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interested to know.....

Posted by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:45 PM
  • 26 Replies

I am interested in knowing how many ladies on here actually get along with there ex's new spouse's/wives/gf.....i only ask because of my own situtation, which is i am both a bm and a sm. As a bm i have one common child in which i share custody with his father. His father quickly married to a much younger gal that he actually was carring on a affair with when we were still married. She was not the reason for the divorce, in fact i didnt know about her until almost a yr after the divorce. I was told by my ex about her at counciling we were attending. But from the very beginning she was nasty and just plain different. I infact was happy she was with my ex. It meant he would stop trying to get me back. He couldve won a lottery with all the money i have ever dreamt of and i wouldnt go back to him. It took me 7 yrs to get up the courage to leave him. Anyways, needless to say they didnt last but 6mos. until she left him. Now he dates someone else and i get along with her better than i do him...She is amazing to my son. And honestly thats all i ever wanted.

Now as far as being a sm. Thats somewhat stained. We dont hate each other. In fact we knew of each other before, not friends but we had common friends. We actually had a conversation about being mature and showing everyone how its done....lol....We are often at the same events as my ss has basketball tournaments we all attend almost every weekend. And its not anything like she led me to believe it would be. She avoids me and sometime even makes teenage drama at the games. I ignore it because I am not interested in drama at all. Problem is it can be very uncomfotable for the skids. Am i the only one who deals with this type of immaturity from the bm'S/or ex's sidnificant others?? Just curious....lol

btw....sorry i am not up on my cafemom lingo yet. I am still new...  :0)

thank you for your time

by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Sarahb21
by Bronze Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:49 PM
1 mom liked this

I really tried to get along with BM. I was the one that dealt with her for about 4 yrs because they couldn't get along. But eventually I just couldn't do it anymore. She's evil. She plays mind games. She threatens. She treats SS like crap. She spreads lies and rumors about us like wildfire. The list goes on and on. I can control my tongue for only a limited amount of time and that time had passed. We are civil with each and will chat ever so fakely ( that's not a word lol) when SS is around but in my head I'm screaming at her.

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 8:00 PM
1 mom liked this

my ex's new wife and I got along quite well :) we've actually never met face to face-just chatted on myspace/FB/yahoo.

My ex always tried to cause drama-but we shut him out lol.

ANd as far as BM and I-we started off rocky-but things got better :)

angirose
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 8:13 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Tigress22304:

my ex's new wife and I got along quite well :) we've actually never met face to face-just chatted on myspace/FB/yahoo.

My ex always tried to cause drama-but we shut him out lol.

ANd as far as BM and I-we started off rocky-but things got better :)

thats refreshing....... :0)

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 8:24 PM
2 moms liked this

When I first met BM things were decent. She didn't really care how involved I was with SD or anything, she was busy doing her own thing. Once she found out DH and I were getting married things went downhill FAST. She begged him not to marry me, obviously he did, and then things got SUPER nasty. Her first ex-husband contacted DH and told him that BM was obsessed with him and trying to ruin our life in the hopes that we'd divorce (that was about 5 years ago). About 10 months ago BM did a full 180 and is tolerable. She'll text and call me if she can't get a hold of DH (he works about 55 hours a week) and calls me SD's "other mom".

I still don't trust her, not after all that we've been through over the last 11 years. But, Things are WAY better than they've ever been. 

Chibi_Kitten
by Krystal on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:47 PM
1 mom liked this

 My husband's ex wife and I get along great. We aren't best friends or anything but we get along great, hang out at family events/functions, her and my husband even call me for updates on the kids (all four even though only two of them are hers) and she even invited us to her house warming party a couple years ago when she bought her new house. The only thing we didn't do was attend each others' weddings, lol.

rose0919
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:55 PM

i got along great with xh second xw after me dd sm. we are still friends. but bm to my ss if he was on fire and i had a glass of water i would rink it befor i would help her. she has put me through hell for 7 yrs. 

Emyles
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 6:36 AM
My bio doesn't have a sm and the gf's don't last long enough to deal with. Only 1 I know of kept my kid and she also texted me from my bd cell that he pays too much cs for my 1 kid. It wasn't her business and 3 months later she was gone.

As for being a Sm; me and bm don't care for each other. Bm has my # if she ever needs me (she would have to be more involved so she won't use it). We only saw each other once at Temp court a little over a month ago. Before than she wasn't around and after she came back about 8 months ago she still never cared to come around and meet me. The only time she meantioned me to the judge was to say I took skids to the doctor and let the doctor touch their privates. Glad judge knew better and could see bm had no idea what a doctor does in a physical. Bm never took any of her kids to the doctors so she didn't know doctors look and check everywhere. Well she did recently took her baby to emergency room but for some reason she shows more interest in her baby.

This works for us and right now bm and hubby can talk nicely to each other.
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yesmaam
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:01 AM
1 mom liked this

 Sounds about right, you're sitch is not unique lol Just continue to take care of YOUR kids and ignore BM's behavior.

raerae725
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:11 AM
I get along great with ex Sm. I don't know the girl he is dating now, and think he would like to keep it that way. Her and ex SM didn't get along at all and i think that changed slightly but not much. My ex doesn't like me talking to hisgirlfriends i think in part because he tells so many stories. Its hard to say i keep DS away when she can talk to me and i say oh no he never tried to see him.
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MomGoingCrazy78
by Lindy Lou on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:27 AM

BM doesn't like me, hasn't from the getgo because SD liked me. DH and I have been married almost 7 years and together longer than that. Bm has now realized over the past year or so that I am not "evil," she knows SD loves me and that I am a big part of SD's life. BM has come to terms with that and we have been able to be civil with each other. We don't hang out, talk on FB (she's not even a friend on FB), or even chat when we go to events for SD. We are just civil and so far that's what works for us.

I am also a BM. My kids' SM and I get along. We're not friends, but we can have a conversation if we need to.

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