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Hey Ladies,

So... My husband and his ex wife has joint physical custody of their twin boys. My husband had to go out of state to work and as soon as the ex wife found out she took the boys and refuses to let me take them on my husbands designated time. Any suggestions? I have two kids so the boys have a step brother and sister here and the ex wife is just being completely irrational.

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:09 PM
Replies (21-30):
Amy1973Potts
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 4:42 AM
1 mom liked this
Think of all the money you will save on food...all the laundry you wont have to do....all the schlepping......

Enjoy the break!
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Shellmb17
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:08 AM
I think some of you are confused. I am not saying she is irrational for taking her kids and I am not stating I should get her kids over her. I simply believe it is very sad to not even allow them to follow through with the plans that were made this weekend and to refuse to let us spend time with them. I am a firm believer that the more people to love the children the better. How is taking a 9 year old out of their routine and not letting them see us, who they spend a significant amount of time with previously, what's best for the child? I think she is just making it harder on the boys. Granted I realize her kids not mine I am only the step parent. I realize all this, I do have two kids o my own, however I just think it is sad to deny is any time with them even one day to spend the night. That is what I am saying is irrational. So I hope this brand some clarity to my situation as some of you seem very confused. Granted yes the break will be nice but I love the kids just as I love my own and I don't treat anyone any different.
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Amy1973Potts
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:38 AM
I think one weekend....she should give it to you....but dont expect the BN to ever look out for your best intetests, care about your feelings, even if involves your kids, forget it.

SMS are dirt on their pointy little shoes, don't you know?
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Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:45 AM

sorry-sounds like she's got the right to do so according to the CO.

You'll just have to wait until DH comes home

kristinbugg
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:15 AM
1 mom liked this
Visitation isn't for SKs to spend time with you and your children. It is for the children to spend time with their father. BM doesn't have to allow you to take the children in lieu of their father. That is the same as demanding that BM send her children to a babysitter for the weekend.
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soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:21 AM
2 moms liked this
You think it hurts the kids to be with their parent over a nonparent are you kidding me?
Troubleswife
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:29 AM
Ok, I disagree that visitation isn't for you or your children. Many Courts do feel that stability and routine in a normally healthy family environment are important enough to maintain. These children spent half their time in your home so there is an element to family visitation.

I am not sure it would be to maintain the same schedule but I do think those things are important. I kept my SS when my husband was working on the same schedule for all those reasons. I regret it. It didn't put the responsibility where it belonged and my children had less of me and DH.

Where is you husband in all this? Why can't he talk to his X? I suspects she's pissed she wasn't notified which is something HE need to grovel over since it looks like he was trying to bypass the ROFR.

How long is he gone?
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rose0919
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:48 AM

from what i see no one is confused. we all understand bms point. YOU are not a parent to the kids. your DH is  the visit is for him not you or the stepsiblings. bm is well withing her rights. i will not ever have ss if dh is here. not my kid not my problem.  go about with your plans with your kids. if when your dh gets home he wants to change the co to include you as sm then he can do that. but till then dont sweat the small stuff you will have bigger issues in the future.

just one question is there a sf in the picture? 

Quoting Shellmb17:

I think some of you are confused. I am not saying she is irrational for taking her kids and I am not stating I should get her kids over her. I simply believe it is very sad to not even allow them to follow through with the plans that were made this weekend and to refuse to let us spend time with them. I am a firm believer that the more people to love the children the better. How is taking a 9 year old out of their routine and not letting them see us, who they spend a significant amount of time with previously, what's best for the child? I think she is just making it harder on the boys. Granted I realize her kids not mine I am only the step parent. I realize all this, I do have two kids o my own, however I just think it is sad to deny is any time with them even one day to spend the night. That is what I am saying is irrational. So I hope this brand some clarity to my situation as some of you seem very confused. Granted yes the break will be nice but I love the kids just as I love my own and I don't treat anyone any different.


whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:57 PM

I think the mom had a right to keep her kids, and I would probably have done the same thing. sorry.

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Dec. 8, 2012 at 2:02 PM

Sorry, I don't think she's being irrational.  The boys should stay with their mom when dad isn't home or won't be home for awhile to be with them.

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