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Can You Define...

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:45 AM
  • 10 Replies
A DisneyLand parent? What types of behaviors do these types of parents have? What is typically their parenting style? Is it the same as spoiling a child?
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by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:45 AM
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raerae725
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:50 AM

My ex is a disneyland parent.  My thoughts are it is someone who has a child for a short period of time so they want every day to be a fun filled adventure..... like a vacation to disneyland.  I think it spoils a child to an extent, but in the majority of cases it tends to be with the parent who rarely sees the child and it isn't much different then going to the sterotypical grandma's for the weekend and not getting in trouble for anything.  DS actually has stricter rules and sees my parents way more then he does his dad.  I wouldn't expect his dad to carry over or deal out any major punishments while DS is there.  Even if DS is acting out prior to going.  Those few weeks are all they get together and they want every moment to be memorable.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:58 AM
My ex used to be a 'Disney' dad. He would pick her up and they would do whatever SHE wanted to do all weekend long. No bed time, no bath, no routine, no discipline. She turned in to a whiney little 5 year old super fast. Every weekend he had her, he would buy her SOMEtHING. And if she said 'I don't WAAANNNTT to do that today' he would say OK whatever you want.

I remember one conversation I had with SM when she first started dating him, where she blamed 'us' for not parenting our daughter and trying to he her friend and giving in to her every whim even if it meant buying her something and not able to pay the electric bill and I said 'oh no honey, that's ALL him and he is ALL yours!!' He isn't this way now. And honestly I am glad but it caused a lot of strain on the relationship between him and our daughter because for so long he let her run the house and now that he had rules and expectations she went in to shock. That was a couple years ago and she is well adjusted now to his change in parenting but I saw disaster brewing but it wasn't my battle to fight. He really messed her up there in the beginning because he just wanted to have so much FUN all the time and nothing else. She was turning in to a brat super fast. I am proud to say that she is a very well mannered, very well adjusted, loving, caring, gracious child but I had my doubts there for a while. He was turning her in to an entitled little monster.
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raerae725
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 1:30 AM
Quoting momof2ex1:

My ex used to be a 'Disney' dad. He would pick her up and they would do whatever SHE wanted to do all weekend long. No bed time, no bath, no routine, no discipline. She turned in to a whiney little 5 year old super fast. Every weekend he had her, he would buy her SOMEtHING. And if she said 'I don't WAAANNNTT to do that today' he would say OK whatever you want.

I remember one conversation I had with SM when she first started dating him, where she blamed 'us' for not parenting our daughter and trying to he her friend and giving in to her every whim even if it meant buying her something and not able to pay the electric bill and I said 'oh no honey, that's ALL him and he is ALL yours!!' He isn't this way now. And honestly I am glad but it caused a lot of strain on the relationship between him and our daughter because for so long he let her run the house and now that he had rules and expectations she went in to shock. That was a couple years ago and she is well adjusted now to his change in parenting but I saw disaster brewing but it wasn't my battle to fight. He really messed her up there in the beginning because he just wanted to have so much FUN all the time and nothing else. She was turning in to a brat super fast. I am proud to say that she is a very well mannered, very well adjusted, loving, caring, gracious child but I had my doubts there for a while. He was turning her in to an entitled little monster.



Out of curiosity how often did he see her? I would say between visiting other family on BFs time DS only is with his dad about 3 weeks a year.
Amy1973Potts
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:53 AM
You don't have to see the kids rarely to be Disneyland.....speaking of entitled little monsters lol....yes unfortunately this is what is going on in BM land now, and she has her in laws (!!!!) supporting this tactic.
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Derdriu
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:59 AM
The Disney parenting has a lot to do with guilt. The parent can't handle their own emotion if they disciple or say no and/or (probably and) they're desperate to be liked by their child. There's a fear there that if they're "mean" and the child doesn't like them, then the child won't want to visit / live with them. I suppose it's possible they may also be trying to outshine the other parent.

BM is Disney mom. She sees the kids 4 days per month and tries to fill the visits with over-the-top fun. She also complains that they always want more. She doesn't say no, so why shouldn't they expect every demand met? She readily admits she has guilt about her past behavior and losing custody. SD is an opportunist; if you offer it, she'll take it. SS can be an absolutely spoiled brat at times, but that's her doing. Since BM wants custody of him (but not SD), she's been really splurging lately on outings and electronics. She'll then text or FB tag SD the photos of what she's missing out on. We just keep on trucking... not too much if an issue at our house since SS is accustomed to hearing "no" here.
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whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:07 AM
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They are afraid to exercise any authority because they are afraid that if they do, their child won't want to come visit them anymore.

sassy711
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:19 AM

In alot of divorces the one who becomes a "disneyland parent" was pretty much not an active/involved parent when married.  So when the divorce rolls around, these individuals tend to believe that if they never say no to a kid, that the kid will love them more.  For many, it's easier to give the kids whatever they want to avoid conflict and arguements.

