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Parental Abuse...I feel like I am alone :'(

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I have been suffering physical abuse from my DSS8 for years now. Its progressively getting worse. Sunday he decided that its time for me to die. He wants to kill me. My DH ended having to call of work for a couple of days while we desperately tried to get help. We finally had him admitted back into the mental hospital here. This is his third stay in 6months. He told the Dr he wants me to die and he will kill me the next chance he gets because I stick him in timeout. He has been physical abusing me for years now, but now its really out of control and I can't hide the bruises, whelps anymore. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I feel alone and cant find a support group for the life of me. Please don't bash me. If anyone knows of any support groups PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

by on Dec. 1, 2012 at 11:38 PM
Replies (31-40):
Refurbished
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:18 PM

If someone's threatening your life you can't sit around and talk about it -- you need to get up and get yourself out of that situation immediately, then worry about sorting out your emotions over it after you are safe.

Quoting Seychelles1409:



Of course, she needs a support group!!  How can you possibly tell her she doesn't?   Yes, a group would tell her to go where she would be safe, but a group could also help with the emotional damage that has been done to her.  Having her life threatened in her own home by a family member is devastating emotinally.  She probably cannot relax for having to constantly be on her guard when this child is in her home.   I would imagine she is depressed, sad, and anxious.   She came to this site because she couldn't talk about this problem to anyone in her life.  She needs someone to talk to; counseling and support groups are exactly what she needs.   Shame on you for so glibly saying "that's all a support group would tell you anyway," but maybe you have had a bad experience with couseling.
Quoting Refurbished:
I don't think you need a support group -- you need to leave.  That's all that a support group would tell you anyway.  Never, ever stay in any situation where your life is being threatened. 

Are you custodial or noncustodial? 



sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:19 PM

I think you need to stop being this child's main caregiver.  What do the doctors say about him?  Is he like this only with you?  If he is, then you really should step down as caregiver for this kid.  Dad needs to find another place for him to be afterschool or for when dad is at work and can't be home with his son.

Quoting cailliermommy:

I don't understand it either. His 2nd stay at the hospital was because he tried to kill me DD4 (she was 3 at the time) I don't know why they aren't more serious about it. He is doing his best to support our family and I am the main caregiver at home.

Quoting sandeeyo:

I don't know how to take this post because I'm a little confused how an 8 year-old tells a Dr that he's gonna kill someone and then is RELEASED from the hospital???

What is your DH doing about all this?



chanizen
by Platinum Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:32 PM

I want kidding, my friend.  A very small amount of aikido and you would be able to defend against most things.  And you should NOT be watching a kid you cannot fully and safely control. 

 cailliermommy:

I wish, but my DH works very early mornings and I am the only one that is here for the kids!

Quoting chanizen:

Time to get some martial arts training.  And stop watching this kid.



Seychelles1409
by Gold Member on Dec. 2, 2012 at 9:45 PM


What a rude reply!   I did not urge the OP to "sit around and talk about it" instead of getting herself out of harm's way.  Her SS is currently in a HOSPITAL so for the time being she is SAFE.   First I told her not to be embarrassed or ashamed; second, I suggested counseling and/or a support group; and third I wrote that she should NOT stay in the same house as her SS when he gets OUT of the hospital because she would not be safe 
Quoting Refurbished:

If someone's threatening your life you can't sit around and talk about it -- you need to get up and get yourself out of that situation immediately, then worry about sorting out your emotions over it after you are safe.

Quoting Seychelles1409:



Of course, she needs a support group!!  How can you possibly tell her she doesn't?   Yes, a group would tell her to go where she would be safe, but a group could also help with the emotional damage that has been done to her.  Having her life threatened in her own home by a family member is devastating emotinally.  She probably cannot relax for having to constantly be on her guard when this child is in her home.   I would imagine she is depressed, sad, and anxious.   She came to this site because she couldn't talk about this problem to anyone in her life.  She needs someone to talk to; counseling and support groups are exactly what she needs.   Shame on you for so glibly saying "that's all a support group would tell you anyway," but maybe you have had a bad experience with couseling.
Quoting Refurbished:
I don't think you need a support group -- you need to leave.  That's all that a support group would tell you anyway.  Never, ever stay in any situation where your life is being threatened. 

Are you custodial or noncustodial? 




Refurbished
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 9:50 PM

Could you please stop responding to my posts, and for the love of God please don't send me any more of your crazy private messages. I'm really tired of you trying to be the thought police on this board. 

