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So SS came over tonight. DH thought he was off work but they called him in. He and SS went to the Christmas tree arm and cut down our tree and found out on his way home he had to work. So he left SS with me. Well bm pitched a fit and wanted SS to call so I had him call her. And she was on the phone saying how DH was stupid and this and that and that she was gonna have to call an get on him for having to work. All the while SS is defending DH saying he didn't know he had to work and that he can't magically come home from work right now. It's just sad. Especially since she goes on and on about how she doesn't talk bad about DH to SS when she outright called him stupid and said other things too. I heard her on speaker phone. Vent over.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:34 PM
Replies (21-27):
needsupport100
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:45 AM

i think i would've told bm. if it's that important to you, feel free to come get him

lnr187
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:54 AM

 oh ok thanks

Quoting Charli627:

Right of first refusal.

Basically if one of the parents can not watch the kid/kids, they are to call the other parent and ask if they want the kid/kids before finding other means of childcare. If the other parents says yes, then the kid/kids are suppose to go to the parent. If not, the that parent can find someone to watch the kids.


Quoting lnr187:

 what is ROFR?


Quoting Amy1973Potts:

Amen. Not all children have to magically go back to a parent the instant the other one leaves for whatever reason, barring ROFR. Which is ridicilous anyway. Just a paper pissing contest when adults refuse to be adults and behave responsibly


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:


 



Quoting packermomof2:


I think it is stupid that you need a CO to tell you to let the oP have the time with the kid whenever whose time it is can't be there... All he had to do was tell mom his job called him in and ask him if she wants to come get the child and that he'll pick him back up when he is done or later on.. 


See, this I don't understand. If it's dad's time with the kid, and he gets called into work for a few hours, why should the kid automatically go back to BM?


 

 

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:36 AM
1 mom liked this

IF bm was stuck at work herself-then why is she complaining about DH working? It's not like she can come get him!

Makes no sense.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:43 AM

DH works 55 hours a week. 5 days a week he's gone from right after the kids get up until the time they're getting ready for bed. DH has custody, BM lives in the same city as us, but chooses to have SD one weekend a month (SD doesn't have a room or any personal belongings at BM's as BM lives with a man and his 2 kids in a 2 bedroom apartment). Bm goes to school from 6-10 every night. BM may or may not work (she has, but very infrequently) before school.

SD gets out of school at 3:35 (with her siblings), is home by 4, and then has homework. Three days a week we have appointments after school (therapy for SD and DD, BM has never been to any of SD's therapy appointments). So, it would be a LOT of back and forth if BM was supposed to watch SD each and every second DH couldn't. At least she's with her siblings and SM at her home.

Quoting Charli627:

Yeah and op said bm works too so who is watching him when she works, it doesn't sound like she is sending him to dad.

And at my dh job, he is a rover. Meaning like on call for different locations. And bm lives almost a hour away. So if he got called in for 5 and it is 4 when he got the call, taking skids back and coming back will make him almost an hour late.


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:



Quoting packermomof2:

I think it is stupid that you need a CO to tell you to let the oP have the time with the kid whenever whose time it is can't be there... All he had to do was tell mom his job called him in and ask him if she wants to come get the child and that he'll pick him back up when he is done or later on.. 

See, this I don't understand. If it's dad's time with the kid, and he gets called into work for a few hours, why should the kid automatically go back to BM?


pepper504
by Gold Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 1:19 PM
1 mom liked this

DH's ex used to do this.  SS knows what his mother is all about.  She used to tell DH "He will know the true you and want nothing to do with you."  SS knows the true DH and he sees how his mother is. 

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 1:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Its that job he has that contributes to the support she gets.  He loses it then she loses also... she needs to grow up.

SKYSMOM22308
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 1:39 PM

wow yeah that is sad  my future DH has to work a lot so he has to leave ss with me a  lot but   no parent should put there child though that

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