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Punishments/Lectures Pt 2-WWYD?!?!?!

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The week before Halloween-there was a situation involving SD11/BM's ss9 and a few of his friends.

It was Friday night-about 11ish at night. I was folding the laundry-sd11 was on her FB showing me a video of her SS (bm's sd13) singing in choir.

SD11 gets a message from this kid-and it says something to the effect of him not wearing any underwear-and he's got a huge boner-then asked SD11 if she's gonna do anything about it and if SHE"S wearing any underwear!

She freaks-and said "kat look at this creep!" She shut her chat off-and I read the messages. It's ss9's friend who has a crush on SD11 but she doesn't care for the kid.

She gets off FB-I call Bm-cell's shut off-nobody's answering her house phone. So I called Dh at work-read him the messages-he said he'll get ahold of BM.

SD was kinda freaked so she goes to bed.

*************************************************

Saturday after Halloween-BM shows up with SD13 and SD11. Bm had a talk with the boys. (SS9 had friends over-one of them snuck into BM's bedroom and swiped SD11's Ipod and used it to get on FB)

None of them are admitting to sending the messages. So, she contacted the other parents. All the boys are now banned from Facebook for a month. (None of them are over the age of 12) ALong with SD11.

Recently I posted about SD11's suicide attempt....it seems ss9's friends were giving SD11 some shit over the whole ordeal-calling her a snitch...a rat...tattletale etc on top of her classmates teasing her over having to repeat the 4th grade-finally got to be too much for her.

BM came to DH and I admitting she didn't know what to do. I told her to take away the Fb's, disable them. Ban ss9 and his friends from the internet while in her house. And to monitor the kids when they're online at home. (She's got 5 kids sd13,dd11,ss9,ds6 and ydd5) It's rough but it can be done.

MIL thinks i was wrong for interferring and DH thinks I didn't do enough.

What would you do?!

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 4:31 PM
Replies (41-50):
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:25 PM


Quoting LittleMama2012:

They are not mature enough to handle social media. You are involved because you were there when it happened and because bm went to Dh and you. Mil needs to mind her own business. Why is it her concern?

EXACTLY!!! Dh and I have been living together for over a year now-been together since before the land of time....but she thinks because it's HER son's house-she needs to concern herself!

The only reason she even knew there was an issue was because she asked DH if we were all coming to Thanksgiving dinner (we have the kids but sd's staying home my daughter and I will be with my family) and DH said only ss and I will be there-and of course she throws her tantrum.

She actually got pissed with me for not attending. SOrry my 75yr old grandmother just lost her son (my uncle/godfather) suffered 2 heart attacks and got a pacemaker put in-she's got 1 foot in the grave-my daughter and I will be with her. And she's made with DH for not making sd attend. but tough shit.

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:27 PM


Quoting elisesmom922:

At least your BM is smart about it. Our BM wants SD11 to be her "friend", so she let her get a FB there, and even though SD11 lives with Custodial Gma, she can access it anywhere. Something similar happened, but there were pictures involved. Gma about had a coronary, and grounded SD11 from her laptop, Ipod, and the phone for 3 months. Dh was livid and wanted to kill SD11 and the boy.He didn't think it was enough, but had no say really. So now somewhere out there, is a picture of SD11's board flat chest. Smh!

Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting kkkaaayyyy:

I would of taken a screen shot of the message for proof. I wouldn't allow any child that age have a facebook. It scares me the generation now having phones with internet and such. So many kids being harassed and taunted on fb. I honestly, dont' know what I would of done. I think you did a great job. Hope it gets better for you.

No need for screen shot-BM has full access to all her kids's fb pages. She read all the messages. It's a condition she's got in her house-if they want a social page-she has to have the password.


SD11 could have gone done that road-but luckily we've steered her from that course! BM is strict on privacy (don't be showing your goodies online or taking xxx rated pix) she doesnt mind if her daughters walk around looking like hoochies-but sd11's learning that modesty is a good thing :)

Bm's sd13 is very revealing and doesn't care who knows or sees-and we tell SD11-this is PRIME example of how NOT to act!

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:30 PM


Quoting lovemyfriend:


Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting lovemyfriend:

I'm sad to say I do...but...I use it only for keeping in touch with family and a few close friends who live far away...But I did notice you're a vegetarian and so am I.  Not quite as rare, but still hard to find others... :)  Everyone gives me crazy looks when I'm not having turkey "even on thanksgiving?!" 