Saying yes all the time is not parenting, saying no when/where appropriate is.  Being a mother or father is a biological function, being a parent requires committment, discipline, love, guidance, respect.  Being a parent means not always taking the easy way out, but doing the right thing.

LittleMama2012
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 9:30 AM
Bm is a Disneyland parent. She has her monday-friday when she goes to school. They go somewhere everyday. She gets her out of school early to have fun. She doesn't make her do her homework everyday, let's her wear whatever(flip flops when it is 40 degrees outside), doesn't get up with her to get ready for school, doesn't make her take her meds regularly, talks to her as if she were 20 instead of 10, let's her be loud and obnoxious in public, let's her parent the 3 year old, no boundaries, etc.

So she comes to our house expecting to rule the roost and do as she pleases when she pleased and we are expected to abide. Yeah I don't think so. Hence the drama that ensues. Recently she told me we were to stop doing anything fun when she was not here. Because that is not fair. And she would go to bm's early because she wanted to. Yeah that didn't work either.
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:34 AM
Every weekend and one day a week.

Now it's Thursday to Monday. Every other weekend.


Quoting raerae725:

Quoting momof2ex1:

My ex used to be a 'Disney' dad. He would pick her up and they would do whatever SHE wanted to do all weekend long. No bed time, no bath, no routine, no discipline. She turned in to a whiney little 5 year old super fast. Every weekend he had her, he would buy her SOMEtHING. And if she said 'I don't WAAANNNTT to do that today' he would say OK whatever you want.



I remember one conversation I had with SM when she first started dating him, where she blamed 'us' for not parenting our daughter and trying to he her friend and giving in to her every whim even if it meant buying her something and not able to pay the electric bill and I said 'oh no honey, that's ALL him and he is ALL yours!!' He isn't this way now. And honestly I am glad but it caused a lot of strain on the relationship between him and our daughter because for so long he let her run the house and now that he had rules and expectations she went in to shock. That was a couple years ago and she is well adjusted now to his change in parenting but I saw disaster brewing but it wasn't my battle to fight. He really messed her up there in the beginning because he just wanted to have so much FUN all the time and nothing else. She was turning in to a brat super fast. I am proud to say that she is a very well mannered, very well adjusted, loving, caring, gracious child but I had my doubts there for a while. He was turning her in to an entitled little monster.





Out of curiosity how often did he see her? I would say between visiting other family on BFs time DS only is with his dad about 3 weeks a year.

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raerae725
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:02 PM
Ah i, see a lot of you deal with Disney land mentality with a parent that has the kids way too often for that to work. I never considered it bad, but BF really only has him a long vacation amount of time. Makes a huge difference.

Quoting momof2ex1:

Every weekend and one day a week.



Now it's Thursday to Monday. Every other weekend.




Quoting raerae725:

Quoting momof2ex1:

My ex used to be a 'Disney' dad. He would pick her up and they would do whatever SHE wanted to do all weekend long. No bed time, no bath, no routine, no discipline. She turned in to a whiney little 5 year old super fast. Every weekend he had her, he would buy her SOMEtHING. And if she said 'I don't WAAANNNTT to do that today' he would say OK whatever you want.





I remember one conversation I had with SM when she first started dating him, where she blamed 'us' for not parenting our daughter and trying to he her friend and giving in to her every whim even if it meant buying her something and not able to pay the electric bill and I said 'oh no honey, that's ALL him and he is ALL yours!!' He isn't this way now. And honestly I am glad but it caused a lot of strain on the relationship between him and our daughter because for so long he let her run the house and now that he had rules and expectations she went in to shock. That was a couple years ago and she is well adjusted now to his change in parenting but I saw disaster brewing but it wasn't my battle to fight. He really messed her up there in the beginning because he just wanted to have so much FUN all the time and nothing else. She was turning in to a brat super fast. I am proud to say that she is a very well mannered, very well adjusted, loving, caring, gracious child but I had my doubts there for a while. He was turning her in to an entitled little monster.







Out of curiosity how often did he see her? I would say between visiting other family on BFs time DS only is with his dad about 3 weeks a year.

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