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$400 hair extensions for SD16. Get the $%^&*& out of here!

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:38 PM
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SD16 and BM tell DH on Friday (notice I used the word "TELL") that she needs to get $400 hair extensions tomorrow.  Well, he blew it off and was like 'no, she can go to the salon and get her hair styled for the usual $85 we pay plus tip.  Why does she "need" hair extensions?'

Well this morning, BM called 1st thing and while I'm brushing my teeth, I overhear DH blowing his cool and he is normally very laid back, easy going etc.  By then, I step out the bathroom and try my BEST to stay out of it, but my nostrils were filling up with smoke, boy I tell ya!  Then, I hear him itemizing to her what he has to do with his day, time, week and money.  That's when my whistle blew and I basically said to him (with BM on the phone), "you do NOT owe her a break down of YOUR responsibilities and schedule!  SD16, yes, may need her hair done, but she does NOT need some &^%&^% $400 extensions!  Furthermore, did they discuss this with you, or did they place their usual demands upon you?"

BM goes off on the phone so I politely grabbed it from him.  When I get on the phone, she calms down and suddenly wants to discuss it "like adults."   She goes on to explain to me that SD's hair is damaged and she wants a protective style to wear and hair extensions aren't cheap.  Yadda yadda yadda.  I let her know that I, too, am a girl and totally understand the whole HAIR thing.  DH will never get it, but to TELL him (in lieu of discussing/planning it with him) that he needs to fork over $200 bucks by tomorrow, regardless if we have it or not, is an argument waiting to happen...not to mention UNFAIR. The money is not the issue, their approach, disrespect & attitude is!     

In his line of work, holidays are his busiest times of year, so they have already "spent" his money in their heads.  Oh but that train came to a screeching halt this morning!  

Suddenly, I hear SD16 calling me into her room, so I take the PHONE WITH ME so BM could hear.  She tearfully begins to show me the damage to her hair and how long it USED to be, and how Joel asked her not to cut her hair etc.  I agreed, that YES, she does need her hair repaired but gluing/sewing/fusing extensions in it may not be the best way.  Endure the big chop, and let it grow on its own.  OR, give DH a little more notice and a lot more courtesy when you want something.  I told her "lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on his part."  

BM agreed with me and admitted that she will try to set the appointment after Thanksgiving, so DH can have proper "notice," even though she KNOWS he has the money.  Unquote.  Of course, she was being sarcastic and mad because once again, they couldn't just pull up to the goddamm drive thru window, place their order and pull around and get their food handed to them!   

Ladies, I'm a girly girl, always have been, always will be.  So I know that bad hair days can really bum you out, especially in high school and the last thing I want is for her to feel "inadequate" at this age around her friends etc.  But, I also don't want her placing so much emphasis on her exterior.  If Joel will like you with long flowing hair, but suddenly dislikes you with a cute and sassy bob, then Joel can go to hell.  

I'm not against extensions either, but $400 for a 16y/o who doesn't work, hasn't bothered to try and earn the money, has 2 Cs and whose attitude is that of entitlement is a bit extreme in my opinion.  Why not $200?  I asked BM if she had her half and guess what she said?!  I saved the best for last!  And I quote "not yet, but if he pays for it all upfront, I will reimburse him next Friday."  Fuck outta here and off my phone, lady!

Happy Thanksgiving.  Please try to have a drama-free one. 

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:38 PM
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by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:41 PM

Do you always handle your DH's fights or is it just when BM is concerned?

What if his boss told him he had to wait on a bonus check or something similar?  Would you march your happy drama free ass in there and take care of that too?

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:43 PM


by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:46 PM
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 Bm is crazy.

*Putting my BM and hairstylist hat on*

If this girls hair is so damaged that it is NOTICIBLY breaking, glue in or braid in extensions are OUT!

However, you can go to a local Sally Beauty and for 100$ they sell human hair extensions that are clip ins. She may have to go in and have a stylist show her how to properly insert them and then dry trim them up to custom fit your SD.

My daughter was on a particular BC that made her hair fall out and get super thin. My daughter had a head of blonde mane on her that was gorgeous and then the BC reduced her to mere stringy hair within months! She was very self concious of it. I bought her these extensions till her hair started to thicken up again. She didnt wear them every day, just on special occasions and such. She will still put them in from time to time.

by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:51 PM
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My kid would be going and getting a trim if her hair was damaged, NOT $400 worth of extensions.  That will do even more damage. 

by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 1:54 PM
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$400 does seem alot, especially if she has no job to help pay for it. Whether it were SD or DD asking, DH and I would MAYBE pay half, and they would have to get the other half by doing chores, getting a job, etc.

by Le Bonjour Chat on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:00 PM
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Jesus, I don't even spend $85 on my hair (ok, I may buy expensive shampoo/conditioner, but that's the extent of it) at the hair salon.  Hair extensions are a luxury, not a "must have".  I don't care if her hair is damaged and needs to be "protected".  That doesn't make sense since I've seen people with DAMAGE from hair extensions, so protect the hair?????  I think not.

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:06 PM
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No I don't handle his fights, and I didn't handle this one either.  I posed questions & scenarios to an irrational conversation, provide a solution (now, DH & BM have agreed to other stylists or make SD earn a portion of it) and by the time we all hung up, BM thanked me.  She actually will call me sometimes when she wants to present something to DH. So perhaps my rant made it sound more "dramatic" as it really was.  Did I curse?  Yes.  Did I grab the phone?  No, I just held my hand out and he handed it to me.  For those who know me (and my family knows me), I have a sense of humor and sharp tongue. 

BM even reprimanded SD for not reminding DH before she did (which is why I took the phone with me into her room - kids will conveniently leave things out).  Since then, BM has called me for my stylist contact information and we laughed about this morning.

He works for himself so no boss to "handle" either.  I get your point, but to answer your question, "no."   He handles his employees, partners, daughter and BM on his own.  When I hear my otherwise cool and collected DH suddenly blow his top, I take notice.  Who wouldn't?  Then to learn that it was behind some cockamamie foolishness, yes, I responded, and would do it again if necessary. 


by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:08 PM
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If he can't afford it and/or doesn't agree with it he can simply say "no" and leave it at that. Bm doesn't need a rundown of his finances and other obligations.  

Bm has balls, though, to ask for him to cover this upfront and then she'll reimburse? Right. I'm sure that's going to happen.

And for the record, every last person I know who has had hair extensions has had damage FROM them due to all the glue that is used. If bm wants her kid's hair to look better she needs a haircut, NOT more damaging procedures.

by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:11 PM
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I woulda said get the fuck outta here too!  LOL

by Ruby Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:54 PM
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lol DH would tell both SD and BM where they can go with their $400 need for hair extensions

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