Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Is this too pushy??

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:56 PM
  • 12 Replies

I have a BJ's membership, its like Sam's Club if you don't know what it is. My DD4 wants the Leap Pad 2 for Christmas, and asked my Ex for it, and he confirmed that he would get it. I have done my homework, and BJ's has the best deal, it's $116.99 for the Pad, a gel case, $20 card to buy games, 2 included games, and the battery charger. Its $20-50 dollars more any place else. DH suggested that I ask Ex to give me the $$ to buy it, than just give him it, the reciept, and extra cash. We, Ex and I, have done this in the past with NO problem... but now he has a gf. SHE thinks, for some reason, that this is "getting all up in her business."  She took the phone from Ex to tell me this on the phone last night after he requested DD8 give me the phone so we, the adults, could talk. Should I go ahead an ask, or just leave it?  This is Ex's first gf that he has had since we split 3 years ago, and I am just not sure how to handle all this mess...

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 2:56 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:01 PM
2 moms liked this

 i would have told his gf that agreements about your child are between YOu and HIM and if he cares to share with her after you have discussed it with him, thats his business but as far as YOu are concerned, you dont care about her input. otehr than that, have a good one. then again, i refused to deal with any of my kids dads SO's, and i roll with that in my SO's situation too. if he asks for my input i give it.. if it impacts me i say something.. but only to him, not to BM, their issues are between them and im not sharing my opinion with her, it doesnt matter to her.

id ask him. tell him you found him a better deal. if he chooses not to roll with it, its money out of his pocket.

liltigersmom
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:03 PM
Screw the gf, go ahead and discuss the xmas gift with him anyways.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:04 PM

If you and he have a good relationship of co-parenting your DD, I say do what you've done in the past. If there's a problem, then he can spend more money and do it his way.

Why are women so damn controlling? Why does the new gf always think she has a right to say ANYTHING to the BM? Even now, after being married for over 10 years to my DH, I leave the talking to him and BM. Unless I absolutely HAVE to; and DH is the one with custody and I do a majority of the "parenting" stuff.

My sister is going through this same type of situation with her ex. The ex's girl friend recently sent my sister a message on facebook ripping her a new one for the ex not seeing the kids, which is total BS. They don't have a CO because he doesn't want his dirty laundry aired in court and HIS mom refuses to allow him to be alone with the kids (23 months and 3 months) because he's an idiot (my sister has that exact statement via text from his mother)...

LOL, anyways, women are controlling, and I think you should just do what you normally do. If her behavior changes your ability to co-parent your daughter, hopefully he'll realize that. 

saywhat2102
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:07 PM

Tell her to kiss your ass and please put your EX back on the phone then ask your EX if he will be so kind to ask his girlfriend for his nuts back:)  Do what you been doing...it has worked before she got there...

elisesmom922
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:10 PM
1 mom liked this

We have had a decent relationship for the last year or so, it was really hard the first year though. He was mad she took the phone, and I heard him tell her  that they needed to talk when he was done talking to the girls. 

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

If you and he have a good relationship of co-parenting your DD, I say do what you've done in the past. If there's a problem, then he can spend more money and do it his way.

Why are women so damn controlling? Why does the new gf always think she has a right to say ANYTHING to the BM? Even now, after being married for over 10 years to my DH, I leave the talking to him and BM. Unless I absolutely HAVE to; and DH is the one with custody and I do a majority of the "parenting" stuff.

My sister is going through this same type of situation with her ex. The ex's girl friend recently sent my sister a message on facebook ripping her a new one for the ex not seeing the kids, which is total BS. They don't have a CO because he doesn't want his dirty laundry aired in court and HIS mom refuses to allow him to be alone with the kids (23 months and 3 months) because he's an idiot (my sister has that exact statement via text from his mother)...

LOL, anyways, women are controlling, and I think you should just do what you normally do. If her behavior changes your ability to co-parent your daughter, hopefully he'll realize that. 


SammyJK
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:14 PM
Id tell him or ask him about it whatever. I bought a leap pad 1 and 2 at walmart and each was under 100.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Pero1
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:24 PM

I'd put the breaks on this one straight away. Her listening in ... fine, by all means! Her offering to find a better deal? By all means, go ahead. Her taking the phone and insisting on talking to you? F*ck that! Why would you involve the peanut gallery?

If this is over the purchase of a mutually agreed toy, then wait until school or health issues come up! I'd nip that one in the bud! Give him a call and tell him that you do not appreciate her involvement. I presume you don't push your SO on him, so tell him you'd expect the same from him!

LittleMama2012
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:38 PM
When it concerns the kids, it concerns their parents. She can give her opinion to him, not to you. That is rude. I would discuss it with him anyway. If you have normally done this, then I would bet that it won't be a problem this time. She needs to butt out; it really doesn't concern her.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
elisesmom922
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:45 PM

He called the house to talk to the kids, then specifically asked DD8 to please give me the phone so we could talk about it. To his credit, he wasn't happy she did it and told her they would be talking after he was done talking to the kids and I.

Quoting Pero1:

I'd put the breaks on this one straight away. Her listening in ... fine, by all means! Her offering to find a better deal? By all means, go ahead. Her taking the phone and insisting on talking to you? F*ck that! Why would you involve the peanut gallery?

If this is over the purchase of a mutually agreed toy, then wait until school or health issues come up! I'd nip that one in the bud! Give him a call and tell him that you do not appreciate her involvement. I presume you don't push your SO on him, so tell him you'd expect the same from him!


elisesmom922
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:48 PM

We have normally done this. The issue is when he has a GF, she is usually the boss. It was like that when we were together, I got tired of feeling like I was dating myself, b/c I made all the decisions, all of them, no matter what it was about. I don't know her, don't really care to at this point since she's only been around six weeks or so.

Quoting LittleMama2012:

When it concerns the kids, it concerns their parents. She can give her opinion to him, not to you. That is rude. I would discuss it with him anyway. If you have normally done this, then I would bet that it won't be a problem this time. She needs to butt out; it really doesn't concern her.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN