Should A Stepparent Refer To Their Stepchildren As Their Own?

[annabl1970]

LeAnn Rimes, Brandi Glanville: Should A Stepparent Refer To Their Stepchildren As Their Own?

So much for a social media truce. Late last week, the Twitter feud between LeAnn Rimes and Brandi Glanville was reignited when the country singer took to Twitter to share her weekend plans with her followers.

"Flying out with my boys in a few hrs," Rimes tweeted on Nov. 30, referring to husband Eddie Cibrian’s two sons with Glanville. "Love that it's a family tour weekend. It's always more fun when they are with me."

The tweet didn't go over well with Glanville, whom Cibrian split from in 2009 after having an extramarital affair with Rimes.

"Someone is trying 2 get under my skin by calling MY children "her boys" Sooo transparent! They R MY boys, Eddie Boys and ur step-sons... 4 now," Glanville tweeted on Dec. 1.

The Twitter feud sparked further conversation on HuffPost Divorce's Facebook page, where step-moms and bio-moms alike chimed in with their thoughts on whether step-parents like Rimes should refer to their step-kids as their own.

[Simmeringhearts]

I have been raising my 15 year old stepson since he was 6. With the mother not around. I refer to my stepson as mine. And if she doesn't like it, too damn bad!

[Charli627]

We say "our" kids.

[knoxmomof2]

I guess it depends on the relationship with the child and the context where it's being said/ written. A friend LOVES to put things on her FB (that she knows the ex reads) about her sk's, all sappy and fake about her and her Hubby's "wonderful life" and "perfect kids", etc... That is just plain WRONG. (I know she's being fake b/c we talk about things like her relationship/ the stepkids and it's NOT "wonderful" when we talk.  I've always referred to my SD as just that... so if I'm talking about her on FB, I use her name or say "my stepdaughter". She has a Mother, and it's not me. I'm realistic about that.

[krazykiddles]

I won't call them my own.  I didn't have them BM and DH did.  I wasn't there during conception so they are not mine.  Sorry for the brutal honesty. 

[fantasticfour]

I consider my step kids my children.  They do not call me mom, but they are my kids.  To be fair, I call my ss's best friend my kid too.  His mother is fine with it, and the friend does call me mom.  Once again, she's fine with it.

[Emyles]

I didn't read everyones comments and it could just be me BUT I didn't look at it that deeply. I felt like she was just talking in general "her boys". I don't always see it necessary to always have to put "step or not my real kids" infront of everything. I do say "our" and "my 5" a lot, and I have said "my kids" before. I just figure the important people know who our bios are because the KNOW us. Everyone else we dnt have time to explain or break it down for them. Usually when asked if I really had all them or asked are they all mine. I reply, "I had 2 and 3 are my husbands, so I have 5 all together" they catch on than!
My husband says "my kids" (refering to my bios too) all the time. One of the few times I heard him say stepkids was in court when he explained to the judge who lives in our home. The skids call me "mama" and don't really like to be called stepkids, so for them I do watch how I say things. But they know who I am and who their mother is. They say they have 2 moms, and my kids have 2 dads.

[taylamill]

I say mine. However my step kids mom and I get along plus I have been there since they were babies. Oh and they call me mom as well. Not step mom but mom. I have been with them for nine years. They respect all of us because we work as a unit and don't let them play us against each other. Some families have forgotten what that is like.

[chanizen]

I say our family. But not "my kid"



I think if bm isn't offended by the kid being "my kid". Or calling sm "mom", that is one thing. Then there is no harm:



If a bp is offended, it is another.



Often the "my kid", "call me mom" can be used as a form of alienation. Which is really crappy.



And, btw, switch up all the genders and it still holds true.

[Emyles]

Btw I have said "look at my boys", which included my little brother and my nephew before. Or "the men in my life", which included my dad, big brother, lil brother, hubby and my male kids(step/bio). So to me it was all "generally" speaking, not actually meaning all were my boys as in kids or all my men as in them all being 18 and older or just my hubby. Like when people say "that's my baby" and its a pic of there godchild or their bestfriend baby.
And by them being famous EVERYBODY knows LeAnn Rims never was pregnant with them boys to have had them and we also knew it wasn't a big adoption story about her adopting. Therefore no one actually thought she was saying "my boys" as in her bio kids.

Quoting Emyles:

I didn't read everyones comments and it could just be me BUT I didn't look at it that deeply. I felt like she was just talking in general "her boys". I don't always see it necessary to always have to put "step or not my real kids" infront of everything. I do say "our" and "my 5" a lot, and I have said "my kids" before. I just figure the important people know who our bios are because the KNOW us. Everyone else we dnt have time to explain or break it down for them. Usually when asked if I really had all them or asked are they all mine. I reply, "I had 2 and 3 are my husbands, so I have 5 all together" they catch on than!

My husband says "my kids" (refering to my bios too) all the time. One of the few times I heard him say stepkids was in court when he explained to the judge who lives in our home. The skids call me "mama" and don't really like to be called stepkids, so for them I do watch how I say things. But they know who I am and who their mother is. They say they have 2 moms, and my kids have 2 dads.