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Parental Abuse...I feel like I am alone :'(

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I have been suffering physical abuse from my DSS8 for years now. Its progressively getting worse. Sunday he decided that its time for me to die. He wants to kill me. My DH ended having to call of work for a couple of days while we desperately tried to get help. We finally had him admitted back into the mental hospital here. This is his third stay in 6months. He told the Dr he wants me to die and he will kill me the next chance he gets because I stick him in timeout. He has been physical abusing me for years now, but now its really out of control and I can't hide the bruises, whelps anymore. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I feel alone and cant find a support group for the life of me. Please don't bash me. If anyone knows of any support groups PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 11:38 PM
Replies (21-30):
cailliermommy
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 6:59 PM

Nope he is 8yrs old and very strong.

Quoting annabl1970:

How 8 years old can abuse grown up woman? Is it typo? You mean DSS18?


cailliermommy
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:00 PM

I wish, but my DH works very early mornings and I am the only one that is here for the kids!

Quoting chanizen:

Time to get some martial arts training.  And stop watching this kid.


cailliermommy
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:03 PM


Quoting whatIknownow:

I don't think an 8yo child can abuse an adult. "Abuse" is perpetrated by the individual in control.Yes it is considered abuse You are the adult, you're supposed to be in control. You say he's been "abusing" you for years? Yes Years Since he was what, 5 years old? yesYou were the "victim" of a kindergartener? yes

If he is violent with you, you should not be alone with him.My DH works early mornings and I am the only one to watch my children You should not be within striking distance.I am not. I learned that a long time ago. But he comes after me. Why are you putting him in time out? Clearly this child has psychological issues and should be under the care of a professional, not in the care of a "victim". He has been under psychological care for YEARS!!! I am trying to get him the help he needs.


cailliermommy
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:05 PM


Quoting Refurbished:

I don't think you need a support group -- you need to leave.  That's all that a support group would tell you anyway.  Never, ever stay in any situation where your life is being threatened.

Are you custodial or noncustodial?  custodial


cailliermommy
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:06 PM

GREEN HAIR LOOKS GOOD ON YA SWEETIE

Quoting Sunivondea:


cailliermommy
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:08 PM


Quoting rainmommy:

aww mama im sorry to hear hes like that whats his diagnosis? He has ADHD, ODD, ASD, FSA, and RAD as much as i am about medicating children with mental issues i thing your ss is a exception to that cause of how bad he is talk to his drs about medication and long term out patient therapy He is on numerous medications and he is in out patient therapy since he was 5yrs old


cailliermommy
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:10 PM

Thank you!

Quoting notuseless:

Abuse of parents by their children is a common but under reported and under researched subject. Parents are quite often subject to levels of childhood aggression, typically in the form of verbal or physical abuse, in excess of normal childhood aggressive outbursts. Parents feel a sense of shame and humiliation to have that problem, so they rarely seek help and there is usually little or no help available anyway.

Quoting whatIknownow:

I don't think an 8yo child can abuse an adult. "Abuse" is perpetrated by the individual in control. You are the adult, you're supposed to be in control. You say he's been "abusing" you for years? Since he was what, 5 years old? You were the "victim" of a kindergartener? 

If he is violent with you, you should not be alone with him. You should not be within striking distance. Why are you putting him in time out? Clearly this child has psychological issues and should be under the care of a professional, not in the care of a "victim". 

Parental abuse is a relatively new term. In 1979, Harbin and Madden[8] released a study using the term “parent battery” but juvenile delinquency, which is a major factor, has been studied since the late 1800s.[7] Even though some studies have been done in the United States, Australia, Canada, and other countries, the lack of reporting of adolescent abuse toward parents makes it difficult to accurately determine the extent of it. Many studies have to rely on self-reporting by adolescents.[9][10] In 2004, Robinson,[7] of Brigham Young University, published: Parent Abuse on the Rise: A Historical Review in the American Association of Behavioral Social Science Online Journal, reporting results of the 1988 study performed by Evans and Warren-Sohlberg.[11] The results reported that 57% of parental abuse was physical; using a weapon at 17%; throwing items at 5% and verbal abuse reported at 22%. With 82% of the abuse being against mothers (5 times greater than against fathers) and 11% of the abusers were under the age of 10 years old. The highest rate of abuse happens within families with a single mother. Mothers are usually the primary caregiver; they spend more time with their children than fathers and have closer emotional connections to them. It can also be due to the size and strength of the abuser and women are often thought of as weaker and even powerless. Parental abuse can occur in any family and is not associated with ethnic background, socio-economic class, or sexual orientation.

Numerous studies concluded that gender does not play a role in the total number of perpetrators; however, males are more likely to inflict physical abuse and females are more likely to inflict emotional abuse.[3][12][13]


cailliermommy
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:12 PM

I don't understand it either. His 2nd stay at the hospital was because he tried to kill me DD4 (she was 3 at the time) I don't know why they aren't more serious about it. He is doing his best to support our family and I am the main caregiver at home.

Quoting sandeeyo:

I don't know how to take this post because I'm a little confused how an 8 year-old tells a Dr that he's gonna kill someone and then is RELEASED from the hospital???

What is your DH doing about all this?


Seychelles1409
by Gold Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:12 PM


Of course, she needs a support group!!  How can you possibly tell her she doesn't?   Yes, a group would tell her to go where she would be safe, but a group could also help with the emotional damage that has been done to her.  Having her life threatened in her own home by a family member is devastating emotinally.  She probably cannot relax for having to constantly be on her guard when this child is in her home.   I would imagine she is depressed, sad, and anxious.   She came to this site because she couldn't talk about this problem to anyone in her life.  She needs someone to talk to; counseling and support groups are exactly what she needs.   Shame on you for so glibly saying "that's all a support group would tell you anyway," but maybe you have had a bad experience with couseling.
Quoting Refurbished:
I don't think you need a support group -- you need to leave.  That's all that a support group would tell you anyway.  Never, ever stay in any situation where your life is being threatened. 

Are you custodial or noncustodial? 


cailliermommy
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:14 PM

We have been getting him help since he was 5yrs old and its progressively getting worse.

Quoting JacyB:

Why have you continued to be alone with this child? You should absolutely never be alone with him. It's good your husband FINALLY got him some help, but why did it take years? What will happen when he is released?


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