Quoting saywhat2102:

Oh my gosh! If you don't have a facebook account I will be your friend! We are very rare very rare! Lol ;-)


Quoting lovemyfriend:

facebook....the demise of our society.  I think if BM asks for your opinion...then you did what you can do.  Why didn't DH do more if he thinks more should be done?



hell if anyone saw the turkey my MIL made last year-EVERYONE would turn vegetarian!! My aunt is a vegetarian-turned me onto some of recipes (quite delish btw) shame DH is too uch of a meat eater to convert.

hahaha awww...poor lady.  I have some super delicious and easy recipes that are meant to have no meat, so the're not like...fake meat or something...He'd probably love them!  Sopa Seca is my favorite right now...its a casserole that is the most delicious thing you will ever eat in your whole life. 

i have a few cook books myself :)

my biggest accomplishment-was when I switched ground meat with ground chicken or turkey and made a meatloaf out of it!

When they demolished the entire 2lb loaf (DH and the 3 kids) he bragged it was the bestest ever! Until he saw the wrappers in the trash can that said groundwhatever instead of ground beef. lol

I'm slowly working on him. I'm not expecting him to give up meat 100% but leaning towards a healthier way of eating :)

elisesmom922
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:42 PM

Sadly BM has no modesty rules for the SD's or herself. She bought SD8 an outfit at the STRIPPER store, and had the balls to let her wear it to our house. DH burned it. End of that. She often tells the SD's to "use the goodies God gave you". Its sad really, and Gma has curbed SD11's issues mostly except for the tight pants b/c its "cool" right now. SD8 has no shame though. NONE. She will streak through the house, go outside naked (she did this once when she left her swimsuit in the van), and thinks nothing of it. Its going to be bad if BM doesn't check it soon!

Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting elisesmom922:

At least your BM is smart about it. Our BM wants SD11 to be her "friend", so she let her get a FB there, and even though SD11 lives with Custodial Gma, she can access it anywhere. Something similar happened, but there were pictures involved. Gma about had a coronary, and grounded SD11 from her laptop, Ipod, and the phone for 3 months. Dh was livid and wanted to kill SD11 and the boy.He didn't think it was enough, but had no say really. So now somewhere out there, is a picture of SD11's board flat chest. Smh!

Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting kkkaaayyyy:

I would of taken a screen shot of the message for proof. I wouldn't allow any child that age have a facebook. It scares me the generation now having phones with internet and such. So many kids being harassed and taunted on fb. I honestly, dont' know what I would of done. I think you did a great job. Hope it gets better for you.

No need for screen shot-BM has full access to all her kids's fb pages. She read all the messages. It's a condition she's got in her house-if they want a social page-she has to have the password.


SD11 could have gone done that road-but luckily we've steered her from that course! BM is strict on privacy (don't be showing your goodies online or taking xxx rated pix) she doesnt mind if her daughters walk around looking like hoochies-but sd11's learning that modesty is a good thing :)

Bm's sd13 is very revealing and doesn't care who knows or sees-and we tell SD11-this is PRIME example of how NOT to act!


lovemyfriend
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:44 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting lovemyfriend:

 

Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting lovemyfriend:

I'm sad to say I do...but...I use it only for keeping in touch with family and a few close friends who live far away...But I did notice you're a vegetarian and so am I.  Not quite as rare, but still hard to find others... :)  Everyone gives me crazy looks when I'm not having turkey "even on thanksgiving?!" 

Quoting saywhat2102:

Oh my gosh! If you don't have a facebook account I will be your friend! We are very rare very rare! Lol ;-)


Quoting lovemyfriend:

facebook....the demise of our society.  I think if BM asks for your opinion...then you did what you can do.  Why didn't DH do more if he thinks more should be done?


 

hell if anyone saw the turkey my MIL made last year-EVERYONE would turn vegetarian!! My aunt is a vegetarian-turned me onto some of recipes (quite delish btw) shame DH is too uch of a meat eater to convert.

hahaha awww...poor lady.  I have some super delicious and easy recipes that are meant to have no meat, so the're not like...fake meat or something...He'd probably love them!  Sopa Seca is my favorite right now...its a casserole that is the most delicious thing you will ever eat in your whole life. 

i have a few cook books myself :)

my biggest accomplishment-was when I switched ground meat with ground chicken or turkey and made a meatloaf out of it!

