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I need your HELP! My SO Want Fight Back!!

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:23 PM
  • 28 Replies
My SO ex-wife moved all 4kids 3hours away a year ago she gave him a 30 day notice. She is leasing out the house that they both once owned. He agreed to her filing bankruptcy bcuz she promised she would continue to raise the kids in the house.Now she leases the house out. She makes more money than him.He pays child support. The ex brings the kids to town about 2to 3 times a month BUt she doesn't inform him that they are coming nor do she bring them to visit. He may see them 1time out of the 3times they come to town. there has been speculation from him & his family that the youngest child is not his child. He refuses to fight for visitation. he get so angry when i tell him to fight back for visitation & get a paternity test. I want to just leave & allow his ex to continue to hurt him & eat him alive. He want fight back. Do i step out of it. i love him & it upsets me to watch her hurt him.
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KnowItAll
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:25 PM
1 mom liked this

Yep, you should definitely stay out of it.  You can't force someone to be a parent when they don't want to be one.  

needsupport100
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:29 PM

HE refuses HE wont fight HIS problem. if there's no co, then she's not obligated to inform him of shit-just saying . HE's got to want it to make changes that "need" changed

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:33 PM
2 moms liked this

If he doesn't want to be a Dad then you shouldn't try and make him.  

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:56 PM

 How long has this man not had a visitation order?

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:01 PM

Your husband has made his choice.  You don't have to agree with the decision or reasoning behind it, but you should respect your husband.  If you simply cannot respect your husband, then there's not much marriage there and wanting to leave may be a justifiable choice on your part. 

But if I were you, I'd simply let go of this battle.  It's not yours to fight.  They aren't your kids; she's not your ex.  Whatever happens with them can only affect you if you allow it.  And as far as your husband goes, his actions (or inactions, as it were) dictate his consequences.  You may be feel he's being treated unjustly, but he's choosing this.

SMomof1234
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:07 PM

My husband isn't one to fight for things either. However, It's his decision on what he wants to do. His youngest three kids live in another state and we get them 2 months out of the year. I have always supported my husbands decisions with his kids, but I also give him different point of views. My husband always looked at it as "one day they will know the truth, I will be here if they want to find me." It's not that he doesn't want to see his kids, it's the mother that calls him the deadbeat dad because she kicked him out.

If you love him, support him in what he wants to do. He is a grown man.

Good Luck.

luvme84
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:19 PM
Quoting baparrot2:

 How long has this man not had a visitation order?


it was in the decree wgen they divorced 4years ago. but when she moved away a year ago he took her word that she would bring the kids twice a month.
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:19 PM

 i dont know that i could resepct a man that lets his ex walk all over him enough to let it get far enough to have a relationship.

he needs to get his shit taken care of legally. tell him that unles she does this that you dont even want to hear about it.

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:22 PM

 

Quoting luvme84:

Quoting baparrot2:

 How long has this man not had a visitation order?


it was in the decree wgen they divorced 4years ago. but when she moved away a year ago he took her word that she would bring the kids twice a month.

 but she isnt. He has a CO for visitation. Use it. My ss was 3 hours away. We went and got him. Just how it was. Are you saying he wants to fight to make her move back?

momcat437
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:24 PM
1 mom liked this

 The best thing for yo to do is stay out of it.  You can't make him do something he has no intention of doing--and definitely don't marry him!!

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