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just want to get this off my chest

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:26 PM
  • 39 Replies

So to put a long story in a short one here goes. My husband and I got together 2years ago and we just got married in June. From the time his youngest daughter was 3 months and son was 1year his ex left him with all 4 children and gave him sole custudy of all 4  of the kids in the divorce. only paying $100 a month in cs. A month before our wedding she filed  a op on my husband saying he beat his son that is now 10 and dcfs was called to the house it was unfounded. we had to go to court the day before our wedding just to get the kids for the wedding. whitch we got. in order to get her to drop the op he gave her temp  custudy until the battle was over. when the order was entered we only got saturday from 9am-8am one weekend the next is sunday from 9 am to 4pm us driving no over night visits cuz she is saying it isnt safe. On the day before thanksgiving she asked if he could take them  the time they was out of school so they stayed with us for 5 days and we took them home on sunday at 8pm. then this past weekend she let us have them friday-sunday.. I am so confused if you thought that your kids was being hurt would you send them to that place i know that I wouldnt. i forgot to tell you she has no job and both kids sleep on the floor and my hubby pays her $193 a week to support the kids cuz she told the judge that she cant afford them.. Any thoughts on what all we should do to prove that she is lieing and just wants money

Sarah

by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:35 PM

I don't understand how you went from having custody of the kids to NOT having custody of the kids.  Why would he give her temp custody and how did he end up losing custody????

lnr187
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:47 PM
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 im with sandeeyo... why did he give up custody?! do they even know this woman? how are they coping? there was no reason for him to give them up. he could have just offered visitation. if the issue is money, then he can say ok don't pay me cs and leave me alone. how was she paying $100 before if she wasn't working. he kinda screwed himself in this one :( there isn't really a way to prove she's lying except for the kids word. document that you had them overnight and the 5 days. and get back into court asap.

captaincw322
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:18 PM
1 mom liked this

First off.  Dumb move, signing over custody.  Even Temporary Custody.  She abandoned her kids.  The son was old enough to say whether the abuse happened.  

Anyways.  Document EVERYTHING.  The times you pick them up.  The times you drop them off.  Keep every vm, text, or phone call record she sends you.  If she is asking you to take the kids for longer periods of time, then clearly she isnt too concerned.  Do you have a lawyer? This is all stuff to bring up to him.

sid1083
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 2:26 AM
$193/week isn't much to live on, much less support 4 children.
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Mommyof5247
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:55 AM

More story please. How did DH lose custody from one unfounded accusation of abuse after raising the kids for 9 yrs?  If it was unfounded, why did DH give the kids back to BM to get her to drop the OP? The OP would have been dropped based on her unfounded allegations or lack of evidence.  By the sounds of it, he just handed the kids back over because he didn't want to deal with it at the moment. She probably wouldn't have gotten them back full time & been able to dictate DH's time if he hadn't done that.

Just as other moms said, document everything but I'm not sure how you're going to prove that she's lying or only doing it for money. Handing them to DH 9 yrs ago is a start and anything she says to DH in writing will help. What was her involvement for those 9 yrs?


SAHM BM of DS17, DD14, DD22mos., Baby due 2013 & CSM of SD6 & SS5

sarahsue2012
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:26 PM

she got an OP and the day of court her lawyer gave our lawyer 110 pages of motions an hr before court he didnt have time to look over it all and said that if she was to drop the op it would help us in the long run cuz she was saying that the kids wasnt being hurt. My husband thought that it was in the kids best interest to give her temp cusody until the lawyer could get everything in order. Believe me he is hurting I have been married before and I have never seen a man hurt so much not being with his children. The mom in the past hardly seen her kids. and to answer the comment that 193 isnt that much well i for got to tell you the oldest 2 are 20 and 18 and live on their own we pay their cell phones, insurace and if they need help with bills we help. 

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:51 PM
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I still don't get it.  You just don't hand kids over to someone that has hardly seen his/her kids in the past.  How was it in the kids' best interest to be with a parent that they hardly ever saw?  What was your DH's reasoning behind that?

It almost sounds like he got frustrated and threw his hands up in the air and went, "Whatever..."

Quoting sarahsue2012:

she got an OP and the day of court her lawyer gave our lawyer 110 pages of motions an hr before court he didnt have time to look over it all and said that if she was to drop the op it would help us in the long run cuz she was saying that the kids wasnt being hurt. My husband thought that it was in the kids best interest to give her temp cusody until the lawyer could get everything in order. Believe me he is hurting I have been married before and I have never seen a man hurt so much not being with his children. The mom in the past hardly seen her kids. and to answer the comment that 193 isnt that much well i for got to tell you the oldest 2 are 20 and 18 and live on their own we pay their cell phones, insurace and if they need help with bills we help. 


faerie75
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:59 PM
1 mom liked this

 she wants to have control. thats it. period. she says "its not safe" to get her way but once the dust settles she will leave them with you more and more. BM did this too.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:09 PM


Quoting sandeeyo:

I don't understand how you went from having custody of the kids to NOT having custody of the kids.  Why would he give her temp custody and how did he end up losing custody????

this was my question too.

also, 193 a week is not all that much for 4 kids.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:12 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting sarahsue2012:

she got an OP and the day of court her lawyer gave our lawyer 110 pages of motions an hr before court he didnt have time to look over it all and said that if she was to drop the op it would help us in the long run cuz she was saying that the kids wasnt being hurt. My husband thought that it was in the kids best interest to give her temp cusody until the lawyer could get everything in order. Believe me he is hurting I have been married before and I have never seen a man hurt so much not being with his children. The mom in the past hardly seen her kids. and to answer the comment that 193 isnt that much well i for got to tell you the oldest 2 are 20 and 18 and live on their own we pay their cell phones, insurace and if they need help with bills we help. 

this doesnt make sense to me. Your DH's lawyer could have asked for a continuance if he only got the motion an hour before the court time. That is not how court works.

It's impossible for me to believe that her allegations were unfounded, and he gave her temporary custody, AND after all that, she ends up with permanant custody.

I think there is a lot missing from this story.

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