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BM and SD moved out piano in our absence without informing

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New drama on the SD front. My parents, DH and I were out on a road trip over the holidays. When we return we see the piano missing!!! SD has keys to our house - she and her mother came by in our absence and picked it up - without notice, without informing us, without a clue!! Yes yes yes I know this is her house too - but don't we tell each other when remove something from the house?? When I asked DH, he simply shrugged and said, it is her piano too. I was like the nerve of that little girl to bring her mother in when we were away (plus some other folks too - it is a heavy piece) and remove something from here without as much as a peep. WTF. This is sheer disrespect and humiliating behavior. AND my DH defends her (SD) when I say I didnt want SD and BM hanging around, going through my things, I don't even know what else has gone missing!!

I feel my personal space is being violated. This is the same SD who has stolen from me before. I am worried about identity theft among other things. I also think that when DH gives SD (who is a minor) keys to our house (a matter where I was not even consulted) - he has to make her accountable. 

It is very obvious that SD and BM are hell bent on seeing the end of my marriage with DH - there seems a new drama at my doorstep evey waking day. Sad part is - DH and I are not on the same side in this. 

I was like how on earth am I supposed to be comfortable with people hanging in my house without our knowledge, removing something like a piano!!? DH has not even bothered to call SD up to confirm that she indeed picked it up, even when my parents very politely asked if he should. I have half the mind of calling the cops on this - saying its a break in!! 

What should I do? (I am AGHAST - to say the least - with DH's atitude and my parents are stunned with what I am having to put up with). This time I want a solid legal solution to this. I have had about enough. 

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 2:53 PM
Replies (41-50):
annabl1970
by Gold Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 5:57 PM

Yep

Quoting sandeeyo:

Time to confiscate SD's housekeys.


Roximoxi
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 5:59 PM

To be honest, this sounds like a losing situation for you.  This man lets his exwife and young daughter run his life?  Just because he isn't strong, doesn't mean you shouldn't be.  It's time reevaluate what your life is worth, and hopefully you decide to either lay down the law or walk away for good.  And file that police report.  Get your piano back ASAP.

jlg12678
by Gold Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 6:37 PM
1 mom liked this
And what type of adult female thinks it's acceptable to just take a piano?! I don't care what the kid says; a NORMAL and respectable adult verifies something like this with the owner of the item.

I'm trying to imagine my son saying it's ok for me to take his dad's Gibson guitar and me driving him over to the house while the adults are not home to take it.

Yeah, can't imagine doing that. Period.
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gma12.1
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 6:40 PM

You aren't being respected in your own home. You need to pack up and leave. Get a storage unit and take everything that belongs to you and put it in there. When he sees that you are serious maybe then he will take your marriage seriously and just maybe you'll get some respect too. If you don't do something to make him see what is going on and what he will lose then you might as well suck it up because it won't change.

jlg12678
by Gold Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 6:41 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm also going to add that while I normally don't like contact between bm/sm in this case bm would be getting a come to Jesus call from me.

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faerie75
by Platinum Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 6:42 PM
3 moms liked this
Of I paid for it I would tell DH that A. It is to be returned and B. all keys be returned as well, or I would co tact the police. Your relationship might end but I couldn't be married to such a panty waist anyways.

Quoting Chiu:

We (DH and I) paid for the piano. It is ours - for SD and me to play at our house. It is also a lighter version which can be moved more easily than a full upright - but how on earth is it okay to be moved without asking!!! 

DH's lame excuse is that she may have contacted us when we were out of signal range - but those calls show later in VM/missed calls. No such attempts were made. No emails were sent. This is just ridiculous. I will still be right to call the cops. 

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YesImMomToo
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 6:49 PM
1 mom liked this

Quite honestly.. the problem isn't BM or SD it is your husband. It is his failure to make and maintain boundaries, to respect your wishes, to have control of his household, or respect your place and boundaries with in that home. 

Personally I couldn't be with a man who had no balls...

It would be a cold day in hell before the skids had free reign of our house while we were away and BM would never be allowed in our home. ever. In fact she has been trespassed from our property so if she'd like to try that she'd end up with a nice ride to the police station.

I would call the police and report a theft and pack some suitcases while I was waiting for them to arrive. I think they all need a come to Jesus talk.

Chiu
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 7:13 PM

Well in that case, it wouldnt be my marriage gone because of me, it will have been gone long before all this happened. 

Quoting packermomof2:

What legal solutions?  Your husband said it was fine that his kid took the piano.  By all means, call the cops on her and you'll probably see the demise of your marriage because of you, not because of the piano being gone.


momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:27 PM
Oh yes I would definitely think it doesn't matter. I was just saying 'parents' because believe it or not children do these type of things to their parents ALL the time and they have to make the decision to either press charges or not. Anyone can press charges. It is your home. Your piano. Yes definitely.

ETA: I said parents because in this one situation, I was not separating stepparents from parents. I was speaking of you as a parent (owner of the home and piano). My advice would be the same if you were an aunt or grandma. The person that was stolen from would have to press charges. Generally when someone random breaks in to your home there is no question of whether you will press charges or not but when it's family, it's a decision that my sister advises to take very carefully and think of all possible consequences. She could face jail time depending on the $ amount stolen. However she is a child. But her mother could very well face charges for entering your home without permission. Even if it is with SDs permission. My CO actually states that neither of us are to enter the home or vehicle of the other parent without being invited by the parent.

Quoting Chiu:



Quoting momof2ex1:

Not that I know of. My sister works in theft at the PD. she is a detective. This happens ALL the time. The only way that the police will get involved is if the parent wants to press charges. In most cases though the parents do not want to press charges on their kid and so the police step out. Things will get pawned and my sister will pull the items from being sold but the parent (who already owned the stuff) has to buy it back. But there is nothing they can do if you don't want to press charges.



I would contact your local police dept. look up their website. They will (or should have) their departments listed so you can call them directly. The dept you will most likely need is the Criminal Investigation Department. The theft division or even pawn shop detail can give you advice on what you should do. I would definitely file a report.





Quoting Chiu:

Does the law allow SD to come to our place in our absence and take our things? 



Police get involved if the parent presses charges, what about the step parent - ours is a community property state - what about the fact that this is my house and my income too? Doesn't the step parent have any right to defend her property? Off course the parent isnt going to press charges - he is defending her (SD) misdeed even as we speak!! 

I am also pretty sure that if I plan on filing a report - DH will turn around and lie to the police that SD had informed him about the piano to protect her. In which case this is a lost cause already.



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jamamama00
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:33 PM

The police aren't going to do anything....unless your husband presses charges...which he isn't going to do to his kid! Nothing would come of it anyway as she is a minor. Just drop it. Did you really play the piano that much?

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