When they demolished the entire 2lb loaf (DH and the 3 kids) he bragged it was the bestest ever! Until he saw the wrappers in the trash can that said groundwhatever instead of ground beef. lol

I'm slowly working on him. I'm not expecting him to give up meat 100% but leaning towards a healthier way of eating :)


oh...well...this sopa seca is filled with cheese..so...maybe not so healthy.  But, more so than my butter soaked vegetable pot pie.  but damn, is that good.  I think there's like 2 cups of butter in it.

saywhat2102
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Spill this sopa seca! I have no clue wtf it is but imma gonna fix it! **eta*** you could put cheese on the bumper of a car and I would lick it off! I have a problem lol

Quoting lovemyfriend:



Quoting Tigress22304:




Quoting lovemyfriend:


 


Quoting Tigress22304:




Quoting lovemyfriend:


I'm sad to say I do...but...I use it only for keeping in touch with family and a few close friends who live far away...But I did notice you're a vegetarian and so am I.  Not quite as rare, but still hard to find others... :)  Everyone gives me crazy looks when I'm not having turkey "even on thanksgiving?!" 


Quoting saywhat2102:

Oh my gosh! If you don't have a facebook account I will be your friend! We are very rare very rare! Lol ;-)



Quoting lovemyfriend:


facebook....the demise of our society.  I think if BM asks for your opinion...then you did what you can do.  Why didn't DH do more if he thinks more should be done?



 


hell if anyone saw the turkey my MIL made last year-EVERYONE would turn vegetarian!! My aunt is a vegetarian-turned me onto some of recipes (quite delish btw) shame DH is too uch of a meat eater to convert.


hahaha awww...poor lady.  I have some super delicious and easy recipes that are meant to have no meat, so the're not like...fake meat or something...He'd probably love them!  Sopa Seca is my favorite right now...its a casserole that is the most delicious thing you will ever eat in your whole life. 


i have a few cook books myself :)


my biggest accomplishment-was when I switched ground meat with ground chicken or turkey and made a meatloaf out of it!


When they demolished the entire 2lb loaf (DH and the 3 kids) he bragged it was the bestest ever! Until he saw the wrappers in the trash can that said groundwhatever instead of ground beef. lol


I'm slowly working on him. I'm not expecting him to give up meat 100% but leaning towards a healthier way of eating :)



oh...well...this sopa seca is filled with cheese..so...maybe not so healthy.  But, more so than my butter soaked vegetable pot pie.  but damn, is that good.  I think there's like 2 cups of butter in it.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SammyJK
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 9:03 PM
1 mom liked this
Me too its fucking ridiculous!

Quoting saywhat2102:

Spill this sopa seca! I have no clue wtf it is but imma gonna fix it! **eta*** you could put cheese on the bumper of a car and I would lick it off! I have a problem lol


Quoting lovemyfriend:



Quoting Tigress22304:




Quoting lovemyfriend:


 


Quoting Tigress22304:




Quoting lovemyfriend:


I'm sad to say I do...but...I use it only for keeping in touch with family and a few close friends who live far away...But I did notice you're a vegetarian and so am I.  Not quite as rare, but still hard to find others... :)  Everyone gives me crazy looks when I'm not having turkey "even on thanksgiving?!" 


Quoting saywhat2102:

Oh my gosh! If you don't have a facebook account I will be your friend! We are very rare very rare! Lol ;-)



Quoting lovemyfriend:


facebook....the demise of our society.  I think if BM asks for your opinion...then you did what you can do.  Why didn't DH do more if he thinks more should be done?



 


hell if anyone saw the turkey my MIL made last year-EVERYONE would turn vegetarian!! My aunt is a vegetarian-turned me onto some of recipes (quite delish btw) shame DH is too uch of a meat eater to convert.


hahaha awww...poor lady.  I have some super delicious and easy recipes that are meant to have no meat, so the're not like...fake meat or something...He'd probably love them!  Sopa Seca is my favorite right now...its a casserole that is the most delicious thing you will ever eat in your whole life. 


i have a few cook books myself :)


my biggest accomplishment-was when I switched ground meat with ground chicken or turkey and made a meatloaf out of it!


When they demolished the entire 2lb loaf (DH and the 3 kids) he bragged it was the bestest ever! Until he saw the wrappers in the trash can that said groundwhatever instead of ground beef. lol


I'm slowly working on him. I'm not expecting him to give up meat 100% but leaning towards a healthier way of eating :)



oh...well...this sopa seca is filled with cheese..so...maybe not so healthy.  But, more so than my butter soaked vegetable pot pie.  but damn, is that good.  I think there's like 2 cups of butter in it.




