in the back and been extremely hurtful to him, especially during the time that his dad died of cancer. He cut his ties with them and they started to get buddy buddy with BM after that even though previously they would say horrible things about BM and treat HER horribly! But apparently BM was trying to take one of DF's weekends to give that weekend to DF's mom, not even for herself. He responded that the people he considers his family will see SD for Christmas and that's what matters to him. That includes DF's grandparents on his dad's side, his great aunts and uncles on that side, DF's stepmom and his half brothers and me and my kids and my family. She said "Yeah I can see you have SD's best interest at heart" (sarcasm) and he basically told her that he feels his mom and sisters are toxic and that it is in SD's best interest to not be involved with him but that he respects that BM has a different opinion on the matter and said that if she wants SD to see his mom and sisters that she needs to do that on her own time. So that settles that. No change in the schedule.