Quoting Seychelles1409:


What a rude reply!   I did not urge the OP to "sit around and talk about it" instead of getting herself out of harm's way.  Her SS is currently in a HOSPITAL so for the time being she is SAFE.   First I told her not to be embarrassed or ashamed; second, I suggested counseling and/or a support group; and third I wrote that she should NOT stay in the same house as her SS when he gets OUT of the hospital because she would not be safe 
Quoting Refurbished:

If someone's threatening your life you can't sit around and talk about it -- you need to get up and get yourself out of that situation immediately, then worry about sorting out your emotions over it after you are safe.

Quoting Seychelles1409:



Of course, she needs a support group!!  How can you possibly tell her she doesn't?   Yes, a group would tell her to go where she would be safe, but a group could also help with the emotional damage that has been done to her.  Having her life threatened in her own home by a family member is devastating emotinally.  She probably cannot relax for having to constantly be on her guard when this child is in her home.   I would imagine she is depressed, sad, and anxious.   She came to this site because she couldn't talk about this problem to anyone in her life.  She needs someone to talk to; counseling and support groups are exactly what she needs.   Shame on you for so glibly saying "that's all a support group would tell you anyway," but maybe you have had a bad experience with couseling.
Quoting Refurbished:
I don't think you need a support group -- you need to leave.  That's all that a support group would tell you anyway.  Never, ever stay in any situation where your life is being threatened. 

Are you custodial or noncustodial? 





YesImMomToo
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 9:57 PM
2 moms liked this

 same here... one word...

 taser

(yes Im joking.. maybe)

Quoting Amy1973Potts:

Thay would only happen once in my home.

ONCE.

 

Amy1973Potts
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 10:19 PM
Yaaaa....and Im sorry.....years? Sorry Im not buying it. I dont care whats wrong with the kid. No kid does that to an adult. Not more than once or twice. And mentally ill/retarded is not an excuse. Sorry.

Funny...poster hasnt been back. Kid kill her and eat her? Sorry I spoke too soon.

I see he has alphabet soup.

If he is slowly getting WORSE, LETS TRY INPATIENT! That should be an option at this point. If not, refuse to be alone with him. /span>
Quoting YesImMomToo:

 same here... one word...


 taser


(yes Im joking.. maybe)


Quoting Amy1973Potts:

Thay would only happen once in my home.

ONCE.

 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
afwifeandmommy3
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 10:22 PM
Where is this child's mother ? Maybe he needs to be placed in a home or long term treatment center
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
YesImMomToo
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 10:26 PM

 I don't buy the full sack of potatos either... One of the classes that was taught by the state when we were doing foster care is how to safely restrain a child in the event they become violent, or how to remove yourself from the situation if they become violent.

I mean an 8 year old would have nothing on me, hell, even our 12 year old couldn't touch me unless I allowed it and if he did 9-1-1 is there for a reason, if Dad can't make other arrangments for son in the morning so it stops.

Something isn't adding up here.

OP - you aren't a victim and there are many things you can do why haven't you?

Quoting Amy1973Potts:

Yaaaa....and Im sorry.....years? Sorry Im not buying it. I dont care whats wrong with the kid. No kid does that to an adult. Not more than once or twice. And mentally ill/retarded is not an excuse. Sorry.

Funny...poster hasnt been back. Kid kill her and eat her?


Quoting YesImMomToo:

 same here... one word...


 taser


(yes Im joking.. maybe)


Quoting Amy1973Potts:

Thay would only happen once in my home.

ONCE.

 

 

Amy1973Potts
by on Dec. 2, 2012 at 10:33 PM
Right? I mean, fold the fucker up in a mattress if you have to.....Jesus.

Quoting YesImMomToo:

 I don't buy the full sack of potatos either... One of the classes that was taught by the state when we were doing foster care is how to safely restrain a child in the event they become violent, or how to remove yourself from the situation if they become violent.


I mean an 8 year old would have nothing on me, hell, even our 12 year old couldn't touch me unless I allowed it and if he did 9-1-1 is there for a reason, if Dad can't make other arrangments for son in the morning so it stops.


Something isn't adding up here.


OP - you aren't a victim and there are many things you can do why haven't you?


Quoting Amy1973Potts:

Yaaaa....and Im sorry.....years? Sorry Im not buying it. I dont care whats wrong with the kid. No kid does that to an adult. Not more than once or twice. And mentally ill/retarded is not an excuse. Sorry.

Funny...poster hasnt been back. Kid kill her and eat her?



Quoting YesImMomToo:


 same here... one word...



 taser



(yes Im joking.. maybe)



Quoting Amy1973Potts:

Thay would only happen once in my home.

ONCE.


 


 

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