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
lovemyfriend
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 9:10 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting saywhat2102:

Spill this sopa seca! I have no clue wtf it is but imma gonna fix it! **eta*** you could put cheese on the bumper of a car and I would lick it off! I have a problem lol

Quoting lovemyfriend:

 


Quoting Tigress22304:




Quoting lovemyfriend:


 


Quoting Tigress22304:




Quoting lovemyfriend:


I'm sad to say I do...but...I use it only for keeping in touch with family and a few close friends who live far away...But I did notice you're a vegetarian and so am I.  Not quite as rare, but still hard to find others... :)  Everyone gives me crazy looks when I'm not having turkey "even on thanksgiving?!" 


Quoting saywhat2102:

Oh my gosh! If you don't have a facebook account I will be your friend! We are very rare very rare! Lol ;-)



Quoting lovemyfriend:


facebook....the demise of our society.  I think if BM asks for your opinion...then you did what you can do.  Why didn't DH do more if he thinks more should be done?



 


hell if anyone saw the turkey my MIL made last year-EVERYONE would turn vegetarian!! My aunt is a vegetarian-turned me onto some of recipes (quite delish btw) shame DH is too uch of a meat eater to convert.


hahaha awww...poor lady.  I have some super delicious and easy recipes that are meant to have no meat, so the're not like...fake meat or something...He'd probably love them!  Sopa Seca is my favorite right now...its a casserole that is the most delicious thing you will ever eat in your whole life. 


i have a few cook books myself :)


my biggest accomplishment-was when I switched ground meat with ground chicken or turkey and made a meatloaf out of it!


When they demolished the entire 2lb loaf (DH and the 3 kids) he bragged it was the bestest ever! Until he saw the wrappers in the trash can that said groundwhatever instead of ground beef. lol


I'm slowly working on him. I'm not expecting him to give up meat 100% but leaning towards a healthier way of eating :)



oh...well...this sopa seca is filled with cheese..so...maybe not so healthy.  But, more so than my butter soaked vegetable pot pie.  but damn, is that good.  I think there's like 2 cups of butter in it.



Sopa Seca (Dry Tortilla Soup)

1Cup minced Onion

4 cloves garlic, minced (or however much garlic you like, i like a lot)

4 ounces green chiles, minced (I use canned and do not drain!  and usually extra. I use mild but use whatever spice level you like.)

1 cup heavy whipping cream (I usually use about 1 and 1/2...like I said, I do extra everything...so there is more...hehe)

1 cup tomato puree....I do about 6 tomatoes on the vine pureed in my cuisinart.  depends on how saucy you like it

12 (i do a little extra...are you catching on ? ) corn tortillas cut into strips and fried

2 cups jack cheese shredded

1 cup sharp cheddar ( i use white and also this part is something I added because hence the extra sauce and chiles.) shredded

2 tblspoons butter

***********************************

1.)  In a wide frying pan or sauce pan cook onion and garlic until limp.  Add chiles and cream.  Then add puree.  Simmer for 10 minutes, add salt to taste.

2.)  Grease a 2qt baking dish and cover the bottom with half of the tortilla strips.  Pour in half the sauce and half the cheese, repeat ending with cheese.  Bake @ 350 for about half an hour, uncovered.

**I always tweak/change recipes so this is an adaption (slightly) of my MILs (she got it from a cookbook). 
Hope you enjoy!  Let me know :)  mmm...now i'm hungry.

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 9:16 PM


Quoting elisesmom922:

Sadly BM has no modesty rules for the SD's or herself. She bought SD8 an outfit at the STRIPPER store, and had the balls to let her wear it to our house. DH burned it. End of that. She often tells the SD's to "use the goodies God gave you". Its sad really, and Gma has curbed SD11's issues mostly except for the tight pants b/c its "cool" right now. SD8 has no shame though. NONE. She will streak through the house, go outside naked (she did this once when she left her swimsuit in the van), and thinks nothing of it. Its going to be bad if BM doesn't check it soon!

Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting elisesmom922:

At least your BM is smart about it. Our BM wants SD11 to be her "friend", so she let her get a FB there, and even though SD11 lives with Custodial Gma, she can access it anywhere. Something similar happened, but there were pictures involved. Gma about had a coronary, and grounded SD11 from her laptop, Ipod, and the phone for 3 months. Dh was livid and wanted to kill SD11 and the boy.He didn't think it was enough, but had no say really. So now somewhere out there, is a picture of SD11's board flat chest. Smh!

Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting kkkaaayyyy:

I would of taken a screen shot of the message for proof. I wouldn't allow any child that age have a facebook. It scares me the generation now having phones with internet and such. So many kids being harassed and taunted on fb. I honestly, dont' know what I would of done. I think you did a great job. Hope it gets better for you.

No need for screen shot-BM has full access to all her kids's fb pages. She read all the messages. It's a condition she's got in her house-if they want a social page-she has to have the password.


SD11 could have gone done that road-but luckily we've steered her from that course! BM is strict on privacy (don't be showing your goodies online or taking xxx rated pix) she doesnt mind if her daughters walk around looking like hoochies-but sd11's learning that modesty is a good thing :)

Bm's sd13 is very revealing and doesn't care who knows or sees-and we tell SD11-this is PRIME example of how NOT to act!


bm/bms sister and their sil used to buy clothes for sd11 from fredericks of hollywood and victoria's secret (enough said)

she's tall and very thin but still she's 11! SD11 walks around in her underwear (boy cut shorts) in her bedroom but covers up when ss or DH is up moving around.

BM used to buy her these teeny tiny bikinis to wear in the summertime-but thankfully sd's learned on her own (and from DH and I)how to dress and act more modest

saywhat2102
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 9:20 PM
Oh my DAMN!! I'm so all over this!! White cheddar...get the fuck outta here!!! Sooooo good! Thanks girl! I'm sure my ass gained 5 lbs just reading it but I want it! Lol:-D


Quoting lovemyfriend:



Quoting saywhat2102:

Spill this sopa seca! I have no clue wtf it is but imma gonna fix it! **eta*** you could put cheese on the bumper of a car and I would lick it off! I have a problem lol


Quoting lovemyfriend:


 



Quoting Tigress22304:






Quoting lovemyfriend:



 



Quoting Tigress22304:






Quoting lovemyfriend:



I'm sad to say I do...but...I use it only for keeping in touch with family and a few close friends who live far away...But I did notice you're a vegetarian and so am I.  Not quite as rare, but still hard to find others... :)  Everyone gives me crazy looks when I'm not having turkey "even on thanksgiving?!" 



Quoting saywhat2102:

Oh my gosh! If you don't have a facebook account I will be your friend! We are very rare very rare! Lol ;-)




Quoting lovemyfriend:



facebook....the demise of our society.  I think if BM asks for your opinion...then you did what you can do.  Why didn't DH do more if he thinks more should be done?




 



hell if anyone saw the turkey my MIL made last year-EVERYONE would turn vegetarian!! My aunt is a vegetarian-turned me onto some of recipes (quite delish btw) shame DH is too uch of a meat eater to convert.



hahaha awww...poor lady.  I have some super delicious and easy recipes that are meant to have no meat, so the're not like...fake meat or something...He'd probably love them!  Sopa Seca is my favorite right now...its a casserole that is the most delicious thing you will ever eat in your whole life. 



i have a few cook books myself :)



my biggest accomplishment-was when I switched ground meat with ground chicken or turkey and made a meatloaf out of it!



When they demolished the entire 2lb loaf (DH and the 3 kids) he bragged it was the bestest ever! Until he saw the wrappers in the trash can that said groundwhatever instead of ground beef. lol



I'm slowly working on him. I'm not expecting him to give up meat 100% but leaning towards a healthier way of eating :)




oh...well...this sopa seca is filled with cheese..so...maybe not so healthy.  But, more so than my butter soaked vegetable pot pie.  but damn, is that good.  I think there's like 2 cups of butter in it.




Sopa Seca (Dry Tortilla Soup)


1Cup minced Onion


4 cloves garlic, minced (or however much garlic you like, i like a lot)


4 ounces green chiles, minced (I use canned and do not drain!  and usually extra. I use mild but use whatever spice level you like.)


1 cup heavy whipping cream (I usually use about 1 and 1/2...like I said, I do extra everything...so there is more...hehe)


1 cup tomato puree....I do about 6 tomatoes on the vine pureed in my cuisinart.  depends on how saucy you like it


12 (i do a little extra...are you catching on ? ) corn tortillas cut into strips and fried


2 cups jack cheese shredded


1 cup sharp cheddar ( i use white and also this part is something I added because hence the extra sauce and chiles.) shredded


2 tblspoons butter


***********************************


1.)  In a wide frying pan or sauce pan cook onion and garlic until limp.  Add chiles and cream.  Then add puree.  Simmer for 10 minutes, add salt to taste.


2.)  Grease a 2qt baking dish and cover the bottom with half of the tortilla strips.  Pour in half the sauce and half the cheese, repeat ending with cheese.  Bake @ 350 for about half an hour, uncovered.


**I always tweak/change recipes so this is an adaption (slightly) of my MILs (she got it from a cookbook). 
Hope you enjoy!  Let me know :)  mmm...now i'm hungry.


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